I'll Always Be There For You
by iwishiwasnthere
Summary: This is my first story, review it if you want. Italics is from George's point of view and regular writing is from Hermione's. Ron breaks up with Hermione, she's lost but, at least she has George, George has problems of his own. Can they help each other? Will they be able to save each other? Hopefully better than it sounds and I'll try to make it better as it progresses. Thanks :)
1. Tears of Hurt

'Hermione can I come in?' said a small voice coming from outside the wooden door to my bedroom. 'What the fuck do they want?' I said to myself not in the mood to talk to anyone…not even Harry or Ginny and definitely not that bastard Ron… I stared out my window as the sun shone through it and glistened onto the polished wooden floors and made everything that was wooden in my room look shiny and new.

'Alo harmora.' I said flicking my wand up from underneath my pillow, the button on the door knob pressed outwards like a bullet being released from a gun and it slowly creaked open. I saw a shadow near the door and it was taller than Ron, Harry and Ginny so I thought it was Mr Weasley to ask if I was okay so I sat up.

A tall ginger headed boy known only as George Weasley walked in… 'Don't try to tell me to go with that jerk again… or to do anything to do with Ron, I hate that son of a bitch!' George's mouth gaped open 'I'm not…' 'THEN WHAT ARE YOU HERE FOR?' I snapped, I was so angry, my heart was pounding.

'I heard about Ron and Lavender getting back together…' he said looking apologetic and genuinely caring. I put my face into the pillow, my locks of my hair falling around my face. 'I found them in his car!' I shouted and began crying. I squeezed my pillow that if it had life in it would've been gone in one squeeze… my face felt the dampness of my pillow that was still soaked from crying all night, and all morning.

_I saw her doona moving up and down as she heaved and sobbed over what my brother had done to her. 'Why'd he do it for…? I thought he really liked you Hermione, I mean who wouldn't…' I said shrugging but, tensing up slightly at the thought of saying 'anyone'. 'I didn't want sex until engagement or marriage because I only ever want to be with just one person, and devote my whole life to one person… I thought Ron was the one but, I was so wrong George, I didn't want to come back from taking the rubbish out for your mum and see them in his car snogging like there was no tomorrow…' I walked closer to her bedside, feeling the soft rug she had placed on the wooden floor._

_ We had added two extra bedrooms to the Burrow to accommodate Harry and Hermione and it made it feel more homey and bigger than our home was previously. Also the fact that Fred my dearest brother, best friend and every word I can think of hell even business partner had died during the war…his room was now like a shrine and I went in there to talk to him sometimes…_

_ I sat on the bed beside her…'Look Hermione…' I didn't know what to do with my hands… did I put them on her shoulder? On her back? Do I hug her? I didn't know Hermione was one of those girls that you didn't know what to do other than want to comfort her in any possible way… I moved myself and so I could lie beside her and found her face 'Hermione, don't ruin yourself over Ron… if he did that to you then that makes him a massive jerk, don't worry I'll probably put puking pastels in his soup or make him eat slugs again…' underneath all those tears and crying she let out a giggle. 'You're a great friend…' she said putting her arm out to my shoulder and placing her soft hand on it._

_ 'Thanks…' 'Just a great friend?' I thought…_

I got up and sat up on the edge of my bed and felt it creak as I sank into the mattress, and I ran my hands through my hair 'Time to forget about Ron then…'

I went over to Crookshanks' bed and lent down beside my darling kitty and patted him 'You'll never leave me will you?' I asked him sadly and stopped a tear from coming out of my eye. I heard a chuckle and a squeak on my bed. 'Bloody hell Hermione, just because Ron dumps you doesn't mean you have to become cat lady from hell!' he said smiling that cheeky look of 'I'm up to no good but, I'm here to help.' I stood up and put my hair comb back in my hair, then proceeded to walk over to the Weasley and opened my arms openly, he nodded his head and stood up and walked over to where I was standing and gave me a hug…

He was so warm, and caring I didn't want to let go… 'WHAT THE FUCK Hermione WHAT ARE YOU THINKING!' but for some reason it was a feeling I couldn't help not to ignore… eventually we let go of each other and it was awkward because I stood there and stared into his light blue eyes 'I believe lunch is ready…' I said before moving out of his way and tripping on the rug 'I'm okay!' I said before leaving my room.

_'What…the bloody hell was that all about?' I said to myself and turned around towards the door. The light pink paint made the room look lighter and I heard her Beatles records playing in the background on low._

_ I went to walk out of the room and saw a frame had fallen off her book shelf, that was ageing as the varnish was starting to peel off it… the book shelf was the one she bought from home that had a massive collection of books on it from the classics to spells and enchantments; even Hogwarts A History was on it… I lent down and flipped over the metal frame and saw it was a picture of Ron and Hermione with a massive crack in the frame… it wasn't a magical frame where the people moved but, it was a normal muggle picture, it was Christmas in their second year and Ron and Hermione had their arms around each other like the good old pals they were till recently… 'Damn shame…' I said putting it on the shelf and_ walking out of her room and closed the door.

After lunch I wanted to be alone, I sat in the lounge room alone to eat and heard them all talking loudly and laughing. I put my plate on the bench and went to the front door where everyone's shoes sat in a huddled mess. I was looking for my boots, I found them under Ron's slippers and I lent down, picked them up and sat on the stair case and put on one boot at a time.

I grabbed my coat off their old tattered lounge chair and slid it on, wrapped my scarf around my neck which at that moment I wished was a tight noose… I opened the front door and closed it, sniffed the freshly mowed grass and fresh autumn air and began walking.

My shoes crunched in the gravel of the driveway and I began to walk off the main track and decided to find a place to think which wasn't hard at the Weasley's as they had acres to themselves.

I walked around the Weasley property and stared at the sky; kicking rocks as I walked with my boots, autumn had definitely set in. The grass went a funny colour which usually meant snow, the sun shone in my eyes and I covered it with my arm, my trench coat sleeve doing a good job at protecting me from its rays that reached out like tentacles from a large and angry octopus. I walked around till I found a spot under a tree where the grass was soft and over grown and I sat on the ground and began crying, curling up in a ball.

What was I doing? Sitting all alone in the rolling fields and crying over someone I thought I loved who was with someone and didn't fucking tell me? Bloody oath I had the right to cry, I was hurt, felt as if my heart had been ripped out. I considered killing myself but, what was the point? I felt like my soul had been torn in two and this made me cry even harder. 'Why… what did I do?' I shouted and continued crying. My boots which were chestnut brown had worn over the last few years and my feet were cold, I was miserable and I felt like nothing in the world was going to save me from myself… until I heard a voice…

_ 'Hermione… is that you?' I called out from near the trees 'Hermione!' I called out again and listened to the sounds I could hear from behind the big oak tree. The rustling of the leaves interfered with my hearing so I had to move closer to the oak tree to see if that's where she was…_

_I walked through the grass that at some points went up to my knees and saw her, in the fetal position, her knees so close to her face I would've mistaken her for a boulder…just this boulder had light blue jeans and a cream trench coat and scarf…and brown boots…and golden hair and why the hell was I thinking of everything she was wearing! Why didn't I just ask what her favourite colour was to and call it the Hermione boulder…_

_ I walked over to her side and sat down beside her. 'Hermione…' I tapped her on the shoulder and she looked up, her eyes and lips puffy and red, her cheeks red and damp, her nose runny and she didn't stop sobbing, the breeze moved her hair into her face and for some reason she cried harder. 'THAT BASTARD RON WHY? WHAT DID I DO TO HIM? WHY CAN'T HE FEEL WHAT I FEEL NOW…?' she through her head into my chest and cried. I never saw a girl cry so much, it was like it wasn't gonna stop… I felt her head go into my chest harder and I fell back off my feet from crouching and she fell with me, partly lying on my chest crying…_

_ 'Hermione…everything will be fine…' I said putting my arm around her and resting on the other… she didn't move off my chest, she was an emotional wreck, she'd be the Titanic of emotions if it was possible and Ron was the iceberg that made it go down. 'Hermione please stop!' I said grabbing her shoulder with both my hands and making her look into my face. 'You're not gonna die of heart break! You're going to stay strong and get over this!'_

He was so straight forward with me 'I FEEL LIKE IT!' I said crying. 'NO MATTER HOW MUCH YOU FEEL LIKE IT JUST STOP! HE'S NOT COMING BACK TO YOU AND YOU DON'T NEED HIM BACK WITH YOU, NOW LISTEN TO ME!' his yelling didn't bother me, the stern tone of his voice made me listen and he knocked some sense into me… not like Ron and I got married and then he cheated but still I felt so cheated, hurt and I couldn't stop feeling it. I didn't know if I could love again, if I could trust again, if I could do anything emotionally attaching to a guy ever again because I didn't know what to expect!

'I'm sorry George.' I said wiping my eyes with his handkerchief; my eyes hurt so much from the crying it gave me a head ache. 'God Granger… if I knew you could cry like that I would've bought jugs so you could fill 'em up and then we could drink them together and see what happens.' I looked at him, his ginger hair gleaming in the sun light, his smile made me laugh as did his stupid and sarcastic comments. He lied on his back on the grass 'Hermione… I know how you feel…' I lied back on the grass beside him as he explained when one of his girlfriends cheated on him and that the only thing that saved him was his twin, Fred.

'You don't speak about Fred much anymore…' I said looking at him through the grass, the grass whisked his face which looked smooth and distant compared to how he was when Fred was alive, which was happy, full of life and cheerful…lately he looked drained. He looked older than 20…

'What's there to say? He's up there.' He said pointing up at the sky and his eyes relaxed, he didn't blink and he fell silent… 'I wanted to join Freddie after he died… it was like half of you dies when your twin dies… he was my best friend… what gave me reason to live was my family…' he said not staring at me but staring up at the sky still as the afternoon drew on. I felt sorry for him… he didn't have a lover in his life, spent most of his days at work making everyone happy but himself…

'What stopped you from killing yourself?' I asked him sitting up and twisting my hair and pulling leaves out of it, curls were like nets for twigs and such it was annoying. 'I didn't think it was worth it, he wouldn't want me leaving our family for his sake, he'd want me to move on… he'd want me to try to live and find happiness again…' tears were in his eyes and I put my hand out to him and his hand slipped in mine. 'Have you found happiness?' I asked him… 'No…but, I think I'm almost free…' I gave him a small smile and we continued talking…


	2. The Lion With A Broken Soul

Okay chapter two, I hope you like it...if it's not that good review it and tell me if you like it that's good too, summary of this chapter basically Hermione tries to help George as much as she possibly can. Thanks again and italics is George's point of view and Hermione's is normal. (sorry if my summaries are too short i like to be short and sweet).

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It began getting darker, the sky turned to pink and orange, the birds flew across the evening sky talking to one another, the breeze was much colder, the wind picked up and the leaves in the oak tree rustled. Lying below in the arms of the trees roots were two souls lying on the cold grass, hand in hand they lay talking so that only the tree could hear.

'Georgie it's getting late…' I said sitting up and rubbing my arms to keep warm, my cream jacket was stained with dirt but, hey that's what magic's for 'Oh… well you can go I'll meet you back at the Burrow, later on tonight...' He said with a grin and his lion like mane of hair tossed around his face and was covering his eyes.

'George, c'mon we've been talking for hours, don't you want to go inside where it's warm…?' I asked trying to make him feel more inclined to come back with me, it was getting dark and the world would feel even more cold and alone if I had to walk back alone as in the black of night everything seemed crueller and longer to get to.

'No…nothing can warm my soul…I stay out here for hours lately thinking about anything that can cross my mind…' I looked down on his face from where I was standing in the fading light. His face was straight, un-emotionless, lonely, depressed, so many emotions I could read on his face like one of those books I buried my head in every night. He was a sad looking young man who seemed as if a Dementor had recently attacked him…tearing his soul apart piece by lonely piece.

'I'll stay out here with you then…' I said not wanting to leave him; I just couldn't do that to anyone who needed a friend. He looked up at me and nodded 'Suit yourself; I won't say much…' he nuzzled his head into his shoulder and turned away from me. I felt like he didn't want me there, or wanted me there but, didn't want to bore me with anything he had to say. He's such a strange individual at times but right now he was like a wounded lion after a battle, too tired to carry on and nothing to go on with.

'George…' just as I went to ask if he was okay I heard someone walking towards us, the mushing of wet, cold and icy grass was quite a distinct noise. George sat up and leaned against the trunk of the Oak tree. The shadow was very hard to see due to the lack of the light. I got my wand out of my pocket and held it steadily in front of me 'Lumos.' I said and the tip of the wand lit up.

'Hermione…' said the voice I knew only as Ron's. He walked closer and went to put his hand out but, looked at the ground, his hair was messy, his face with bits of lip stick smeared on it, his eyes didn't meet mine at all, his jacket had long hairs on it I recognised only as Lavender's.

'What do you want…?' I asked pissed off and begged myself not to cry. 'I wanted to officially break up with you.' He said softly and somewhat calmly…

'A bit late ain't it Ron?' said George who Ron didn't even see. 'What the fuck are you doing here?' he said blinking a few times to see who was near the oak tree.

'Comforting her…you're a jerk Ronald Weasley, you could've had the decency to break up with her before doing anything with that slut Lavender!' he was angry, he stood up 'Have some respect for women, learn something from dad, Harry, our brother or anyone else. 'A bit hard for someone like you to talk...' He said snarling back and George backed down.

'I don't need this shit from you George, Hermione; we're officially over… Just, go have fun with your new boyfriend.' 'MY NEW BOYFRIEND?' I shouted 'YOU GOT A FUCKING NEW GIRLFRIEND BEFORE YOU GOT RID OF ME RONALD! BLOODY HELL WHY CAN'T YOU BE NICE TO ME AFTER ALL THESE YEARS!' he gave me the finger and turned around and stormed off into the darkness, I stood in disbelief as to what had just happened. I didn't even turn around to face George, I just kept standing where I was…

_I watched Hermione stand there in the knee high grass, she was dead still and quiet, her knees were quivering, her hand was shaking so much her wand fell straight out of her hand._

_She then just fell to her knees and began crying, bawling her eyes out. 'HE'S SUCH A PRICK!' I walked over to her and knelt beside her and gave her a hug, she put her hands on my arms. 'Let go! Please just let me be!' I knew she was just angry. I never let go._

_'You can cry to me…' I apparated us to her bedroom and sat beside her on her bed, her arms wrapped around my neck, I knew if I let go she'd feel more alone, sad and any other feeling you feel when someone tears your heart out like it's nothing and never was._

_'Why is life so cruel…?' she asked when she finally stopped crying. She was still shaking in a heap and I tried me best to comfort her 'If it wasn't it wouldn't be called life.' She looked up and grinned at me and put her arms around my neck 'Thank you, thank you so much.' She said softly but, loud enough for my ears to hear it. 'No problem…'_

I'd never seen this part of George before, he was so deep and comforting, the George I knew was funny, sarcastic, smart-ass, charming, and charismatic and everything related to being a real funny guy. Yet beneath that was a lonely young man with a very sad life currently and was too busy with everyone else to worry or take care of him-self…

We sat on my bed, the pale pink walls looked orange in the faint light of my book lamp, and the shadows of all my belongings were along the walls like paintings, the window was a bit open so the drapes were moving in the breeze like ball gowns moving across the floor like they were dancing. The bears and stuffed animals I'd had for so long stared at us intently and I began to feel slightly better.

'George thanks again…' I said looking in his pale blue eyes, because it was darker now his pupils were wider which made him look cute. 'WHY'D I S-I MEANT THINK THAT GOD Hermione!' 'Anytime…' 'I can help you too if you want…' I said giving him a reassuring nod. 'I don't know if I can be helped…' he said looking at the floor. 'I can try can't I?' he looked up and gave me a smile 'Yeah you can try…'

It was 9, we hadn't had dinner, and we weren't even hungry. 'I better go to bed then…' he said getting up off my bed. 'Goodnight.' He walked towards the door 'Goodnight.' He said turning around as he twisted the door knob and closed it behind him.

I went and showered and got ready for bed, I pulled back the multi-coloured flowers sheet covers and closed my eyes and thought about George and wondering how I could help him… I slowly drifted to sleep and let my dreams take over…

_I was lying in bed, across the hallway from Hermione staring at the ceiling. 'Freddie why'd you have to be taken away… Angela's probably completely lost without you, why can't you take me…' I thought to myself over and over. I tossed and turned trying to get comfortable, I couldn't sleep._

_I began thinking of the day that had been and my mind turned to that golden haired brunette known only as Hermione. How could someone be filled with so much kindness, brains and talent and be thrown away like some old rag doll by my own brother… she reached out to me today in a way no one else has since Fred died…_

_Why am I thinking about her so much for? She's not my girlfriend; she certainly wouldn't be ready for it if I did say anything… I feel so right with her…her warm hugs, her trusting facial expressions, her will to move on, her unbelievable kindness and beauty that I can't believe the Gods put into one person…_

_Why am I bothering? I wouldn't stand a chance with her anyway… she's too smart for a dumb fuck like me. Sure I had enough money to move out of home from the business…but I can't be alone, not until my life's on track and I don't feel like killing myself…_

_I began to feel sleepy and closed my eyes and drifted off into my dreams… I was dreaming of the war again, Fred was beside me fighting those death eaters when one put the killing curse on him, he stopped moving, his face went pale, he fell to the ground and the death eater was smiling 'Your turn to die George!' he said before I saw a green light and I woke up covered in sweat, my ear was killing me…_

_My heart was pounding, my breathe rattling, sweat dripping down my neck, my whole body shaking, I lied down trying to calm down and I heaved in and out feeling terrified._

_My ear that I had lost while protecting Harry... The ear that was able to be regrown thanks to a potion from one of mum's cousins who was very good at herbology and anything to do with plants as well as an excellent potions master._

_I felt guilt that I didn't try to save Fred but, how was I to know?_

The next morning was Sunday, Mrs Weasley had made breakfast but, I didn't eat. I went into George's room to wake him up, he was all sweaty and tossing and turning 'George…' I put my hand gently on his arm and he woke up, his eyes wide in terror, he was panting for breathe and he looked like he had seen a ghost. He gripped my arm so tightly I thought it was going to fall off.

For a second I swear he wasn't breathing…his dreams were torturing him like Harry's used to torture him till the end of Voldemort's reign of terror.

'George are you okay?' I asked worried. 'Sure…' I didn't believe him… He blinked and I tried to calm him down, his room was clean for someone so depressed… when I was depressed my room piled up till I was fine again to fix it. It was just dusty so naturally I began sneezing. 'Bless you.' He said.

'George, when you're ready to go somewhere come to my room I want to try help you.' He stared at me and nodded 'Give me an hour…' he said before putting his hands through his hair and resting back on his pillow staring at the ceiling. I ran my hand across his head gently. 'I'll help you.' 'You can try…but you may fail…' he said staring at me as if he was on his dying bed.

'Alright.' I got up and walked out of his room and closed the door behind me, went into my room and lied on the bed reading 'Black Beauty' a story my mother read to me as a child which I still loved till this day.

An hour later he was standing in my doorway 'I need a long walk…' he said with his hand on my door frame and leaning against it 'He's so cute!' I thought again 'GOD DAMN IT Hermione WHAT IS WITH YOU!' I looked at him reassuringly 'I can help you.' I got off my bed and followed him down the stairs. On the way down we saw Ron and Lavender snogging on the lounge. 'You're revolting.' I said storming out the front door slamming it, George shook his head at Ron and followed behind me and ran to catch me, and I heard his pace increase on the gravel so the crunches under his shoes were louder.

'Hermione forget about him… he's not worth it.' He said putting his arm around my shoulder. I looked towards the house and he turned around too and put his index fingers in a cross 'BE GONE BEASTS!' he said which made me laugh.

He put his arm over my shoulder 'Come on then.' I walked in the direction he was walking and began talking. 'So do you feel better?' he asked looking at me with full eye contact. 'Don't worry about me George…it's you I'm more concerned about…' I said looking at him, his hair was bright in the sun and it shone like a lion's mane, for some reason a lion seemed to represent George, red mane, and the symbol of Griffindor was a lion and he had a lot of courage.

We walked along the property till we got near the forest and sat on the edge of it. I sat down on the grass and he did as well as we had do the day before. 'So…' he began to say 'George… I want to know more about your problems…' 'I'm glad we've got hours…' he replied, staring at the sky as he did.

_I felt somewhat more comfortable talking to her; she sat up beside me against a tree and gave me her full attention. 'What's wrong?' she asked and I began to tell her_

_'Ever since Fred died I haven't been able to have the same lust for life, the same excitement the same interest, all of that is gone… Sure Freddie and I had other people in our lives but, he was always there when I had a problem, he was like me and we could bounce ideas off each other… our other friends didn't understand us, nowhere near as insane and we helped each other out with dates, and we were never alone… Ginny has Harry, Ron had you and Harry, our older brothers have had their own lives from home and there was just Fred and I really… without him I don't find going out fun, I don't trust many girls because of what I've had done to me and they always preferred Fred…'_

_I told her about past girlfriends who had cheated on me or preferred my twin over me to begin with, how he was mainly friends with everyone and I felt like a side kick when he was around although Fred didn't want me to feel like that, how I felt as if I didn't matter to anyone because everyone had their own lives except for me… only Hermione and I didn't have anyone but, I felt as alone as ever. I was twenty years old and spent every night alone, every night wishing for death or for love… Hermione stared at me intently like she was going to cry. I was a wreck all I had in my life was my family, her, Harry in some ways and the business. I was rich in my own right but, poor in many other aspects…_

_'What's the point of a life you can't share with anyone?' I said to Hermione and she put her arms around me and rested her head on my shoulder. She was twisting weeds in her hands and dropped them. 'Oh George, if I had known how you were feeling ages ago I would've taken more of an interest, I was so busy with my own life I never took any notice of anyone else's please forgive me…'_

I got up and knelt close beside him and hugged him, I felt so bad for ignoring him when he needed someone, when he needed someone to take care of him. He was a dear friend and I'd hate to lose him.

_Why would I need to forgive her? She had been nothing but, good to me, she was an angel and not even she knew it I thought…_

_'I'm a worthless waste of space anyway Hermione…' 'No you're not, to me you're not, you're a gentle soul George, if only someone had enough love to give you…' I felt warm inside yet sad, because I knew I could never have someone as good as Hermione._

_The cloud crowded the sky and pushed the blue out of it and it began to rain, Hermione provided a shield from the rain using a charm from one the many books she had read and we walked back to the Burrow knowing that even though we were alone we still had each other._

_When we walked in the door Ginny was standing in the doorway with a massive smile on her face._

_She waved then began jumping up and down, she was wearing a yellow dress, her hair was out and something was glinting on her finger. As we got closer she yelled 'I'M ENGAGED!' _


	3. Close But, Distant With Mixed Emotions

This is the third chapter, in this chapter George and Hermione grow closer, yet distant, there's fluff and stuff so enjoy. Well if you do enjoy then enjoy it if not well you don't, review if you want thanks for reading.

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We reached the door way, the rain heavier, our feet drenched, the gravel beneath our feet crunching against it. George and I both gave Ginny and Harry a hug and said congratulations. George shook Harry's hand and said 'You have my approval, you always have matey.' 'Cheers.' Harry said back.

'Well done Ginny, how did he propose?' he asked Dad two weeks ago, he asked me near the Shrieking shack when we went there the other day. I hugged her 'I'm so happy for you.'

'When do you plan on getting married?' I asked trying to be happy as possible for them both. 'A month from now.' Said Harry, his eyes couldn't keep off Ginny, he loved her so much and god was I happy for him. He put his hands on her shoulders 'We've picked out a house in Godric's Hollow.' He said beaming with pride. 'It's a beautiful house you should see it Hermione and George.'

I wrapped my arms around the both of them 'I wish you the best.' I said and then Ron entered the room holding Lavender's hand and I felt like punching the both of them. Lavender had her hair in a ponytail but no matter what she did with it she reminded me of a sheep. Ron's face was covered in lipstick…again

George, Harry, Ginny and I turned to look at them both, Lavender was trying so hard not to giggle and Ron seemed so happy…happier than he ever seemed to be with me. I felt my heart miss a beat and my fist clench and Harry grabbed my sleeve on my coat, pulling me back in case I did go to attack the bimbo.

'Lav and I have decided to move into an apartment in London. We're going to be engaged eventually and married. Working for George has allowed me to save up money enough to start rent and so on and Lavender has her own clothing store so we're ready to start our lives.' He said barely taking notice of me. 'Good job Ron…' said Harry giving him a disapproving look through his glasses that Ron shrugged off.

'Ron, maybe you should've…' began Harry but, I cut him off 'Ron, I'm glad you're leaving, I'm glad and I hope I never have anything to do with you ever again. As for you Lavender next time you decide to steal someone's boyfriend tell him to break up with their current girlfriend and save a lot of hurt and pain…' my eyes were edged with tears, my heart was beating, I felt too hot in my clothes like I was boiling and I felt my face going red with fury.

The fluffy haired daft dingbat stared at me like she was going to explode like a volcano. 'Well maybe you shouldn't go out with guys who have their hearts on someone else…' she turned to Ron 'Won-Won…' she said turning to him and putting her arms around his neck playing with his hair. 'Can I have a kiss…?' she said pouting like a stupid little puppy, well she was a bitch so it worked. Ron put his face to hers and the snogging began…

Ginny and Harry looked at each other with an eye brow raised and shook their heads, Harry saw how I was just staring into space just looking at them.

Harry grabbed my hand from my side and turned me around 'Let's go upstairs.' We all went upstairs, tripping on the stair rug that we had bought Mrs Weasley for Christmas and went to Harry's room to talk.

'So what were you two going to do for the wedding, colours and what not?' I asked trying to seem interested and get my mind off that Lavender bitch. George was lying on Harry's bed and had fallen asleep.

'Harry and I were thinking blue and silver…but, we wanted to talk about the bridesmaids and groomsman which one from each will be the brides maid of honour and the grooms best man.' said Ginny giving quick glances, her orange hair falling on his shoulder as she turned to look at him so that he could help her out. She moved her eyes towards me and he got out of her trance and looked at me.

'What I want to tell you is I want Ron to be my best man and Ginny wants you to be her maid of honour…which means at the wedding you'll need to dance together... just for one dance that's it…like I know Ron's a total dick but, he's my best friend…and you're Ginny's best girly friend so we thought we'd ask you…' I stared at Harry's bright green eyes through his circle glasses and Ginny's pale blue eyes and couldn't help but feel an underlying sense of loyalty to them both. 'I think I can survive one dance.' I said smiling at the happy couple. Harry smiled at Ginny and she leaned back in his arms and he kissed her on the forehead 'You're so special to me…' he said 'You're my everything.' I felt out of place but, at the same time it was sweet.

Ginny soon fell asleep in Harry's arms as the late afternoon came and the fire from downstairs made everyone more sleepy than usual. I sat beside Harry leaning against the side of his bed sitting on the rug. 'Are you okay?' he asked putting his arm around my shoulder.

'Yeah just fine…' he grabbed my hand, Harry was like my brother, he had been there for me since the first year of Hogwarts and he was here with me now. 'I knew Ron was with Lavender for five months before you found out…' he said looking at the ground full of shame and sadness. 'I wanted to tell you but, I thought Ron would've told you, I told him to tell you the minute he told me. I was angry at him for days but, he never did anything. When I saw you guys together it was harder to say anything… I'm so sorry Hermione…' I looked at him and gave him a small smile 'It's not your fault or your problem Harry Potter forget about it.'

'I knew it was a long time by the way he was snogging her, how she was looking at him, how he was looking at her…how he was more secretive lately, his kisses told me something was wrong, he didn't hold me so tight. The signs were there I just didn't want to believe them… then it happened. I'm such an idiot.' I put my head on Harry's shoulder 'You and Ginny are perfect for each other, I wish I had someone perfect for me…' I said looking at the floor, scraping the mat with my finger nails.

'Hey…' he said looking into my eyes deeply 'You will find someone for you, someone who will make you feel like the only one in the world… just Ron wasn't the one…' I hugged him, avoiding Ginny so I didn't crush her. 'You're my best friend Harry…' 'I know, you're my best friend too and you always will be, except Ginny, she's higher than anyone else in my life.' He said smiling at the red headed girl lying in his arms like he was holding a new born baby. She looked so comfortable with Harry it made me wish I had someone more and more…

'What were you and George doing these last two days? I noticed you two have become better friends over the last few months, its good you don't have to depend on Ron and me so much.' I looked up at George from the floor. 'He's been hurting Harry…more than anyone realises… he told me not to tell a soul so I can't even tell you…' 'He must really trust you.' He said thinking as he focused on Crookshanks staring in the doorway; he was stalking around looking for field mice and came over for a quick pat before running off.

'Yeah he does… I feel so sorry for him Harry.' 'I do too…losing anyone is hard…' I knew Harry knew this more than anyone, his parents, his godfather, his father's friends, Cedric died in front of him and so many other people we had lost at Hogwarts. 'You learn to live with it, but it doesn't mean you think about them less and less till they disappear out of your life completely. I was glad to have a friend like Harry he had so much wisdom from his life experiences that talking to him was so easy, I could tell him anything and he'd still listen.

'Are you sure you don't mind dancing with Ron for one dance?' he asked looking at me like he wanted the most honest answer from me 'I don't mind Harry, five minutes of my life I'll never get back but, I'll do it for you…' he hugged me 'Thanks Hermione, you really are the best witch…besides Ginny. We laughed together and then Mrs Weasley called out 'DINNER!' from downstairs and her voice echoed up the tower walls. Harry woke Ginny up and they left together and I sat beside George on Harry's bed and shook his shoulder. His hair was all over his face, I wanted to touch it but I think George would find that weird if I touched his hair to wake him up.

'George, dinner.' He woke up 'What time is it?' he asked 'Six thirty I assume.' I said looking around for a clock which I realised was covered by books sitting in front of it. 'I must've been asleep for a few hours.' 'Yeah you were.' I waited for him to come with me and we went down the stairs and sat at the dinner table. The table was so long but, thin at the same time so we all sat really close, Ginny, Harry, George and I all sat on one side whilst Mr and Mrs Weasley sat opposite us. They were such a close family, I always wanted a big family but sadly mum and dad only had me.

Lavender and Ron were going out to dinner and had left at six without saying a word to anyone, we didn't realise this until Mrs Weasley said something.

'So Harry, I was talking to the priest, and booked in the 24th of October, one month from now.' said Mr Weasley 'I'm so glad Ginny met someone who wasn't lazy, up themselves and respected us even we aren't the richest family.' Harry and Ginny smiled at each other 'Thanks, mum and dad.' Said Ginny and Harry nodded because his mouth was full but nothing could wipe that smile off his face.

George left the table before anyone else 'George has been quiet lately.' Mrs Weasley said 'I was talking to him the other day, he didn't want to let me in; I'm so worried about him Arthur.' Mr Weasley stood up from his chair and walked over to the sink where she was standing. 'I try to talk to him but, he just says he's fine…he'll get through I worry about him a lot.' He said hugging his wife and kissing her forehead. 'I love you Molly.' He said smiling 'I love you Arthur.' Ginny looked at her parents and smiled and held Harry's hand. 'Us in thirty years.' Harry whispered and we all giggled quietly.

'Don't worry Mister and Mrs Weasley, Hermione will look after him, he's been talking to her.' Molly was intrigued 'Thank you Hermione, what is wrong with Georgie, I know Freddie dying has hit him really hard, it's hit all of us hard and we don't want to lose him…' I was tied to my promise of not to tell anyone what George had told me 'He said not to tell anyone but, don't worry Mrs Weasley I'll keep an eye on him.' I said giving her a reassuring nod; I just hoped I could keep my promise.

After dinner Ginny and I helped Mrs Weasley clean the kitchen and tidy up the house while Harry and Mr Weasley went and got some more fire wood. Ginny and I then went upstairs to her room to spy on Ron when he got home. Her room was violet and was messy, books, clothes and shoes everywhere. We sat beside the window and moved the drapes away so we could see down to the front of the Burrow.

'Why are we spying I don't want to see them snogging again Ginny…' she looked at me with a grin, these Weasley's are all cheeky. 'I put puking pestles in his chocolates which should take affect when he and that bitch get home.' I thought of the image of them getting home and throwing up everywhere. I laughed and hugged Ginny 'You're a bloody genius!' we sat and waited, eating chocolate which Ginny appeared to have a never ending supply of. We heard footsteps coming up the hallway, thumping the wood like a rabbit. The shadow got closer and we turned over our shoulders and who else but Harry came in the door way. 'What are you two up to? Too many forms off to in that sentence…' he said laughing. He walked over to where we were sitting and sat beside Ginny.

I spoke quietly in case the head Weasleys came through the door 'Ginny put puking pestles in Ron's chocolate, which should take affect when he gets home…' Harry kissed Ginny on the cheek 'Genius baby.' I smiled at them and wished I had something as good as they did… we talked for a while then saw head lights coming up the drive way. 'Harry turn off the light.' Harry ran to the wall and flicked the switch and sat near the window with Ginny and I.

We saw Ron put his arms around Lavender and then as Ginny said he spewed all over Lavender, she began spewing on him which meant she too had some chocolate. Our eyes opened wider with astonishment and surprise because we didn't think it would've been that funny.

'Oh-ho!' Harry said laughing and we all tried to keep our laughter down, they were covered in each other's puke. 'Oh my God how romantic.' I said dying of laughter; I hadn't laughed that hard in ages. We were crying, literally rolling on the floor laughing. Ginny lifted the window a bit so we could hear them talking as they got out of the car. 'RON! I FEEL SO SICK!' said Lavender with vomit all down her dress and holding her stomach 'LAV, WHAT'D WE EAT I FEEL LIKE…' he threw up on the grass and we were still laughing.

They ran towards the house holding their mouths and banging on the door downstairs. We heard the door open and heard Mrs Weasley losing her shit worried as to what had happened. We gave each other high fives and waited for Ron to walk by the door. 'That was classic Ginny.' I said 'Well done my wicked witch.' said Harry kissing her.

He came up after a shower and a potion Mrs Weasley must've given them 'Hermione you're a bloody bitch.' He said standing in the door way. I pointed at me and mouthed 'What the fuck…?'

'It was me Ron.' Said Ginny and Harry just laughed. 'You're all a bunch of gits.' Ron said storming off up the hallway and up to his room on the floor above. 'Someone's not happy.' said Ginny looking up at the ceiling. I felt sick, for some reason even seeing Ron covered in vomit didn't make me feel good enough, I still felt betrayed and wanted him back, but I didn't' have the mindset to take him back.

We all went to sleep last night mostly happy that we had got some sort of revenge on Ron, in the morning I told George about it and he said it was a brilliant plan, he went to work at 6am to open the shop for the Monday rush, Ron went to work with Harry, I had been working in the Ministry of Magic but, it was too stressful and I was getting annoyed with it so I opened up my own book store around the corner from George's. My store also had a joint wand repair section so I could give more of a service to my customers, particularly younger year students who had broken them or cracked them, if broken completely they'd be replaced, if it had a crack in it I tried to fix it.

A lot of people loved buying books and I tried to ship in as many as possible, I loved books and I love nothing more than to help people find a good read. Occasionally I'd be called into the ministry to help with the Aura department with Harry. Other than that life was easy going. After work I'd buy any groceries Mrs Weasley didn't have, Ginny was taking the year off before she went back to Hogwarts to finish her education which would be next September.

On the weekend Harry took Ron and George to go look for suits, Ginny took me and Mrs Weasley to go look at wedding dresses and bride's maid's dresses. After looking around we found this beautiful dress, it was flowing at the bottom, had a lace over layer with silver hearts around the top of the skirt and the connection to the top. The dress was silk on the top and embroidered completely with lace, the shoulders were puffy and the sleeves were lace over some soft material I couldn't remember the name of.

She looked like a princess, the veil was long and Mrs Weasley was almost in tears. 'Ginny dear, you look so beautiful…' we found a nice pair of heels that weren't too high so she could dance comfortably with them. She put the dress on order and because the theme was blue and silver we set out to find some blue dresses.

We walked around for a while till I stumbled upon the perfect dress. 'What about this one Ginny?' her eyes lit up 'Oh I wish I was wearing it.' She said laughing. This particular beautiful dress we found was exactly what we were looking for, with a satin belt that had a bow on it above the skirt part, pleats all around, flowing, royal blue, V-neck but not too revealing and sleeves that ended in a V-shape on the hands like little arrows, I tried it on with some silver heeled sandals.

'Beautiful Hermione, beautiful.' said Mrs Weasley giving me a hug. On the shoulders of the dress there were satin flowers, I couldn't describe how beautiful it was. We ordered three of the dresses and it met our budget exactly. We paid half and then told the clerk we'd pay half the next week.

We returned to the Burrow via Floo powder, everyone was sworn to secrecy of the dressing for that day which made it more of a surprise on the wedding day.

The weeks went by, George and I talked more and more and after work during the week when I was at my book store I'd go see George and help him lock up the shop. I began to feel something when we spoke but, I wasn't quite sure what it was, he talked to me every time he had a problem, he'd wake me up in the middle of the night if he couldn't sleep and we'd sit their talking. He was an intriguing individual but I couldn't help but wonder if anything would come of it…

_I was locking the door on the shop, my feet kicking the snow off the step so I didn't slip over. Ah how quickly Fridays arrive. The cold breeze touched my face and I loved it, winter was coming, my favourite season. I used my wand to reinforce the lock. I felt a hand on my shoulder and I turned around. 'Hermione didn't expect to see you here.' I said laughing, knowing I'd see her on her book shop day. I put my gloves on and my scarf and stepped down to her level on the street._

_'How are you?' she asked as I turned around and walked with her back to her shop to go home via the Floo powder chimney she put in. 'I'm okay I guess…' I was sort of okay, I still had dreams of Fred dying, I still had dreams of being alone and I still didn't have anyone to love. 'How are you?' I asked back before I trailed off into silence and came off as a rude bastard._

_'I'm alright, over Ron, but seeing him…it's just difficult.' She said kicking a mound of snow in front of her and looking at the ground._

_'Well he's moving out of home next week so least you won't have to see him as much.' I said putting my arm around her shoulder and resting it on her red coat._

_'I don't know how do you mend a broken heart?' she asked 'You don't till you find someone new…' I replied. She was so beautiful, as she grew older each day her face looked less like a child and more like a young woman, I couldn't ignore it. I stopped walking when I remembered something._

_'Hey I was thinking…why don't we ride home?' 'I don't have my broom.' She replied. 'I got mine.' I went back to the shop and unlocked the door and grabbed my broom I barely used, I bought an old Nimbus 2000 like Harry's old he had before it got smashed up by the Whomping Willow at school. I had bought it a month after Fred and I opened the store and used some charms on it to make it go as fast as possible._

_'Just hold on.' I got on and then she did and she put her arms around my waist and didn't let go, I paused for a few moments, something stopped me but I didn't know why… I ignored the feeling and I pushed off and we entered the sky in a flash._

_'George aren't you going a little fast!' she called out 'Fast? This isn't fast, this is fast!' I put a charm on the broom to make it go faster and she held me tighter. 'GEORGE SLOW DOWN BEFORE YOU KILL US BOTH!' I heard the fear in her voice, it was quivering, and I felt her head against my back. 'PLEASE SLOW DOWN I DON'T WANT TO SLIDE OFF!' I slowed down to normal speed. 'YOU'RE CRAZY GEORGE WEASLEY! YOU THINK THIS IS FUNNY?' I didn't think it was funny scaring her, going fast made me feel like I was on the edge, I felt most alive but, I didn't mean to scare her and I didn't want her to think I found it funny._

_'I'm sorry…are you okay…?' I said flying a little lower. 'Yes…just please George don't do it again…please.' I nodded, I then realised one of the buttons on my coat near my neck popper off and the cold air went down my neck into my jacket and made me shiver._

_'I won't I promise.' I saw the Burrow and I went down gently for landing. When we touched the ground I hugged her 'Look I'm sorry do you forgive me?' I asked her 'I forgive you George.' She gave me a brief hug in return and went inside._

_As I walked upstairs to my room I saw her door was closed and went to knock when I heard her talking 'GINNY YOUR BROTHER IS CRAZY! I thought he was going to kill me! He's beyond help, he's just insane…I've tried helping him but, he's turning into a lost cause…' _

_I put my hand down and just stood there for a few moments. I felt my knees trembling and I walked to my room and locked the door, collapsed on my bed, I saw a Doors CD sitting on my stereo so I used my wand put it in and played it 'People are strange…when you're a stranger, faces look ugly when you're alone…women seem wicked when you're unwanted…when you're strange, face go out of the rain…no one remembers your name when you're strange…' I collapsed into my pillow and gripped it, pulling at it, breaking down, and shaking all over… I put a silencing charm on my whole room so no sound got out and no one could hear in 'I'M DONE, I'VE HAD IT, I'M GOING TO KILL MYSELF!' I through books onto the floor and through things around my room and I was just so angry. What was I becoming? What was I doing? What was I going to do?_

_I remembered tomorrow was Ginny and Harry's wedding and I knew I would bring everyone down if I did it now…I planned to do it the following night and I felt as if life as I knew it was slipping more and more from my grip… I thought Hermione wouldn't care if I did it either…or would she. I ended the thought 'I DON'T CARE ANYMORE!' I yelled and cried into my pillow until I fell asleep…_


	4. Blood Is Thicker Than Water

**I'm so proud of this chapter, because it's the longest one and I reckon the best so far... review if you want, in this chapter well basically there's a wedding and George snaps. Thanks for reading :)**

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_The sun's rays came streaming through my maroon coloured drapes as it shone across my floor in a golden line, cutting like a knife through my room one side was light…one side was dark… I could see from where I lay on my pillow the extent of the mess I had made, CD's on the floor, papers everywhere, books scattered like massive stones being thrown at random off a cliff, broken glass from frames… the list went on… I felt the warm blanket on my skin, the sheet was dragging on the floor near a spilt over glass of Jack Daniels. I rolled over from my side to flat on my back and stared at the ceiling. 'I wish I never woke up…' I mumbled to myself with a dead pan expression, I felt distant, cut off and more alone than I had felt in a long time…I went to get up but I felt myself aching, my head ached, my arms and legs felt like they'd been crushed…they had been by life and my back felt weighed down by 100 tonnes of depression. 'I just want to lie down and die…' I thought to myself. My bed was so soft I sunk into it like I wanted to sink six feet under into a grave…_

_I forced myself up with my arms and pushed up with my hands and my bag and legs followed. I moved my legs over the edge of the bed and sat on the side of my bed and ran my hands through my hair, it was scraggly, rough, knotty and oily from not brushed or washed it for two days…or three._

_'Better get this place tidied up…Can't imagine why I fuckin' bother but why the fuck not!' I muttered a spell that would make everything go back to its usual place. I managed to find the strength and energy to stand up and almost fell to the floor from being light headed. I regained my balance under my feet and managed to grab my bath robe off the hook on the back of my bedroom door and walked to the bathroom slowly moving… I knew there was a wedding in an hour but, I wasn't in a rush…I turned on the taps, took off my clothes and put them in the wash basket, stepped into the shower and washed my hair. The warmth of the shower on a cold morning was unbelievable, I didn't want to get out, and I shaved using my mirror in the shower and got out and walked back down the hall to my room. I entered my room and collapsed back on my bed, I listened to myself breathing, watching my chest go up and down._

_I had forgotten that I hadn't disabled the silencing charm I had used on my room for last night when I trashed the place from my violent anger. I got dressed in front of the mirror, buttoning up my shirt, putting on my tie and my suit, I sat on the end of my bed and put on my socks and shoes and stared in the mirror. I zoned out and imagined myself tying a noose to the ceiling and hanging myself and watching my reflection in the mirror as I died… I got chills down my spine and zonked back into reality again… I had to focus on what today meant to everyone, I didn't want to be the talk of the day nor any other day, this was Ginny and Harry's day and they wanted me to be there, they wanted me to celebrate their wedding day with them and so I would…whether or not I was going to enjoy it on not was a different story all together…_

_I was observing the suit I was wearing while I sat in front of the mirror. The suit was black, the tie was blue, the shirt pants were comfortable and I just stared at my reflection. I could tell by the look in my own eyes I wasn't a happy soul, I looked like death warmed up, somewhat looking stoned from all those hours of sleep deprivation. My hair in previous days had been horrible and unkempt to the point where I could smell it. I began talking to myself…_

_'Take a good look Georgie boy, this is the last time you'll see yourself in this room.' I turned and looked over towards my draw set and saw my wand sitting there. 'I shall take that…' I stood up and picked it off the table, I put my wand in my pocket, I remembered a not I had written some time ago about wanting to commit suicide and left anything anyone wanted to know as to why in there, I dated it with today's date, the 24__th__ of October, and put the note in my pocket, I looked around my room to see if I would need anything else. My room was dark with the blinds closed, I didn't see the point in opening something I wouldn't see again so I walked around looking at everything and observing every inch of my room._

_I walked across the wooden floor and proceeded to walk over towards the door, I turned around and took one last look at my room, leaving it the way it was, well preserved and untouched by anyone else but me. I then closed the door behind me with a small bang as the wood of the door hit the wooden frame and locked into place. I stood outside my door and rested my back and shoulders against it. I put my head up towards the ceiling staring at the cream walls and thinking about what it was I was going to do tonight. 'Have pity on my soul Fred…' I put my head back down to its usual level._

_I stared across a metre looking directly at Hermione's room and realised this would be the last day I'd see her, after all she tried to do for me this is how I repaid her… I hope she'd understand why… It'd also be the last time I saw anyone in my family for that matter. I'd never live to see Harry and Ginny's child, never live to see Hermione finally being happy again and never to see another beautiful sunset. I was so lost in my thoughts that when dad's voice boomed from downstairs I jumped._

_'BOYS DOWN STAIRS!' called dad from the foot of the stairs, his voice echoed and bounced off the walls all the way up the Burrow. I remembered the wedding was going to be on soon I walked down the hallway, my shoes making little noise except a small squeak because the leather was new. I walked down the stairs, the wood dark brown wood creaking, and the soft rug under my shoes made me feel as if I was on a cloud. I walked past Fred's room on the way down and walked over to the door and opened it. It was completely empty and cold, it wasn't literally empty, it was just soulless before he had died it was full of life. I didn't think he's death would affect me so much but, it affected my entire life. I closed the door and stared at the ground. 'I'm gonna join you buddy…' I said to myself as I put my hand on the door and felt the smooth wood. I knew Ginny would've wanted him at the wedding but, life had its own plans and ruined any chance of that._

_I walked down the stairs till I reached the foot of the stairs to see dad standing in a silver tweed suit and the shiniest shoes I'd ever seen him wear. He looked very old fashioned but, very formal at the same time. Mum came rushing through 'Sorry boys, I have to help Ginny!' she was wearing a black dress with vibrant flowers on it, I barely ever saw mum all dressed up she was mostly in warm clothes she had knitted but, for her daughters special day, she wore something special. She disappeared up the stairs quick as a flash and then Dad turned towards us._

_Harry, Ron and Neville Longbottom, our friend from Hogwarts, were standing there tending to Harry, making sure his tie was on straight and that he had a proper shave and that his hair wasn't too long as he was getting ready for his wedding day to fully commence._

_'Good job mate.' I said shaking his hand, my hair getting in my eyes, so I had to move it out of the way so he could see what I was saying came from the heart. I was really proud of him; he was a loyal guy with a big heart and a hero to the Wizarding world. He treated Ginny with all the respect she deserved and gave her all the love he possibly could. He had said to me many times if she was to ever leave him, he'd surely die too. I couldn't imagine anyone else marrying my sister._

_'Need a haircut don't you George?' asked Neville who noticed my hair was growing down to my shoulders like it had been in previous years. 'I like it long…' I said looking in the mirror above the fire place. I liked long hair better than short hair it suited me better and to be honest, really I just couldn't give a fuck about getting it cut, I shaved everyday but having long hair didn't bother me. If it got any longer I'd probably give it a trim but, Jim Morrison and those rock stars I admired always donned long hair so why shouldn't I? That and it gave me an excuse not to look at myself in the mirror anymore, I couldn't I didn't think I was worth any ounce of life I was given, I felt guilty for not helping Freddie when I knew maybe it was impossible for me but, I could've tried._

_I felt like getting drunk there and then but, instead had to stand around with Dad talking about what we had to do today. Everything was set up outside, the reception tent; the chairs for the wedding ceremony, the priest had just come through our chimney which would be an odd sight for anyone not just muggles._

_'Okay, let's go to the alter.' said Dad and we all cheered Harry and patted him on the back. He was so excited, we all had the same suits just his had a silver waist band and he had a better suit than ours with robes to distinguish him from the rest of us. He had paid for all our suits himself for the rental place and for most of the wedding; he didn't want mum and dad to pay for the whole wedding because he didn't want to take anything but their daughter away. Harry wasn't selfish and he made it known. Mum and dad were happy that Harry insisted on paying for it, he helped pay for a lot around here and we all pitched in. Mum and dad said they couldn't ask for anything more in their lives._

_We walked from the house over to the alter that had been put in our garden under an arch way on a white plat form surrounded by flowers, everything was white except for the array of flowers that surrounded the arch, all colours of the rainbow were on it. The chairs were covered in white satin and had bows tied to each row. So many people were there, professors, students from our time at Hogwarts 'I can't wait to see Luna.' Said Neville, Luna was Neville's paired bridesmaid and they were now engaged she was a bridesmaid with Hermione and Lavender at Ron's request…that Hermione, I would imagine was completely pissed off with. Ron barely talked to me; he only really talked to Harry these days because most of us had shunned him for what he did to Hermione._

_'Good job mate.' Said Ron patting Harry on the back as he was standing next to me on the right 'He better do a good job at looking after our sister…' I said looking at the sky 'Yeah.' Replied Ron looking out in the distance to see if he could see them coming, the priest stood in front of Harry, Dad had gone to get Ginny to give her away and we stood there. It wasn't so cold as I thought it'd be but, living in England you get used to it. I was happy for them both but, deep in my own mind I was silently ripping myself a part, I was trying to stop it from taking over me now but, my own sadness was bringing me down, I wanted to be there, but at the same time I didn't. I didn't want to be there any longer so I promised myself later tonight that I would go and do it._

_After five minutes facing out back to everyone as we were standing at Harry's side, the priest announced the welcoming of the bride and Harry turned around as well did and saw Ginny in her wedding dress, Harry's face was totally focused on his bride-to-be and I could tell he loved her so deeply…following her however was a girl that caught my eye, she had the sides of her hair pulled up and into a pony tail with a silver bow on it, her hair curly and she had the most beautiful smile, the dress she wore stuck to her curves which made her look even more beautiful, it wasn't till she stood closer to us that I realised it was Hermione and my heart sank… I was in love… but I knew I could never have her which made me want to put a dagger in my heart, loving someone was easy, loving something you knew you could never have was hard and soul crushing. It was like someone putting a chocolate cake in front of you and no matter how much you wanted it, it was given away to a five year old and gone in ten seconds flat and eaten with a smile on the child's face from ear to ear._

We stood there watching Harry and Ginny saying their vowels, Harry slid the ring onto Ginny's finger 'You may now kiss your bride.' Said the priest who was smiling, Harry lightly grabbed the end of her veil and lifted it over her head. He put his arms around her back and neck as she did for him and kissed him for at least five seconds, I had tears in my eyes it was so romantic… Everyone cheered so we all clapped and cheered as they went down the aisle arm in arm followed by all of us, everyone was whistling and cheering and waving.

The photographer wanted photos so we stood there with the family as they took photos with Ginny's family and all of us, then one with just the brides maids which was Luna, Lavender and I with Ginny, one's with Harry and the groomsmen and then Harry and Ginny went and took pictures by themselves, the reception began at 4pm so everyone spent all day talking. I made conversation with many of them and then I saw George, he looked handsome but, also scruffy…just his personality was all fucked up… I didn't want to talk to him, I knew the moment I did I'd probably on the verge of crying and then it wouldn't be a good seen. Especially if he became more depressed because of his everlasting sadness but, no matter what I did I couldn't help, rescue or save him. I changed direction and went to find more people to mingle with.

It was hard to walk in grass with heels but, everyone appeared to manage which I found funny because some of the guests had massive heels and were complaining so I had a bit of a laugh at their misery. 'Oh my God Hermione you look beautiful.' Said a few people and I thanked them for their compliments, spoke with some professors and continued till I realised I was walking in circles around people. It was like a really big maze that had to be crossed in many different ways.

_I went to walk up to her but, she walked quickly to go talk to Seamus, Neville and Luna… some people said congratulations on my brother in law and others barely spoke with me because they were mostly younger than I was, I went to go find Percy or Charlie but they were all busy talking to Hogwarts professors, I didn't want to talk in crowds anyway… I tried to socialise but, my anti-social side kicked in I really just wanted to be left to myself; I snuck into the tent and got into the everlasting restocking fridge of booze._

_I took a bottle of Smirnoff and kept it for later, I had light conversations with some people but, I couldn't gel with anyone like I used to, it was like I was invisible or socially retarded. I saw Hermione from the distance and stared for a while, might've looked creepy but, I'm sure no one else could help it, Hermione looked absolutely stunning; I would've told her if she wasn't so into avoiding me…Maybe she had given up on me and wanted to stop talking to me…I could see why but over the last few weeks I actually thought we were getting closer, but I guess I was wrong…_

_As the evening wore on everyone went to the tent and talked for a few hours, it amazed me how much people could spend talking. They seemed to have a never ending stream of things to talk about._

_I was at the head table on the opposite side of Hermione and she avoided all eye contact with me… it made me feel less and less inclined to talk to her. She was having a good time. 'You're a bit quiet George, are you okay?' asked Harry across Ron's shoulder. 'Yeah fine mate…just fine…' I was drinking coke at first but by dinner I was craving alcohol. I just wanted everyone to leave so I could get smashed but, I knew the chances of that were low as all fuck. We had speeches and I sat there staring into space with my mind somewhere else, day dreaming, feeling my wand against my right leg in my pocket. I looked over at Ginny and Harry, they were so happy… I wanted that happiness in my life but, I didn't know what to do…or from whom I could find this thing I knew no longer or even find love._

_I had to dance with Lavender so I was even more annoyed and starting hammering down the Vodka._

_Harry and Ginny's dance was beginning so we walked out standing on the side as 'I'd Love You To Want Me' by Lobo played for their wedding song, I was humming along when it got to the chorus I had to lead Lavender out so I pulled her arm to make her walk faster and caught her off guard. 'Ass hole!' she said loud enough for me to hear but, I shrugged it off. We walked into the middle of the dance floor…_

_She put one hand on my shoulder and the other in my hand 'You son of a bitch…' she whispered. 'Shut your bitchin' mouth…' I snapped back unapologetically to her and she stood on my foot. 'Fuck, if you're gonna be a sister in law I hope I barely have to see you…' she gasped and said nothing else and just stared over at Ron, I saw where she was looking and looked over as well…I looked each time we spun around and saw Hermione…her dress swaying gently, she looked tense, she was barely moving, Ron was uninterested as all hell but tried to be and I was getting tipsy and dizzy from dancing with the dumb bimbo called Lavender. I felt sorry for Hermione, her facial expression read 'Save me…'_

It felt so wrong… dancing with my ex-boyfriend who I currently wanted to rot in the ground; he was not interested in any possible way, didn't even look me in the eyes and kept staring at that bitch.

'Whore!' I was thinking glancing across at Lavender, she had the same dress on but, I purposely made Ginny get her a size bigger than what she really was which she complained about all morning. I never thought I'd hear the end of it, I guess that's what you get when you try to get revenge, it somewhat gets you back…

Being in Ron's grip made me miss him, how we used to be, his cross between blue and green eyes, his scruffy thick red hair, his freckles, his lips that I did like…till that bitch sucked every bit of red out of them by the looks of it, his kindness and most of all his love and friendship which went out the window… I just wished he had told me earlier about what it was he was doing so I could accept it, going behind my back was not an option and he should have known that…

It was in all these thoughts that I realised tears were edging my eyes and I hoped to god he didn't notice, my cheeks felt like they were getting red and my ears were warming up unbelievably quickly. I tried so hard to hold back tears, my throat was choking up, he was looking at his watch every ten seconds and I wanted to kick him in the balls for being such an insensitive jerk from hell. But, what more did I expect, he had moved on with his life and had found someone he wanted to be with, not someone he thought he wanted to be with…

Harry and Ginny looked so caught up in each other, it was sweet, she was resting her head on his shoulder and they were rocking each other to the music. I loved them for being my best friends but, from tonight onwards the Burrow would no longer be their home, they would go home to Godric's Hollow, then leave for their Honeymoon tomorrow morning to go to America. Ginny looked so beautiful in her wedding dress that I could see Mrs Weasley in tears in the background at the head table.

I wished I was Ginny right now, not because she was with Harry but, because she had someone who loved her more than anything in the world… I know we were only eighteen going on nineteen (well soon enough for Ginny) but, I felt like I needed someone in my life.

No one cared they got married so young, it was going to happen anyway why the long wait? During all these thoughts I was interrupted. My movements became an abrupt halt.

Ron let go and walked off and took Lavender off George's hands. I wanted to talk with George but, I was getting too emotional, I wanted to cry but, I didn't want to see anyone. I walked across the dance floor as quickly as possible, holding back tears…

Within this time of walking back to the table I felt someone grab my arm, soft hands, a man's hand…

I turned around and saw George. He was drinking Smirnoff straight from the bottle. He took a swig and skulled some and looked into my eyes and opened his mouth and then began pushing words out of his mouth…or more to the point sounds. His tie was loose, his vest undone, his jacket undone, his collar had a few drops of vodka on it.

'Her-Her…mione… wil…you…dan…with…meh?' I stared at him horrified. He was drunk as a skunk and asking me to dance when I was in absolutely no mood to go out or to be embarrassed by a drunken young man. I stood up straight and put my arms in a stern fold.

'I don't dance with drunks George Weasley…' I said sternly, I didn't want to be with someone while they were drunk, last time I was around Ron when he was drunk he was trying to get me to go to bed with him and embarrassed me in front of his whole family.

'Please…I'l…nev-never…ask…'gain…' he stuttered out, his eyes were distant, he still had his hand on my arm and it was warm, but only because he was drunk and the alcohol was keeping him warm. I stared at him 'Fine…' I pulled his sleeve on his suit and he didn't move.

'What now?' I asked annoyed, he was changing his mind; I know he was drunk but, I was in no mood for translating. He shook his head and looked at the ground, lifted his head up to suck on the vodka bottle. 'You…don't want…too…' he shook his head again, let go of my arm and walked off; he stumbled over to the drinks area, he grabbed a bottle of Jack Daniels out of the fridge and stumbled off out of the tent. With it sculling the Smirnoff… 'That's a sad sight…' I thought and felt worried about him, Luna came over to talk to me and I forgot all about him…

_'That hurt…' I thought to myself, 'Oh well I don't need her! I don't need anyone!' tears were rolling down my cheeks, not even someone, I thought cared about me didn't even give a shit. I was kicking up rocks and dirt, scuffing and scraping my shoes. 'No fucks were given that day.' I said I could hear the river flowing on the other side of me and I heard the trees swaying in the wind, rustling, it was colder now but, I didn't care. I opened the Jack Daniel's bottle when the Smirnoff had run out and kept the bottle as I could refill it later…_

_I stumbled along, making it harder to walk in a straight line; I walked for an hour and half according to my watch and continued till I reached the end of the property. I was thinking to myself the entire time 'You're nothing George, you'll never be anyone, no one will ever love you, no one will ever care about you… if you died tonight no one would care about you…everyone would forget you…just kill yourself.' I repeated these thoughts in my head over and over making me want it more._

_I was walking along a soft bank and my legs gave way from underneath me and I collapsed to the ground rolling down the hill to a flat of grass near the river, it was damp, cold and felt like needles were stabbing in my back but it was just little twigs. The river was in front of me, I was considering drowning myself in the river by weighing myself down, but that was a soft way to die._

_I lied on the bank drinking, feeling the burn of the whiskey as it went down my throat, feeling it run down my throat and into my stomach still burning. It was making me think of swallowing poison… I didn't know what I was doing, what I was going to do or anything, my brain was in shambles, shutting itself down like there was nothing left I could do…I was trapped, a trapped soul in my own body, I didn't care what happened to me, all I wanted to do was die… then and there._

_I got my wand out and held it in my palm. 'WHY WAS I PUT HERE! IF THERE WERE ANY GODS YOU'D SAVE ME FROM MYSELF! YOU'D MAKE MY LIFE WORTH IT AGAIN! YOU'D MAKE MY LIFE MEAN SOMETHING! YOU'D MAKE ME FEEL LIKE I WAS NEEDED…' tears were streaming down my face, my heart was aching, my brain was rattling, my stomach was in knots, my throat felt like it was on fire… I wanted to greet death and I knew I wanted to do it tonight under the mid-autumn sky… _

_I drank the rest of the Jack Daniels bottle; it fell out of my hand with a small thud and I felt like it was going to me… 'Hopefully I'm going to die of alcohol poisoning.' I clenched my fists and breathed and imagined myself doing it, how I wanted and craved it… I saw the river and it was flowing calmly into the night… I wanted to kill myself, now was the time…_

It was 11pm, guests were leaving, everyone was drunk, tipsy or tired or one or two of those. I was tired, had been tipsy earlier but, I didn't want to get dead drunk. Harry and Ginny were leaving, we all made a guard of honour and I noticed everyone in the Weasley family was there except George… 'Where is he?' I thought to myself remembering how I saw him stumbling out of the tent some hours before.

Something was wrong… a car drove Harry and Ginny home because I'm pretty sure they were both drunk and everyone else left, Mr and Mrs Weasley closed down the tent before retiring for bed and didn't even notice George was missing. Everyone was too drunk to notice I wasn't going to the burrow so I went to look for George. 'GEORGE!' I called out and waited for a response… 'Where could he be?' I decided to see the path 'Lumos.' I said and my wand lit up and I went looking for George… it was hard to run in heels but, I kept trying, I didn't know where he was or what he was doing and I felt worried and scared for him…

_I was lying there on the grass, letting it surround me like a cold blanket, thinking, I reached into my pocket, pulled out the note that was in it, feeling the crisp pages in my fingers._

_I unravelled the note that I had written to ensure I had the right one and I put it back into my pocket. As I did my hand brushed past the long thin piece of wood, which was my wand, in my pocket. I slid it out from the inside of my pocket and held it tightly in my right hand._

_My hand was shaking so much; my heart was beating, thumping hard against my chest I thought for a few minutes it was going to leap out like a bat out of hell._

_I was scared, not just of what I was capable of right now, not just by myself but, how I would die… I didn't fine a quick death suitable at all, I didn't think I deserved it, I wanted to feel pain, I wanted to feel dying, I wanted to feel life leaving me…I wanted to do it and I was going to… My breathing rate increased and I was heaving, my chest rising and falling with every heartbeat, this was a big thing for anyone to do…_

_As I lay there in the grass, I felt the cold night air whipping my face, it burned my cheeks with its cold breathe and I moved my head and eyed the bottle of Vodka that was empty lying beside me. I refilled it with a simple charm, picked it up and sculled it. I wanted to be as smashed as possible, I didn't care anymore, I had finally let myself go… as I was staring at the trees across the river I was having flash backs to when Fred died…_

_His face when he fell, the scared look in his eye, it happened in a flash… I remember falling to my knees to help him but having to defend myself against another death eater and saw Fred lying there, not moving, I knew he was dead and instantly broke down…_

_I was thinking, I was going to do the killing curse but I remembered a spell I had read in my 6__th__ year in potions, in the Half-blood prince's text book, who turned out to be Professor Snape… I found it a fitting death; I'd be able to feel pain like I wanted to…feel everything leaving me with this curse._

_I pointed my wand at myself, my hand shaking, my heart thumping louder and louder till I could hear it in my ear, I looked at my wand and closed my eyes… 'Relax George…it'll be over soon…' I knew the words I just had to find them, I cleared my throat, my heart beating louder and louder and then I let it out 'Sectumsempra!' I shouted and felt as if I'd been sliced my 100 tiny swords…_

_I skipped a breathe, my heart pace slowed, I released the grip on my wand and it rolled out of my palm as it fell away from my body. I looked up and stared at the starry night sky, I felt my body bleeding out…I drank more vodka… I saw the blood coming out, making my white shirt go from the light colour it was to a dark coat of liquid, thick red liquid flowing slowly like water, thicker than water… I put my hand on my stomach and felt where the incision was 'Take me God…' I felt it coming through my back, it was warm but made me feel like I was lying in a puddle, it flowed onto the grass around me slowly, I felt life leaving me…one drop at a time just exiting my body… 'Let me die tonight please…' I took more sips of vodka waiting for death to reach me and take me away… 'Fuck…' I said as I felt a sharp pain go down my arms…_

I was running looking for George, my heels were too much, I pulled out my wand and did a simple spell that would turn them into my brown boots, which were easier to run in because they were old and relied on them. 'Good choice Hermione…could've asked for running shoes…' it was the first thing that popped into my head so I didn't spend any more time on it. 'GEORGE!' I panned across the river bank looking for signs of him, I looked down as close as I could near the river and saw only trees, and I kept running along. 'GEORGE!' I was getting desperate to find him, I was so worried now, and I feared something really bad had happened to him when he was drunk…

_'GEORGE!' I heard a female's voice calling out, I thought it was death… my head stirred towards the sound and I raised my neck getting weaker and weaker by the second 'Take me…' I struggled to splatter out 'Take me please…' I was losing blood slowly, the pain was still there but, I grew to enjoy it…_

_I was so calm. 'GEORGE!' the voice called out again… 'Oh death take me…' I said going in and out of consciousness, seeing bright lights, illusions of Fred. 'I'm coming…let me take your hand…' I whispered. I was watching me, standing over me 'Take my hand Georgie…' I said smiling. I was blacking out slowly; I put my hand on my chest and saw the blood gleaming from the moonlight. 'I can't reach!' I splattered out, coughing more and more 'C'mon George fucking grab my hand!' I was getting angry, my facial expression changed… I reached my hand up to make the George looking down on me calmer 'That's right a little bit more…' Fred was standing with him 'C'mon Georgie…Welcome home…' he was smiling; wearing what he was wearing when he died… tears were coming to my eyes and dripping down my face…_

I ran faster, my heart beating, thumping against my rib cage… I then saw something moving on the bank, I pointed my wand in the direction and saw a red headed boy, sprawled out lying there, not moving...

'George…' I ran down the embankment and saw he was surrounded by a dark patch. When my light shined over this I didn't register at first what it was… 'George…what are you…?'

I then realised in that horrifying moment…it was blood. 'OH MY GOD GEORGE!' his hands were cold…tears came to my eyes 'GEORGE!' I tried everything I knew it didn't work and time was running out; he was lying in a pool of his own blood with little cuts on him…

I remembered Harry telling me about his encounter with Malfoy in the boy's bathrooms in our 6th year and I had a flashback…

I remembered the counter curse after reading parts of Snape's old text book… I got my wand out 'Vulnera sanentur…' I said over and over, trying to make it work, I held George's bloodied hand… 'GEORGE DON'T DIE!' tears were streaming down my cheeks, he was laying there, his eyes closed, and he looked so peaceful…his wand was beside him covered in blood; his left hand was clutching a bottle of vodka. I stroked his forehead… 'George, you're so loved, you're special…come back to us…' I couldn't stop crying, my dress was also covered in blood on the hem. I leant over and kissed his ice cold cheek 'Please George.' I wrapped my arms around him and hugged his lifeless body…

'PLEASE GEORGE WAKE UP.' I lent down and put my head on his chest 'DON'T DO THIS GEORGE PLEASE!' the blood was going back into his body… 'You're going to be okay…' I held him against me as the blood went back into his wounds… he began breathing again, going from a faint breathe to where I could see his chest rising and falling, his heart began to beat quicker with every passing minute. 'Thank you God…' I said looking up at the sky…

_I was in darkness…the other George was fading… 'I'm sorry George…not this time…' said Fred, I was falling back towards earth, falling back down, and Fred was getting further and further from my grasp. My own twin wasn't able to save me, like I wasn't able to save him… 'Was I going to hell?' I saw my body lying in the arms of someone…a girl…I think it as all blurry, I fell and rested into my body and felt like I was back on earth again._

George's body jumped at one moment, I held him there just him and I for a while 'You're safe now…' I whispered and I kissed his forehead and stroked his hair. I apparated us back to his room after picking up his wand and putting it in his pocket.

When we arrived in his room I took off his jacket, his vest and his shirt. He lied there half naked on the bed, most girls would've forgotten about helping and would've just had a good look at him, but I didn't have the time.

I had just saved his life, he was still unconscious and breathing normally now. I cleaned his clothes using the power of magic of course. I got a shirt out of his pyjama draw and put it on him and laid him back on his pillow, and then I had to remove his trousers.

Having seen George at the beach in previous summers, seeing him in boxers wouldn't bother me. I undid the buckle on his belt and pulled his trousers off his legs, I didn't want to remove anything else, because that'd be embarrassing for anyone knowing someone saw them completely naked and dressed them, that and I thought there was no way me, Hermione Granger had the guts to do it…

So I just cleaned his remaining clothing whilst he was on the bed. I got out some pyjama pants from his draw and put them back on him. I put him into bed properly and made sure he was warm. I then went into my room to discover it was now 2am. 'I hope he thanks me for this…' I said to myself worriedly as I brushed my hair before getting into bed and doing a quick cleaning spell on my dress and went to sleep.

The horrors of the night that had just occurred I couldn't ignore and spent most of the night dreaming of it over and over again… I remembered seeing George sprawled on the ground, dead, blood everywhere, only I couldn't save him. I woke up at 3:30am sweating like mad. 'It's just a dream Hermione…he's safe in the room across the hallway… 'Poor George, he was so sweet and he drove himself to attempting suicide…well suicide…if it weren't for me he was succeeded…' I went to sleep thinking of George and I went to sleep with a smile on my face...

_I remember hearing a girl's voice…she was crying…I wasn't dying anymore…I felt weak still and as I went to open my eyes I passed out… that's all I remembered as I woke up in the morning…or was I dead? The stream of light cut across my floor, my suit was in a coat hanger, my wand had blood on it and a thick note I had in my pocket was fully white… I wondered how that worked but I couldn't understand why… I realised I was alive when I felt my heart beating and felt a deep feeling of rage and anger… someone interfered with me and my wishes and I wanted to fucking die and I wasn't even allowed to do that. I clenched my fist and stared across the hallway 'Hermione…' I groaned 'Fucking Hermione and her good soul…' I couldn't hate her for it but, for now I did…_

_I heard someone come near my door so I pretended to fall back asleep again. My head resting into my pillow… I heard the small heels of the shoes clacking on the wooden floor and it could only mean one person…_

_'Oh Georgie, my dear boy… I'm so glad we didn't lose you…' it was mums voice. Her hair brushed against my face as she kissed my cheek gently and hugged me. 'Fuck…someone really did save me…it was official… FUCKING WHY?!' I was so angry, I was an inch from death and I couldn't even earn my right to that either… _

_Mum ran her warm hand across my forehead 'Thank God Hermione noticed you were missing…' she whispered. 'I KNEW IT, I FUCKING KNEW SHE DID! I FUCKING KNEW ONLY SHE WOULD SAVE ME! CAN A MAN NOT FUCKING DO ANYTHING WITHOUT A WOMAN INTEFERING! I SHOULD'VE GONE TO MY OWN LOCATION HOURS AWAY! BUT NO I HAD TO GET FUCKING DRUNK AND DO IT NEAR THE FUCKING RIVER!' I thought to myself and waited for mum to leave but, my heart was pounding. I knew Hermione was doing what she thought was right…but, why oh why did she tell my parents…_

_I 'woke up' and sat on the end of my bed, running my hands through my hair, I was even dressed; wait…Hermione dressed me… I hope she didn't…eh so what if she did all girls are the same no matter what their personality…or maybe she didn't…I knew Hermione and I'm pretty sure she didn't move my boxers because they were the same ones… 'Maybe it's good to trust her…' I thought. One minute she doesn't want to know me the next she's saving my life… talk about fucking with logic._

_ 'George… why didn't you say anything we could've helped you…' said mum putting breakfast on the table for dad, I looked around the kitchen, at the clock, at the walls, at the cooking books, at the mess in the lounge room, it was making my head spin and I clenched my fist and smacked it on the table in frustration…_

_'I DON'T FUCKING NEED HELP! JUST STAY OUT OF MY LIFE! IF THAT HERMIONE NEVER FOUND ME I'D BE A LOT HAPPIER! I DON'T WANT TO LIVE ANYMORE WHAT PART DOES NO ONE GET, PEOPLE ATTEMPT SUICIDE BECAUSE THEY WANT DEATH OVER LIFE! I WAS AN INCH FROM DEATH AND SHE DECIDED TO SAVE ME! I WANT TO DIE, BLOODY HELL STAY OUT OF MY LIFE; I DON'T WANT TO HEAR FROM ANYONE EVER AGAIN! YOU'RE ALL FUCKED! I'M GOING TO GET SOMEONE ELSE TO RUN MY BUSINESS WHILE I'M GONE; I'M SICK OF EVERYONE'S SHIT!' I was fuming; 'But…George…' my father said grabbing my shoulder, but I shrugged him off and ran upstairs._

_I was so pissed that anything I wanted to do I couldn't, even when near succeeding… I ran upstairs and on the way to my room I saw Hermione in the hallway. 'George…I…I didn't mean to…I just…' she said quivering and tears were coming to her eyes, obviously she heard me downstairs 'You just what Hermione? WHEN SOMEONE COMMIT SUICIDE IT'S BECAUSE THEY WANT IT, YOU COULD AT LEAST RESPECT SOMEONE'S WISHES AT LEAST! DOES NO ONE UNDERSTAND! BESIDES YOU DON'T CARE ABOUT ME ALL YOU DID WAS AVOID ME ALL DAY YESTERDAY…' she stared at me silently, looking at the ground. 'I didn't mean to George, I'M SORRY!' she said grabbing my arm, her light brown eyes staring at me intently._

_'Oh I have to ask you, did you at least have the decency not to look at my junk last night? Or did you help yourself to that as well?' I said looking in her eyes 'NO! GEORGE I'D NEVER DO THAT! I'M NOT LIKE OTHER GIRLS!' she stared me directly in the eyes as she began crying, her lip whimpering… 'Well that's a fucking start and with that I closed the door in her face._

_I went to my room to pack. I put a few clothes in a suitcase, some shoes, and my wand in my pocket, some empty writing books and a few quills and pens into the bag. A few reading books maybe and my wallet, I got the note off my bed side table and left it on the bed open, for everyone to see. 'You're an animal George...' I said to myself looking in my mirror and remembering what I just did to Hermione… I went to say sorry but, I didn't see the point… it'd make me stay here longer, I had reached total insanity now, I didn't want to be controlled or anything by anyone… I just want to die or at least live alone until I killed myself anyway…I then apparated myself away to a destination of which I only knew…_

I waited ten minutes for him to calm down, tears rolled down my cheeks onto my light pink skivvy…I knocked on the door lightly, he didn't answer, I knocked a little louder 'George…?' I called, there was no response.

'Maybe I should come back later…I eyed the door knob and opened it slowly… 'George…? Are you in here?' I asked softly and saw no one was to be found in the room. His draw set and shelves were tidy, but some things were missing off the shelves like his books, his wand was gone and I trembled across the wooden floor to his bed… there was a note lying there… 'This isn't funny George…' I said but, there really was no one in the room… 'George, don't scare me…' I got closer and closer to his bed and saw the note had at least five pages and lots of writing… I picked it up, the pages began shaking in my hands, my heart was beating and I sat on the bed as I went into shock, the note began with 'To whoever wants to read this shit…' within that sentence I knew he was gone and I broke down instantly… 'NO!' I threw myself to the floor with the note in my hand, put my face into his rug and cried…tossing the note across the floor not wanting to read more…'Hermione! Are you okay?' called Mrs Weasley and I just continued crying…

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**Hope you guys liked it, I tried to put heaps of effort into this chapter, review if you want thanks :)**


	5. To Find A Lost Soul

**Well here it is, chapter 5, in this chapter Hermione tries to find George, i tried to make it as interesting as possible but, I don't know i gave it my best and I think it's alright I feel it's missing something, either that or I'm paranoid (if you think different then thank you so much). Please review if you want so I know if it's any good or not, if there's any changes you want me to add tell me so I can change it (again if you like it then all good lol). thanks for reading :) hope you guys like it so i stop second guessing myself :)**

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Mrs Weasley finally got to the top of the stairs and was huffing like she had just run a mile… her red hair was frizzled and her face stained with worry, she seemed to barely move when she went into George's room it's like she could sense something was very wrong...

'What's wrong?' asked Mrs Weasley when she entered George's room and saw me lying on the floor crying. I didn't take my face off from the floor, I just pointed across at the letter that had fell across the floor when I had thrown it.

Mrs Weasley looked around the empty room 'Where's George?' she asked panicked. She eyed where things were missing and immediately knew something was very wrong, something very wrong had happened indeed.

'IT'S MY ENTIRE FAULT! HE RAN AWAY!' I said looking up from the floor, my cheeks felt like they were burning; my eyes were beginning to ache from crying so bloody hard. I felt guilty… as guilty as I had ever felt…something told me I should've just let George die last night… now he was gone...but, I thought at the time I was doing the right thing...I should've known he would've thought differently.

She looked at me stunned she opened her mouth but, nothing came out, she made a small sound but, it wasn't even a word, she just stared like everything in her life had just flashed before her very eyes… tears came to her eyes and ran downstairs to tell her husband. I looked over at the note and I crawled over to it, it was sprawled out on the floor still; Mrs Weasley hadn't even looked at it properly.

I picked it up, my hand shaking violently as I went to open it straight out. I had to grip it strongly so that I could grasp it without it shaking out of my hands. There were a few pages but, about half or less or a full page of parchment had been written out, it looked thicker than what it was but, I didn't care I wanted to see if it would tell me where he had gone… what he felt so deeply in his mind that he kept private…

I picked myself up, walked across the hallway to my room; I sat myself on my bed holding my pillow as a comforter and began reading the note…

_'To whoever wants to read this shit…'_

It began, my hands shaking even more, I dared to read on and so I did…

_Over the past few months I have felt like my whole worlds been torn in two, I have no direction no sense of reality, no sense of what I should do and where my life is heading. I have had my triumphs, successes, money, wealth and a fortune I'd never thought I'd have… I have failed to acquire any long lasting love. Someone I could call 'mione…'_

I paused… well that was certainly a coincidence… maybe an error…or… I thought he was referring to me 'Nah why would he…' I thought to myself as a tear rolled down my cheek…

'…_ someone I could hold when the nights are cold, someone I can tell my deepest thoughts and feelings too, someone I can tell my dreams to, someone that will love me for being me, George Weasley, and never have to leave me. I know very few twenty year olds acquire this but; it's the only thing I have any hope for. Nothing else is of any value to me, money or anything; money can never buy anyone love…_

_No one was there when my brother Fred died that fateful night, no one was there to help me save him, I feel everlasting guilt for what happened. He was the better twin, the smarter twin, the more girl-magnet twin and he had it all. I knew I should've died that night because I was sick of being me. No one in my life to love, no other friends I could talk to and certainly no other person I could call mine ever. I have been hurt so many times it's any wonder I can trust any other woman. I hate thinking about love for this reason, nothing good ever happens to me, I am nothing, I never will accomplish anything. Sure a joke shop in Diagon Alley that earns a lot of money, but any fool can do that and maybe that's what I am to everyone, just a simple fool…_

_I look at my other brothers, all with their own lives, even my younger brother has someone…Fred had Angelina and I had no one… everyone in the Weasley family has someone except for me. I wonder into Fred's room some nights, look at our photo albums over the years, our greatest memories at Hogwarts, memorabilia from our ventures and even the tape he had kept when we first opened the store. Without Fred there was no me, what other purpose did I have in life? No one else to share a good joke with, no one else to talk to about my problems because anyone else wouldn't care about me, I was only as confident as I appeared because Fred was the one who fuelled my creativity. I was the same for him, having a really cool brother like Fred was like having the best dog in the world, your best friend but, then one day when you least expect it they drop dead on you and you think 'Why'd that happen? My best friend just died, how does anyone get over that?' except Fred wasn't a dog, he was blood._

_I remember being in Umbridge's detention in the 7__th__ grade when we had to have the shit cut into our hands and as shit as I felt he was there going through it with me. We were a team like Lennon and McCartney, peanuts and butter and toast with marmalade. Anyone who's lost their brother, sister, mum or dad knows what it's like to lose someone so close to you that when they die, a part of you dies with them._

_I know this sounds like it's coming from a total sissy and this is how I feel every single fucking day. I spend most of my time in my room contemplating death, wanting it to just pick me off my bed like a screaming vulture and take me away, free me of all my misery and save me from myself and this shit life I've created._

_At work I have to act happy and pretend I'm something special, pretend I want to be there, pretend I want to be there with all my customers giving them the best prank advice and so on, when all I really ever want to do is curl up in a ball and hide or just lay down and die. The shops the only thing keeping me going currently, the only thing in my life worth living for, the only thing that keeps my heart beating every day, the only thing that makes me want to be alive despite for my family who right now is going better for itself than we ever have._

_When I talk to Fred, I ask how he's going up there in the big sky and tell him my troubles…just to find I'm wasting my fucking time and he is never going to reply back to anything I say… I have no idea and for what reason I bother for. I feel like crying sometimes but, I hold myself back, other times I feel nothing no matter how hurt or depressed I really am…I just want it all over…_

At the end of the third page I saw a dotted line that said 'From the 23rd of September till recently…' 'I can't take anymore!' but, my eyes just kept reading, they had a mind of their own and they wanted to read every single bit of George's pains until the very last line.

_'When I last started writing this long and stupid message I had almost no hope for life…currently I'm between wanting to live and wanting to die, like a traffic light on amber, will I stop or keep going? I recently started talking to Hermione; she's going through a rough patch, Ron has broken her heart like a total jerk and left her all alone…she talked to me about it and it gave me something to focus on…I feel so sorry for, having someone you think is the love of your life but, turns around and stabs her in the back._

_It wasn't till now that we had really talked, like we talked occasionally but, never about anything deep and meaningful and she actually asked how I was going…it made me feel as if someone in my life actually cared, actually wanted me in their life… love on the other hand I wouldn't bet on, a smart girl like her with a dumb fuck like me? No way… she should and could do with so much better, someone high up in the ministry, a rich man…someone that would take care of her… I could do that but, I don't think I'm the man to do it…what am I saying would I actually consider her to be anything more than a friend? Maybe… but I may as well forget about it…my chances are after all lower than a snake…_

_Over the last few weeks we have been getting closer, I look at her occasionally and think of my prospects but, she's so hard to read… she's so kind, why would someone put so much kindness into one person? I could say so much more about her… but no word can possibly describe her… she used to be just someone I spoke to occasionally now she's like my life support…_

_I wish I had someone like her but, I doubt she'd ever return any feelings… if I had any that was what I feel I don't know what it is… she's an awesome friend but, sometimes I'd like to think of her as something more, I don't know if it's love, an infatuation or I just like the kind of girl she is… at least she's not like Lavender, nowhere near and a way better quality of person._

After a few more pages of relatively the same stuff, I got to the end of the note. My eyes couldn't stop crying, my cheeks were so wet, I felt totally drained and just stared into space only to read the last part of the note George had left…

_'Now you know the reason why I need to die, what's the point of living if there's nothing to live for…everyone else can get on with their lives, I don't want a part of it anymore nor do I care. I don't want to live in this world anymore, not just because of Fred's death but, because I have no interests or need to live because I've got absolutely nothing in my life I want…except…_

- _George'_

I noticed after George had written 'except' that that part of the page had been pulled out from the paper like a gaping hole. I was intrigued, I shook inside, tears flowing down my cheeks and I felt so responsible for all of it. Even if I want it, it didn't stop me, still felt guiltier than anyone and it depressed the fuck out of me.

I hugged my pillow, lied down sideways and cried. I heard Mrs Weasley downstairs with Mr Weasley crying and saying she didn't want to touch the note and didn't know what to do. I felt my heart aching…it's like now that George was gone I felt more alone than ever, no one else was going to live at home after Tuesday. I felt something for George, some connection I had to tell him about… he was so sweet and I actually thought… 'I love him…'

Lavender and Ron were out right now, I was lying on my bed thinking and thought of running away to find George… eventually I had made my decision, I had decided to run away in search of George and locate him before he did something…if he hadn't already…

I stared blankly at my wall… I didn't want to think he was already dead, I wanted to think he was still living out there, somewhere and I was going to be the one to find him and I wanted to be sure of it, even if he was dead I wanted to know so didn't spend my whole life wondering with everyone else what had happened to him.

The thing was I knew not where George would be found… I decided to ask someone I barely wanted to talk to when he returned home or any other time really… Ron.

After many hours of Mrs Weasley crying, her and her husband just sat on their lounge huddled together and didn't say a word… they were staring blankly into space and I felt for them. They didn't even realise I was there, it's like I wasn't there at all… I knew they must've been so worried about their son it must've scared them he could just disappear like that…

They were the best parents anyone could ask for, not the richest family, but they were rich with love and they were the tightest family I had known. Despite George running away they managed to raise their children the best they could and I had great respect for them. I wondered around the house for the next few hours planning what to take on my quest to find George and bring him home. I heard someone walking on the loose gravel at the front at about five in the evening.

I stood near the doorway as Ron walked through the door and I was waiting. 'Ronald, we need to talk.' He had heard what had happened through an owl his mother had sent out a few hours earlier to find him at the restaurant.

We walked through the door and he followed me to the stairs and sat down beside me. 'I need you to tell me where you think he might be.' He looked at me somewhat sadly… he didn't talk to George much anymore, than again a lot of people around here didn't

'How do you know he's not dead?' he asked looking at the ground, distraught.

I looked at him and couldn't help but feel the same, but I thought I'd use the bit of hope I had left in my heart on George's life. 'Please Ron, I want to find George and bring him home…' Ron looked at me but, didn't know what to say, his eyes were watering and I knew he was very upset.

I had my pen out, quite a typical muggle object, but useful as they were pretty much 'instant ink'. He looked me in the eyes and for the first time when he looked at me I felt as if I really didn't have any connection to him at all anymore.

'Either in Diagon alley at the Leaky cauldron, his joke shop, Hogsmeade, London, the country…anywhere really he likes to explore…' I patted Ron on the back and gave him a small smile 'I'll find him…' I said reassuringly, not that I could promise it but, I just wanted something to aim for… 'I hope you do…and Hermione…' Ron said as I went to get up 'Yes?' I replied; my voice somewhat shaking. 'I'm sorry about what I did to you… I should've told you…' he said looking at me and then at the ground, his light blue eyes downcast. 'Ron, I don't care anymore what's done is done… but thank you for saying sorry…all is forgiven.'

He gave me a soft smile, his face somewhat lit up and I accepted him as more of a friend now… I didn't feel as if I had to hate him for what he did anymore…

I ran up the stairs and went into my room and hurriedly packed my bag that I could store multiple things in due to the charm I had placed on it. It was small but full of many things I may need. I filled it with my wallet, clothes, jackets, shoes, underwear of course, hairbrush, a notebook and pen, the tent Ron, Harry and I had shared when searching for Horcrux's, blanket, pillow and a few books to read. I never knew what I would need so I tried to think of as many things possible.

I read for a while, trying to get my mind off of George… I looked at the clock after a few hours and saw it was 9pm. I decided to retire to bed so I could wake up at five and start my journey… as I brushed my hair I just constantly thought about George…

I just wanted to know what happened to him so if anything at all did happen to him, I could tell his family… I was more worried about the rest of the Weasley family, as he was of course part of them.

The next morning I sent an owl to the ministry explaining I'll be absent for an unknown period of time, I sent an owl to Luna's house asking her to fill in for me at my book store on the days I was there as she covered for me usually if I was sick. She also said if I needed any help or if I was going on holidays to send her an owl anytime even on short notice… with her note I also sent some money and chocolate.

I left a note to Mr and Mrs Weasley explaining where I was going and reassured them I'd let them know what happened to George as soon as I found out for myself. I apparated myself to Diagon alley and began my search there…

I ended up in the main street and walked up the road to the joke shop near where Ollivander's Wands stood still, newly refurbished after it had been destroyed not so long ago.

I walked through the door of George's joke shop and into the main room. There were people everywhere, they were all smiling, laughing, some asking for Mr Weasley but, were happy with the service all the same.

I was walking around the shop and saw a man I had seen occasionally in there but, never really spoke to, he was middle-aged, with grey curly hair that sat on his shoulders, bright green eyes (not as bright as Harry's), clean shaven and I remembered that he had helped George on occasion. 'Hello?' I said walking up to him from behind, he turned around, his green eyes stared into mine and he had a pinstripe suit on.

'Oh hello young lady, what can I do for you today?' he said standing tall even though he was shorter than I was which almost made me laugh. 'Good morning Sir, my names Hermione Granger…I'm a friend of George's…' I said trying to think of things to say without crying over the mentioning of his name. I put my right hand out to shake his hand and he did so, it was warm and friendly.

'Uh…I'm Mr Hurt; I'm a colleague of George's...' I smiled politely and decided to get to the point of me being there 'I assumed that Sir, but I have a question for you… do you have any idea where your boss is?' I asked relatively straight to the point. He looked up at the ceiling as a flying paper aeroplane came whizzing past us…

'Um…no…he contacted me by owl yesterday asking me to fill in, to keep a quarter of the profits and to put the rest into his bank account… he hasn't been himself lately…quite stand-offish and quiet…poor lad since his brother died he hasn't been the same…did he run away?' he asked trying to find out off me where his boss was, quite obviously he didn't know either…

'No…but, running away? Has he mentioned it before?' I got my pen and paper out of my bag; 'Did he ever talk about anywhere specific?' I asked 'Where he'd like to go?' Mister Hurt went quiet… 'I'll answer you one at a time.' He said with a chuckle 'I can tell you're very worried about him…'

'He mentioned running away sometimes but, he never said where, he said everyone would be happier if he just got up and disappeared without a trace… he never mentioned anywhere specifically. Well now you mention it, he always wanted to visit Scotland…I'm sorry I can't be of much help you Miss Granger…he's quite mysterious…well these days anyway…I hope you find him.' he said sincerely. I walked with him so we could talk where less people were.

'Sir…on Saturday night he tried to kill himself… I saved his life I just hope he doesn't do it again, or has done it and succeeded…I hope I find him, I really do…' I said looking at him in the eye and then at the ground. Mister Hurt put his hand on my shoulder 'I knew he had severe problems… I didn't think it was this bad… good luck Miss Granger…if it's anything he needs now it's to know someone cares deeply for him…I want you to be that person…' he said looking at me in the eyes and I nodded. 'I'll do the best I can…Goodbye Sir.' I said and turned towards the exit of the store and walked out. It was so cold, a layer of snow covered the ground and I looked at the sky 'Please be okay Georgie…'

I walked around different stores, book shops, everywhere and asked anyone I recognised if they had scene George. Most said they'd seen him on Friday, but over the weekend not at all and not at all today. I tried everywhere except Knockturn alley. George never liked it there he said it was the most dodgy place besides his store he used to joke…when he was happier. I remembered his bright smile he used to have, the charming cheeky look. I barely saw that look anymore, all I saw was his eyes downcast and he barely ever smiled… unless he really forced himself to.

As evening came and my tired feet decided they couldn't carry me around the place anymore I retired to the Leaky cauldron. I crossed off Diagon alley after the day's journey had given me a dead end except for the fact I could add Scotland to my list… but what on earth would he want with Scotland?

I entered the Leaky Cauldron, booked a room and retired for dinner. After this the only places left were Hogsmeade and London…and the rest of the country… I was beginning to think I'd never find him… 'How am I ever going to find that boy?' I asked myself and sadly I couldn't find an answer. Dinner was lonely, but it wasn't as good without someone with you, dinner was never good alone, just like drinking is never fun on your own... I went to bed at around 10pm and tossed and turned for a while...my worrying was keeping me awake so I had to use magic to put myself to sleep quicker...

The next morning I woke up, it was now Tuesday I decided to start my searches of the other places on my list. I walked around for hours, asking people 'Have you seen George?' and describing him to others, not one person had seen him. After another week of searching in London and Hogsmeade, through the shops, the bars, the apartments, and the phone book everywhere there was no trace.

I was walking around London and ran into someone I knew from a shop in Diagon alley. 'Excuse me Madame, have you seen George Weasley?' she looked at me, her eyes looked old and grey, she looked like she had had a long life and she had become very wise. 'I saw him on Tuesday…he looked like he was about to drop dead, he looked so sad… unfortunately this morning I heard he killed himself… a man fitting his description was found hung on the end of a noose in a local park on the swing set… I'm not one hundred per cent sure if it was him…but by the description alone and the way he looked the other day I wouldn't be surprised… I'm sorry Miss, I really am…' I looked at her shocked… I gasped 'What was the description?' I asked fighting tears in my eyes. 'Tall, red hair down to his shoulders, freckles… about twenty or twenty-one…' I knew that could account for many but it did sound like George… 'Again…I'm sorry…' she said as she continued walking down the foot path.

I stood there frozen… 'George…no he can't be dead…he just can't be…a week had gone by and while I was walking around I hadn't seen him? It was now Saturday so he could be around still or no…he could be…NO HE HAS TO BE ALIVE!' I began crying and felt so helpless… did it all have to end suddenly like this? I felt like I had to keep going until I knew for sure… one person's statement wasn't going to make me believe he was dead… I wanted to continue but, I was quickly losing hope.

It wasn't until I went to Kings Cross Station that afternoon that I saw someone I didn't think I'd see for a very long time after the war: Draco Malfoy. He wasn't as mean as he used to be but, he still had an attitude problem. My eyes and cheeks were still red like they had been recently crying and I felt like he was going to make fun of me or call me something like a Mudblood and make me cry…

'Granger…' he scowled when he saw me. 'Malfoy, I have nothing else to say to you about anything, I'm glad you saved Harry and all that when we were in Malfoy Manor…and glad you didn't hurt any of my friends…' I said and he stared at me slightly confused… 'What brings you here?' he said staring down the tracks.

'I'm looking for someone…' 'Did you lose someone?' he asked, half caring surprisingly, it didn't sound sarcastic at all… 'Yes…well sort of I don't know…I just need to ask you something.' It was stupid me, asking him, someone who was a bastard to us all through school…

'Sure…' he replied looking at me still confused, which I didn't blame him for, it was all rather random to be disliking someone all this time only to ask of their help… Malfoy and helping didn't exactly go together.

He stared at me like I was retarded for a second, his blonde hair not stuck down to his head properly so some of his hair was springing up from the rest of the oil trap he called his hair.

'What do you need to know?' he asked. 'I was wondering if you've seen George Weasley…' he looked up at the ceiling for a minute and actually looked like he was thinking about it.

'Yeah, a few days ago, here at the station…Wednesday I think it was… he got on a train, then he must've changed his mind and apparated… I heard the other day he was dead…I can't be of much use to you now…' he said a bit kinder than he usually was. 'When'd you hear he was dead…?' I asked. 'Yesterday…from a few people in Diagon Alley, word was on Sunday, a week ago he had run away from home, he was spotted along the line somewhere, sometimes in our world and other times around London. I heard he died yesterday, killed himself by hanging.' I stared at him and felt my heart leaping in my throat.

'Oh no…' I felt myself choking up and sat on a bench and he sat beside me. 'Did you need to speak with him?' he asked looking at me and not knowing what to do. 'Yeah… I need to tell him something…something I should've told him but, I never did…' 'Life's like that…' Malfoy conceded. 'What if he really is dead?' I asked 'I don't know, they would've contacted his family so they could bury him… until you get that owl I wouldn't stop looking.' He gave a small un-jerkish smile.

'Yeah well I need to go cry my heart out so…' I said trying to hold back from losing it in public…

'Look, I'm waiting for my girlfriend to arrive here so, I'll give you a place where Weasley might be…a cottage in Scotland that he has. It's an investment property, it's in some town I can't think of the name but, it should be in the yellow pages…by the way you tell no one I tried to help you…' his eyes looked desperate, I suppose someone who was the child of a death eater who was now in Azkaban on a sentence wouldn't want to be seen as kind or caring and shit. But I also thought to myself, 'Did he say Yellow pages...because I'm from a muggle family, or did he say it because it was actually listed?' Malfoy's work in mysterious ways...

I looked at him and had a small smile on my face. 'Thank you Malfoy…' 'I wouldn't make it a habit.' He said and I shook his hand and walked off to the women's bathrooms so I could apparate without any witnesses to the leaky cauldron without muggles for another night's stay.

I got ready for bed and packed all of my things except for my clothes, hair brush, tooth brush and tooth paste and wand that I would need in the morning.

I got into bed, the fire was enough to warm the whole room, I pulled the sheet over myself and closed my eyes 'Off to Scotland tomorrow Hermione…I hope you find what you're looking for…' I repeated this over and over till I drifted into a deep sleep…


	6. Of Heaven, Hell & Angels

**This is chapter 6, hopefully the stories getting more intriguing thanks for those who have read my story so far and liked it. rate and review if you want basically this chapters like a part 2 of Hermione's quest to find George. Hope you like it, I spent a lot of hours on this one hope you guys like it :)**

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I awoke the next morning to the sound of rattles from the trains going passed the wall that was along the track, dust fell from the ceiling, and it shook me awake. I opened my eyes slowly and stared at the clock on the wall above the fire place, it was 8am. I stretched myself out and thought of the dreams I had. I remember seeing George in them but, it was brief and I didn't remember much more.

I walked to the bathroom and did the usual, shower, hair, teeth and then clothes. I always brushed my hair before I got dressed so hair didn't get on my clothes. I slid my white skivvy over my head and put my jeans on with thick knee high socks underneath. It was freezing outside I assumed judging by the snow that had gathered on the window behind the blinds. I went over to my bed and put on my thick cream coloured coat.

I packed all of my stuff into my bag and walked down the creaky stairs to the dining room. A lady that knew mostly every student in Hogwarts was working and I thought it wouldn't hurt to ask her where George was. I mean if he came here she would've surely recognised him, or if she saw him anywhere really.

She was cleaning the table beside me, her hair was grey now but, she still looked friendly and young. Her apron was covered in food, sauce stains, gravy and anything else that could be found in a kitchen. I was trying to think of her name when it came to me. 'Hello Julie.' I said with a smile and she looked up from her wand that was moving a sponge across the table and gave me a smile.

'Hello Miss Granger, is there anything I can get you?' 'No thanks, I was just going to ask you about something.' She sat down on the chair in front of me and kept an eye on the sponge. 'What is it?' she asked softly, she was probably the nicest lady in the Leaky cauldron, the others looked like they had just rolled out of a horse and cart and had really black teeth and actually looked scary…

'You know George Weasley…?' I began and she started talking 'Oh yes, young Mister Weasley with the successful business, yes, yes my dear how is he?' I looked at the table and noticed a few crumbs and then looked up. 'He's a bit of a train wreck really…I've been trying to find him over this past week, in fact very few have…' she looked at me like she knew something. 'I saw him the other day, had to be Tuesday or Wednesday can't remember exactly when but, he was in London, he had let himself go, he hadn't shaven, he looked like he'd spent all night drinking, he looked dirty like he'd been wearing the same clothes for days and he just looked really drained of anything really… he was looking out onto the Thames river and I thought for a second he was going to jump. Instead he apparated…that was the last time I saw him, I worry for the boy, ever since his brother died he hasn't been the George Weasley I've known all these years… How'd his mother take it?' she asked sympathetically and looked very sad.

'She didn't know what to do or say, I left the house the day after he had left and haven't heard anything since…' I said looking at the table 'Good family the Weasley's…' she said clearing the silence, like the many people I had asked a lot of them didn't know what to say, or do.

'I heard reports that George was in Scotland…but I also heard other things like he was dead…' I said trying to lead Julie on so she could tell me anything she possibly knew about George but, at the same time it was making me feel more sad and helpless than I already was.

'There is a cottage in a country town in Scotland…that's all I know.' I took that into deep consideration and thanked her for all her help…now it was on to find George…once I got a map of Scotland of course which meant going to London for a map of Scotland with towns labelled… it was as I was about to leave the Leaky Cauldron that an Owl appeared with a message. The owl was brown with orange yes and had a red ribbon around it's left foot.

'Just as you were about to find him…' I thought frustrated. It sat on a bar stool near where I was and I looked at the Owl, I noticed it as belonging to only one family, the Weasley's of course…in short the message came with sadness and I had a sense that I had to return to the Burrow immediately.

Mrs Weasley had become ill with a strange sickness that would leave her bedridden for an unknown period of time. I had to put off my search for George, for his mother; no matter how close he was I didn't want to lose Mrs Weasley she was like a second mother to me. Losing both would be worse, I just wanted everything to be the same as it was before hand, before all this but, I knew with Fred dead this would never be.

I apparated back to the Burrow and was met by Ron, Ginny, Harry, Lavender was working so she wasn't there (thank Godric) and Mister Weasley. 'Oh thank God you're here…look you can go back to your search for George, but we just thought you should see Molly in case…' Mr Weasley stopped his sentence and held back the tears that were glistening in his eyes. 'What happened to her?' I asked, he was silent and withdrawn obviously his wife being sick was enough to make any man worry, especially when no one knew what on earth it was.

'Last week she went into George's room and had a heart attack, she was fine but then she got the flu only worse… the doctor doesn't know what it is but, we're hoping it's just because George is gone and that him returning will make it all better.' said Harry looking at the Weasley parent's bedroom door with great sadness. Ginny was quiet and had her arm around Ron's shoulder, he was distraught.

'I've got a few leads… but I need time…' I said thinking about where I should even start if I had to go to Scotland. 'Well just stay here for a few weeks and plan your trip.' Said Mister Weasley…

'A trip?' I thought like George could be dead, or die any day and they think I've got all the time in the world… for Mrs Weasley's sake I'd stay till she was well, I was torn between two people I loved in my life and I didn't know what to do… what would anyone do? Too much was happening at once and I couldn't handle the overwhelming pressure I felt each time I thought about George or Mrs Weasley.

I decided to stay but, I hoped I didn't lose too much time… if George was still alive I hope he'd stay alive till I continued my quest for him. I couldn't sleep that night, I just didn't know if he was out there or dead…the thoughts kept me awake till dawn and I still didn't feel an inch tired.

I walked out of my room and looked across the hallway at his door and the tears came to my eyes 'I'll find you…' I let out quietly before going back to my bed to hold my pillow and cry…

After lying there for a while I decided to go into George's room, I walked in and noticed that his bed was still made, everything was the same, I opened up his desk draw and found a piece of paper, I picked it up and it was some recipe for a new product, it made me smile but, it also made me miss him more. I lied on his bed and finally fell asleep.

_Meanwhile…I had been missing from my family home for a week and a bit, I had grown out a beard, wore brown eye contacts, put a charm on myself that made my freckles fade, changed my hair to brown and wore clothes for a few days at a time…_

_I woke up on the floor, looked at the ceiling, felt the bottle of Jim Beam still in my hand…I blacked out again and didn't wake up… I didn't know where I was, what I was doing or why…I was hoping I was just gonna drop dead eventually…_

_I fell into a dream, I was back home again lying on my bed looking up at the ceiling, my room was dark, I heard someone knocking on the door, I looked up from my pillow, the door slowly opened and a light slipped across the floor, there was a shadow in the doorway. A girl from what I could work out._

_A hand slid around the doors edge, she had her hair in a bun as it was pulled back, her eyes shined in the darkness, and she was wearing a blue dress and no shoes. It flowed above her knees, the light outlined her soft curves and she looked beautiful._

_'Who…' I began to ask, she walked closer, the door closed behind her and a candle lit up on my bed side table. She sat on the end of my bed. 'George…' she said putting a hand smaller than mine on my leg and I worked out who it was in an instant…I couldn't help but want her…_

_'Hermione…?' she came over to where I was lying, the bed barely moved, she moved lightly 'Hermione…what are you doing…?' her hands were on either side of my chest now, she looked into my eyes lovingly her eyes shining with the reflection of the flame. I couldn't help but, feel my heart skip a beat what did she want with me? 'I love you…' she said with a smile, I stared at her stunned, my heart thumping 'I love you too…' I said as calmly as I possibly could._

_She kissed me gently, her sweet strawberry wine tasting lips gently sucking my bottom lip, I kissed her back, covering her lips gently sucking and nibbling running my hands through her hair and undid the bun that kept it from being free 'George…' she said stopping to shake her hair as her golden brown curls fell around her, she looked so beautiful, I ran my hands off her shoulder, down to her waist feeling her curves._

_She rolled off me and sat next to me on the edge of the bed as I lied down behind her. Her head was looking at the ground, her hair covering her eyes, she looked sad, her eyes began to glimmer with tears. 'Don't leave me George…' she said._

_I sat up and put my arm around her waist and pulled her back down to me 'Hermione…' I gave her a kiss on the neck and she turned to look at me properly._

_She leant over me and gave me one last kiss 'Goodbye George…' she said_

_'Hermione where are you going?' she was in my arms and then out of them…I was alone again…just like I was alone all the time…_

_I thought it was over, I had to wake up now…I felt a strange paralysing feeling come over me, I felt like I couldn't move off my bed, only my head could move and I looked towards the door._

_I then saw a hooded figure walk into my room 'Hermione?' I called. It wasn't a sweet young woman this time…it was a death eater. They blended in with my dark room, the candle blew out, the room fell cold and silent._

_I could only hear the faint footsteps walking across the floor, coming towards me; my heart was beating harder, jumping into my throat._

_My heart was pounding as a green light burst from their hand and hit me at full force. I woke up shaking; staring at the empty bottles of past nights on my floor._

_I was shivering; I curled myself into a ball and shook violently but, quietly crying. 'Help me…' I called but, no one came… 'Someone please help me!' I called as I cried more and more…_

The days passed, so slow like time was lingering, one minute felt like 4 hours and I just didn't know what to do or say…Mrs Weasley was bed ridden and everyone that visited or stayed was miserable, I had planned my quest and I was waiting for Mrs Weasley to become well again so I had one less worry on my mind.

I worked for two days a week when I could be bothered to get out of bed; Luna helped me every day and tried to make me feel better but, to no avail. She said that everything would work out but, I found it very hard to believe as each day passed. She was a good friend to have around, like Harry she knew what it was like to have lost someone or something close to you. Just difference was she had Neville in her life and Neville who used to be a quiet but, brave Gryffindor seemed to be happier than he had ever been.

After almost four weeks went by, I woke up on a Thursday morning, it was almost December now, and snow was piling up everywhere. George had been gone almost a month without a trace.

I couldn't help but feel like giving up…I went down to the kitchen to see Mrs Weasley out of bed. 'Mrs Weasley! You're okay!' I said giving her a hug and feeling the best I had felt in over a month, it gave me some hope and enough belief in life to carry on.

'I feel much better Hermione thank you… just a minor health scare but, love is enough to keep everyone alive.' I thought about what she had said and hoped my love for George would be enough to keep him alive. She served Mister Weasley and me breakfast and alerted everyone else who had been praying and hoping the best for the Weasley family messages of the good news.

I got up from the table after I had finished my breakfast which filled me up 'Thank you Mrs Weasley…Oh, and just to inform you I shall leave tomorrow to find George…' everyone fell silent as I said his name.

'I don't see why you can't leave now?' suggested Mister Weasley with a small smile, he wanted his son back to know he was okay and I think in reality that's what we all wanted to know. That George Weasley was okay and would be coming home.

I hugged them both goodbye and told them I'd try my best to find what happened to George and where he had gone. I'm not sure if they believed anymore that he was returning and I'm not even sure I did… I wanted him to come back more than anything.

I went up the creaky steps of the Burrow to my bedroom, grabbed my bag and my map of Scotland and had numbered circles of small country towns that had a population of both magic and non-magic folk, I wanted to go to towns with 19000 or less people which I was able to find out easily due to books I had read over the past few weeks and mapped them out.

It was easy in practice, but would take a lot of time and I couldn't afford a lot of time in case it was too late or already was too late…

With this thought I apparated to Bellshill a small village town, I ended up outside St. Andrews church; it was a beautiful sandstone church and had several trees around it.

I looked around the town and avoided muggle areas, I walked in and out of stores and found a small café called 'Albus' Coffee' I thought to myself it had to be a place with magic folk. I walked in through the glass door as the bell knocked the latch and a woman about Mrs Weasley's age turned around.

'Hello dear can I help you?' she asked with a smile that looked friendly enough but stained yellow, I assumed from either coffee or smoking pipes.

'Um…I was just wondering if Dumbledore…' I said trying not to make it obvious I was ensuring if she was a witch or not and according to the smile she gave me, she was.

'Ah, a young witch, can I help you?' she asked again, she sounded slightly agitated but I was on a search and rescue mission not a quest to find coffee.

'I was just wondering if you knew of anyone by the name of Weasley…?' she looked up at the ceiling and thought for a moment. 'Um…no? Why should I have?' she asked still smiling.

'I was just wondering; he's gone missing so I thought I'd look for him…' I said looking at the ground.

'Oh…well there's none around here…sorry…do you want a coffee?' asked the lady. 'No thank you, thanks for your help…' I said sadly and walked back out the door and apparated to the next town, followed by about five others over the next few weeks I'd stay in town to town, looked through cottages, try and find anyone that resembled George and asked lots of questions. checking phone books.

A few more weeks went by until I reached Penicuik on Christmas Eve.

A small country town that looked pleasant, as I walked down the main street I observed the snow piling up in the gutters, on the foot path and the sky was beginning to look grey out in the distance.

I saw some muggles talking about the building how they had seen people walk in but, not come out, even though it was impossible because it was a brick wall and they pondered.

After a few moments they gave up waiting to see someone and walked down the street laughing. I knew it had to be a place for witches and wizards; it just had to be anything muggles couldn't see that I could was a dead giveaway.

As a I walked across the road and walked across I found that it was a book store was called 'Isadora's Spell Binding Book Store'. The sign was black with silver writing that was spell book shaped with little stars engraved on the metal.

I entered the store and noticed a few people looking at shelves, the store was a dark purple, wooden shelves held up thousands up thousands of books around the store and as I walked to the back of the store I saw a woman in purple robes standing at the service desk.

She was a chubby woman with dyed blonde hair and looked quite snobbish, and then for some reason I felt an impulse to talk to her.

I self-consciously began talking to her and felt really nervous because she wasn't paying attention to anything other than a book her head was in.

'Excuse me Miss…' she gave a small smile and looked at me with deep dark black eyes. 'Yes?' 'Do you know a young wizard by the name of Weasley, George Weasley…?' her eyes brightened and she smiled.

'Oh good ol' Mister Weasley, yes I know him, he has a property up in the hills on Old Man's Grove lane. Haven't seen him in ages, how is he?' she asked. 'Um…I'm not sure, we haven't seen him in two months, by we I mean his family.'

Her face fell 'I knew he wasn't well when I last saw him, he looked withdrawn and lost, I asked if he needed anything but, he gave me a smile and walked out and I haven't seen him since, that was nearly a year ago of course.'

I smiled 'Well thank you Miss…?' I said wondering off the sentence not knowing what her name was.

'Izzy, just call me Izzy.' She said with a smile, I saw a book and decided to buy one out of respect for helping me find where George was at last…unless life took another turn… which made my stomach feel like it was shrinking.

I thanked her again and walked out of the store into the cold winter afternoon.

I was walking down the road getting ready to apparate when I heard a man calling out 'MISS WAIT! I HAVE SOMETHING TO TELL YOU!' he had just come out of the book store, he had a grey suit and spectacles in the shape of stars.

I turned around and pointed at myself and mouthed 'Me?' and he nodded. I walked back at least fifty metres and sat outside the store on a bench beside the man. It was beginning to lightly snow but, he seemed like he had something important to tell me.

He offered his hand 'Names Keith, Keith Reynolds.' He said shaking my hand, 'I gave George and Fred a bank loan for their shop when they started it up…' he said but, at the same time he looked sad and I didn't exactly know why.

'My names Hermione Granger.' I said shaking his hand back 'What'd you want to tell me?' I asked politely, he seemed to know something I didn't know about George so I thought I'd listen.

'Well, I'm sure if it's for me to tell you this but, someone has to know…' my throat felt like it had a knot in it, I gave him my full attention and braced myself for what he was going to tell me.

'I heard two weeks ago from another young man who was close to George saying that George got drunk at a pub and got into a fight, he was thrown out, he went into a field alone and used a curse on himself that would bleed him out slowly and painfully…he said he was dead and that he buried the body in an unmarked location. I don't know if he had anything to do with his death but, I don't think he wanted anyone to find him.'

He looked at me, his brown eyes edging with tears and I felt myself choking. 'No…' I began crying 'I want to bring his body home to his family… they need to know what happened to him… thank you Mister Reynolds.' I said before breaking down and apparated myself to Old Man's Grove Lane.

I didn't know if to, or not to believe what I had just been told, I wanted to put an end to it.

Surely enough up a skinny walk way of field grass and dirt that was covered in a blanket of snow that went up to my shin was a small white cottage sitting alone on the top of the hill, the cold air whipped my cheeks and made me shudder.

It looked like a peaceful little cottage and isolated, just like George I could image wanted to be. I stood there in the freezing snow, I stared at my feet which had disappeared under all of the snow.

I looked at my red coat and noticed it wasn't done up, I zipped up my coat and did up the buttons, put my hood over my head and began my walk up the hill. I was freezing cold but, I think I felt even more cold at the fact my nerves were eating me.

The sky was coming over dark grey now, eating up the blue sky slowly as the wind picked up. I walked up through the snow, the soft snow swallowed my feet each time a took a foot. It took a while it was at least 70 metres up the hill.

I slowly made it to the door, the blinds were closed and the door was locked. 'George…' I called out softly and no one answered. I put my wand in front of the lock 'Alo harmora.' I said and the lock on the screen door made a click and unlocked, I held it with my left hand so it didn't close on me, I noticed the porch was nice and well maintained, the outside was lovely.

I held my wand with my right 'Alo harmora.' I said again and the front door unlocked. It opened to what could be mistaken as a dark hole like in space.

It was so dark, it smelt like off paint, a combination of strange foods, Jack Daniel's and a few other things that when combined were revolting. 'Hello?' it was late afternoon, it would be dark soon so some lighting was in order.

'Lumos.' I said and the tip of my wand lit up and I finally looked at the floor. There was what looked to be blood, many empty bottles of various alcoholic drinks, clothes, paper, glass and shit (not literal of course cause that would've made it worse) everywhere.

I walked along the edge of the walls trying to find a light switch. It was about three metres from the entry way in the hall. I switched it on and the hallway and entry lit up. The scene was worse, the ground was covered in shit and it looked like some scary house out of a horror film.

The walls were Baby boy blue, smeared with alcohol and ink, the floor was disgusting it was a total hell hole, George had to be here, or at least he had been… had I finally found George's dwelling, or would I find his final resting place? That last thought scared me and my heart began thumping, louder and louder till I could hear it like it was beside my ear… What I found at the end of the hallway would stay with me forever…


	7. Deaths Colder Than A Forever Winter

**Okay chapter 7 lots of twists and turns for the next few chapters, hope you like it more too come :)**

**Review if you want thanks for reading :)**

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I got to the end of the pale blue hallway; it was like I was standing on the edge of a cliff that I would fall into and never climb out from. I saw a switch beside my shoulder it was labelled lounge room with permanent marker, the hand writing I could only recognise as Fred's. I wouldn't have known there was a room there if I hadn't of seen the light switch. There were four doors in the hallway, all were empty except for on near the light switch.

I opened the door wider and saw there was a mattress with a blanket and pillow, the bed wasn't made and clothes were scattered around it. My heart began thumping louder again, George had to be here I was just scared of what I was going to find. I walked back out of the room and instinctively closed the door and stared out into the empty room at the end of the hallway.

The room in front of me was pitch black, no blinds were open, for Christmas eve it felt more like Halloween just without the Jackal Lanterns. I was waiting any moment for the George I used to know to pop out in a white sheet and scare the crap out of me, but he never did.

My hand quivered as I rose it towards the light switch, I put my hand on it and flicked it, with a click the whole room lit up. There were more empty bottles of scotch, Fire Whiskey and Jack Daniels, as well as a few Smirnoff's, there was more blood patches on the floor and I found this also very worrying. The whole room was a mess.

I looked around the lounge room, the fire was lit and burning and crackling quietly in the corner. The dining room was untouched, the chairs were covered in clothes and blankets, and the TV was switched off. There were a few chip packets on the floor and the kitchen that over looked the lounge room was cleaner than the rest of the place. This little cottage wasn't a happy one and it reflected the person that inhabited it.

As I walked across the thick carpet I saw a mound in the middle of the lounge room near the lounge chair. I soon realised it was George; I felt my knees buckle, my heart stop and I stopped breathing all at once. I thought he had fallen off it asleep but, as I got closer I erased that thought from ym head completely.

His back was facing towards me, it wasn't falling and rising, his arms were in front of him; his knees were in a curled up, ball like position and I felt myself falling to the ground. I fell to my knees at the sight of him, he wasn't moving and I felt paralysed at the sight of it. I went into so much shock I didn't even feel like crying, just intensely staring, I wanted to moved but, everything stopped me from doing so…

'George…?' I said seeing if there was a response, there was none, I scrambled across the floor towards him and found he wasn't moving at all, no response, as I got closer his cheeks looked blue, I sat behind him, tears rolling down my cheeks… it was at this moment I noticed a long trail of blood that had turned into a puddle in front of his stomach… my heart sank into my stomach and began crying and panicking even more.

'GEORGE!' my heart was thumping harder and harder as I realised, once I had placed my hand on his cheek that he was cold made me break down instantly I didn't want to believe it, I just couldn't accept it but, there he was lying in front of me, my heart pounding so loudly in my ear as my blood ran cold…

In front of him was an empty bottle of Jack Daniel's, his wand was in the same lifeless hand…beside his hand was a test tube with a cork in it with his tears, I stroked his cold hand 'George, I was too late, I'm sorry Georgie, I feel so useless I let you down…'

It's like he knew someone was going to find him eventually and would want to know what happened, which explained the tears in the test tube… his other hand was scrunched up with a bit of paper in it and as I looked closer trying to find where the blood was coming from I saw he had cut his wrists…

'NO GEORGE WHY? WAKE UP PLEASE WAKE UP! LIKE LAST TIME GEORGE! PLEASE WAKE UP! I LOVE YOU!' I pleaded desperately for something I knew was just about impossible at this point. I sobbed as I picked up his heavy lifeless body and held him in my arms, he had a woollen jumped on and it was the only thing that made him feel warmer than death.

I sat there holding him, kissing his soft hair and burying my face into his neck. 'GEORGE I WOULD'VE GOT HERE EARLIER! I'M SO SORRY, PLEASE FORGIVE ME! I FAILED YOU, I LOVE YOU, AND I SHOULD'VE HELPED YOU WHEN I HAD THE CHANCE! I'M SO SORRY GEORGIE, I'M SO, SO FUCKING SORRY!' my tears were falling into his hair, I wanted to kill myself but, I had to get him home and I couldn't keep this death chain going. He looked so peaceful, his orange mane was hanging over his eyes, I used my hand to move it from his face and held him against my chest. 'George…' his lips were closed, his eyes were closed it was like he had gone into a permanent sleep that he would never wake up from. 'You're an angel now… you were too much good for this world…'

I said a charm that would make the room go back to how it was before all of this mess had been acquired and when I looked at it, it was a nice decent little cottage. As I looked at George hands I saw they too had small cuts on them that looked to be from broken glass. George had been through a lot and now he was dead… I held him so tightly, he was taller than I was but I somehow managed to hold him without finding him too heavy. I just wish I was holding him when he was alive…

I couldn't stop crying, I had failed to bring him home alive… this wasn't Christmas, this was the nightmare before Christmas. The only thing I wanted for Christmas was George back and this would never be, I kissed his forehead again and again and I had no idea why 'What's it going to achieve Hermione?' I asked myself 'Fucking nothing.'

I gently picked up his left hand and unfolded his fingers I released his wand and the Jack Daniels bottle. I then looked at his right hand and unfolded his fingers to reveal the scrunched piece of paper.

I put his wand, and the piece of paper in my bag, tears couldn't stop falling down my cheeks, I had just missed him…three hours earlier I thought I would've been able to save him…

Three fucking hours DAMN IT HERMIONE YOU KILLED HIM! I felt all the guilt and hate for myself like I never had before. I know others wouldn't see it like I did but, I entrusted myself to bring him home alive and save him and I failed.

George was dead and it was all my fault… 'MY ENTIRE FUCKING FAULT.' I yelled out loud at the ceiling. I was so angry and upset I just want to scream and yell but, with George in my arms I felt like I had something else to do 'Bring him home to his family.' I said calmly, looking down at George.

I looked at him and held his lifeless hand, it was cold as ice, it was time to go home, I held onto him tightly and apparated to the Burrow outside on the lawn, there was ice on the ground but no snow, which meant it hadn't snowed yesterday and today usually. I looked up at the starry sky and looked down at George 'You're up there now…' I said as a tear rolled down my cheek.

I couldn't leave him alone to go and grab his family so I thought calling out would bring someone outside to help us. 'SOMEONE, ANYONE!' I yelled into the night, I could hear my voice echo off the walls. I looked up at the Burrow and heard the thumping of feet on the wooden steps, more than two which meant more people than I thought were there. Being it was Christmas how could I have forgotten…

I noticed Harry running on the gravel, his thick hair bouncing, the gravel crunching under his feet, getting louder as they got closer, followed by Mister Weasley; they saw and stopped in their tracks. Their mouths fell open in shock at what I had in my arms, George's legs sprawled out beside me as I held the upper half of his body up.

'GEORGIE!' yelled Mister Weasley in sheer terror and knelt beside his dead son's body. He ran his hands through his hair and looked at his sons lifeless body 'HE'S DEAD! HE'S GONE!' I yelled and cried into George's hair until Harry took him off me and gave him to Mister Weasley and Ron. He held me. 'You found him Hermione, that's all that matters.' He said looking me in the eyes.

'HE'S DEAD BECAUSE OF ME!' I said falling into his shoulder and Mrs Weasley broke down almost immediately seeing Ron and Mister Weasley, leaning over George and seeing Harry and I huddling, Ginny walked out after her mother and ran to George and hugged her family that was there.

After what seemed like hours, Mister Weasley apparated George to a funeral parlour and I went to my room to be left alone, Ginny had fallen asleep on the couch downstairs and Harry came into my room to comfort me. It was 11pm at night and I was lying on my bed staring into space and shock, someone could've thrown something at me and I cried silently, tears falling down my cheeks like a waterfall.

'Hermione…' he said walking into my room and closing the door behind him, he walked across the floor to my bedside 'Are you okay?' he asked sitting on the end of my bed as I lied there still. 'No…'

'I wish you didn't have to find what you found tonight…' he said looking at the ground, somewhat distant but he was there. 'I wanted to find him Harry… dead or alive…I don't even know why I'm crying…he's gone he's not coming back…' I replied staring up at the ceiling. 'Don't blame yourself okay?' he said, his eyes showing that he cared more than anything and wanted me to know he was there for me like he always had been, he was my best friend.

Just as I went to reply we heard Ginny call 'HARRY! WHERE ARE YOU?' he looked at me 'I gotta go, goodnight Hermione…' he hugged me and walked out of the door. 'Well I can tell Ginny I'll be a while…' he began to say but, I cut him off 'No it's fine Harry really, I'd much rather be by myself right now.' He nodded and walked towards the door 'If you need anything just tell me, we'll be in Ginny's old room.' 'Okay…' I said not even looking at him, he gave a small smile and walked out of my room, closing the door behind him.

I felt so horrible, I broke down again, holding my pillow into my face as if I was trying to suffocate myself and I saw my wand on the table. I held it in my hand my hand shaking, I couldn't stop shaking the combination of nerves and shock were too much to bare.

'You don't deserve death.' I thought, I pointed the tip of my wand at my skin and began to cut my arm with the spell well more to the point curse that Bellatrix used to put Mudblood into my skin, that was healed now, I bought Phoenix tears from a potions shop and healed it myself almost year ago now.

I bit my lip and more tears rolled down my cheek minute by minute went by as I engraved letter by letter into my forearm, After what felt like twenty minutes, I had finished it, the pain was done but not entirely gone; I had put 'I killed George…' into my arm and stared at it. 'That's right Hermione; it's your fault…' I thought to myself.

I never had felt so much guilt for anything like I felt now…I could've easily saved him if I had left earlier and if I knew Mrs Weasley was going to be okay, but I wish the day George left that I had told him I loved him. That was my biggest regret…

I went downstairs at around eleven at night once everyone had gone to bed and went to the pantry. It was filled with many things, magical healing potions, herbs and spices, some Weasley products, food of course as the Weasley's loved their food and on the very top shelf, a bottle of Fire Whiskey and other alcohols; with only at least a shot glass missing.

'Perfect, you did yourself some good on finding this.' I said to myself and grabbed a chair from the dining room table, put it at the foot of the pantry and climbed on it in order to reach the top of the cupboard. 'Got ya.' I said taking the bottle off the shelf and putting everything back, then cause I had no will to walk up the stairs, I apparated myself into my room, locked the door, put a silencing charm on my bedroom, put on some music full blast and started drinking straight from the bottle. 'If George didn't care about his life, why the fuck should I?' I lost all self-control and I hoped if I fell asleep that I'd never have to wake up.

I threw my books off the shelf, papers everywhere, smashed everything I could find, I was so full of rage, guilt and sadness that I didn't want anything that looked good in my life. If I wasn't happy nothing else shouldn't be, I cried and cried rolling on my bed screaming obscenities into the night. I didn't want to live anymore, I didn't want to, eventually I just passed out, I barely remember anything I did and I fell into a nightmare.

I just had flash backs over and over about the night that had been, I had a dream George woke up while I was holding him and grabbed my hand tightly and his eyes were red 'Come with me,..' he said deeply 'No George!' I freaked out and woke up.

I remember getting drunk, not finishing the bottle and then passing out, it was like the night before had never happened because when I woke up, everything was tidy.

I woke up to find my stereo was turned off, I flicked my wand to turn off the silencing charm but nothing happened, turns out it was already turned off, my door was unlocked and the tears that George had left in the test tube were on my bed side table.

'I must've been off my face last night…I don't remember doing any of these things…' I said shaking my head. I felt dizzy, I always kept hang over pills that George and Fred created in my top draw just in case anyone ever needed them because I barely ever drank and George was drunk a lot…

I lied back on my bed thinking about George, when Ginny walked in to tell me George's funeral was going to be tomorrow. 'Oh and Merry Christmas…' she said trying to force a smile 'You too.' She went to speak but, she just smiled and walked off, I knew on the inside she wasn't smiling, Ginny when she was sad spoke quickly and put a façade on, most the time it wasn't obvious but, this time definitely wasn't.

I grabbed the tears off my bedside table and looked at them, 'Looks like I'll have to look into the Pensieve.'

I didn't feel like getting out of bed, I was still in my pyjamas. The only thing that would give me a lust for life right now would be if George walked into my room, fully alive… I thought of his empty room across the hallway and choked on a tear. I wanted to join him but, I didn't know what good it would do the Weasley family probably couldn't handle anymore death.

I walked over to my wardrobe, flung open the doors, locked my bedroom door and muttered my special spell 'Emerge Pensieve from the darkness of my wardrobe.' What would have looked like a bird bath to a muggle moved forward from my wardrobe and slid across the floor till it was right in front of me; the bright blue lights of the special magical liquid inside made my face turn blue in my reflection.

I didn't want to do this, but with all the immense sadness I felt I could take more pain…what was an extra bit of pain going to do? I thought and decided if George wanted someone to find it, he wanted them to look at it too…

I popped the cork out of the test tube and tipped it on a 45 degree angle and watched as the tears slid out of the test tube, they swelled around in silver milky lines and I put my face in as George's world opened up to me.

'Hermione…' I heard it whisper, I saw George lying on the ground in front of me torturing himself, his wrists were bleeding 'Hermione save me!' he yelled his face filled with need and pain, his jaw clenching in pain, he put his head back in agony he was torturing himself… then flooded in another memory the time we were near the Oak tree four months ago, he was holding me as he cried 'It's okay Hermione things can only get better…'

It was a montage of some of the greatest moments in his life such as starting Hogwarts, when we first met, when he and George started making and creating Weasley products, when the Joke store opened, when we hung out alone, when he saw me at the wedding and his thoughts 'She's beautiful…' he said at one point. After at least fifty memories that had flashed before my eyes the final one as he was dying said in between tears and nervous shakes 'I'll always be there for you…' everything went black, I took my head out of the Pensieve, I felt my whole body shaking more violently then ever…

'G-G-George!' I said falling onto my bed in tears 'I'M SORRY!' I screamed into my pillow, I threw the bottle of Fire Whiskey at my wall, used my wand to get all my books off my shelf to fly off at once and hit the floor with extreme force, I destroyed everything, just like last night but, I couldn't really be sure any of that had happened.

'WHY GOD, WHY DID YOU TAKE GEORGE? WHAT THE FUCK DID HE DO TO YOU? HE'S THE ANGEL YOU HAD TO TAKE BACK! WHY?' at that moment as I threw myself back on my bed Harry and Ginny walked in and rushed over to me 'HERMIONE ARE YOU OKAY?' they said in unison. They ran over to my bed and tried to calm me down, putting their hands on my shoulders trying to get me to lie down without going crazy, but I forced them away and they just stood and looked on in helplessness.

They knew nothing was okay and at that point I thought nothing would be okay again…

Surely enough tomorrow came and it was George's funeral; I somehow managed to find the will to get myself out of bed and get ready. I wore a black skirt, stockings, sandals and coat. I was crying before I got there and it was even worse seeing everyone else crying at the funeral. All of the Weasley family had come and they all huddled together telling each other to be strong.

We went to the church; it was a cloudy snow filled day. We filed into the church and the priest sat us all down. 'We gather here today to celebrate the life of George Weasley…' no matter how much we were Wizards and Witches we all knew that proper burials and funerals were always the right way to go.

His coffin was in front of the church, sitting their menacingly, flowers sprawled all over it, dark wood encasing George's body… I had to do a speech in front of everyone…I just wanted to go over to George's coffin, jump him in there with him and die with him…

I tried my best to clear my throat…'George was to many of us an angel, a joker, a best friend…' I almost choked on my words as I cried even more 'George meant a lot to all of us, he meant a lot to me, he was there for me at time no one else was and I tried so hard to do the same for him but, I couldn't I just couldn't…George I'm sorry…I tried so hard to find you…I just wasn't quick enough…' I said crying even more. Everyone stared at me in silence which didn't help at all, till I felt Harry wrap his arms around my arm and lead me away before I had a melt down again. He knew I had deep feelings for George and that I wasn't going to get over this, it would need time. 'Hermione, this is the hardest part but, I promise it gets better.' I knew that but, I felt like it was never going to change.

'We will now play George's favourite song as we leave the church…You can't always get what you want by the Rolling Stones. 'You can't always get what you want but, if you try sometimes you get what you need' I heard the music in my ears as we followed the coffin out of the church and into the Churches graveyard next to the church. I liked it there was lots of trees and George would be near his brother, in fact right next to.

We all stood around the 6 foot hole next to Fred's grave, the Weasley family couldn't bare it and walked away from the hole once the coffin was in the grave. I stood there and through a rose on his grave 'I should've told you…' I said as everyone began to leave for his wake. I didn't want to go, I didn't want to be around anymore people, and I didn't want to be around anyone at all. I sat in front of George's grave and hoped for a better life.

I sat there all afternoon reading his headstone 'Here lies George Weasley, you will join Freddie in heaven, you are well loved and always will be. Love from mum, dad and your brothers and sister and your friends. You will be deeply missed; you're one of God's angels now.' I put my hands in my coat pocket and felt a piece of paper in it, I took it out and unravelled it, it was the one from George's hand when I had found him…but why was it in my coat?

I sprawled it out and opened it, it was for me…

_'Dear Hermione… I know by the time you read this I'll be gone…just move on with life, everything will work out well for you…life will get better, I promise. Love from George… P.S. I love you don't forget to put roses on my grave…'_

My hand began shaking again, I looked down at George's coffin, 'I love you…I didn't forget to put roses on your grave…'

I apparated back to the burrow and just lied on my bed and stared at the ceiling. 'He's gone Hermione…and he's never coming back…' I held the note in my hand and put it in the top draw of my bed side table.

A week passed and everyone appeared to get on with life, I suppose because George was gone for so long they had already accepted his death months ago, I didn't want to work for the ministry at all anymore…I didn't want too much hassles in my life now and I didn't even feel like living. The impact George had on me was enough to make me feel like I would never find anyone like George ever again. I cried every night and every morning, barely smiled, only made light conversations and was only pretending to be happy whilst at work.

I didn't like the idea of going home because I was looking at George's room every night and every morning. It made him impossible to get off my mind. I just wish I had said something earlier…and that I hadn't ignored him at the wedding…I felt more guilty about that than anything.

As I walked through Diagon Alley in mid-winter I noticed George's Joke shop was still going. The bank had put it up for sale due to George's wishes, his money was to be given to whoever bought the shop. I had no idea why he did it but, George was crazy, I spose he had no one else to give it to… I approached the Joke shop and on the front window it had a sign 'Under new management' it was now called 'The Weasley Joke Shop' I appreciated the fact they kept Weasley in the name so that its original roots weren't forgotten.

He had died almost a month ago now and each day was getting harder to get by. I wanted to cry when I saw that George would never be in here again…I walked half way across the shop admiring the fact that every single one of the Weasley creations had been kept and a few one's added from the new management, but who were they? Who was the person keeping this place still going? Were they someone George had known?

I saw a young man standing near some children showing them how he could make white rabbits turn rainbow, the smiles on their faces read that they were impressed and I was surprised the Weasley twins hadn't come up with it earlier.

He looked up from the rabbit and looked directly at me and gave a friendly smile he had a mop top like a Beatle, chocolate brown hair, bright blue eyes, a few freckles, a nice suit and shoes. He was handsome, my heart fluttered at the sight of him but, when I went to say hello an image of George rushed through my mind and I stopped. Although I had never went out with George, I felt like I had known him my whole life and that all the love I felt for him was too immense to want to go with anyone else.

During this time he was still looking at me I stood their frozen not knowing what to do, I didn't want to feel like I did, it made me feel guilty…even if George and I didn't have anything and the fact he was gone…

I felt like I did when I had seen George at Harry and Ginny's wedding, how sexy he looked…these thoughts made me sad and it must've been obvious.

'Hello Miss…Are you okay?' he asked softly, not breaking eye contact with me. 'Um…sure…' I said not at all like I was fine so I wasn't very good at acting. 'My names Hermione Granger.' I said putting out my hand to introduce myself 'My names Jimmy Crafty.' His last name made me giggle and I felt like such an idiot. 'Is there anything I can do for you?' he asked 'No, I was just looking…I saw this place was under new management, my best friend George Weasley used to own this place, I'm glad you kept his last name in here and all of his products.' I added.

'Thanks, I was a friend of his we used to go to the Leaky Cauldron together.' 'I don't recall meeting you.' I said a bit puzzled at the fact George had never mentioned him. 'I'm Mr Hurt's nephew.' He said and I nodded 'Oh, that makes sense.' he smiled gently 'Well I'm glad to see you have appreciated what I've done for the place, I hope you stop in again.' He said shyly and blushing and I'm pretty sure I was too and I had no fucking idea why, was my life actually turning around?

I walked out of the store feeling light headed and walked back to my book store 'He seemed like a nice guy.' I said to myself and went on the rest of the day with a bit of hope for my future, but my heart still ached every time I thought of George. 'I guess I'll have to move on with life…' I said to myself which almost bought tears out of my eyes and onto my cheeks.

As the weeks passed by England welcomed spring and I got to know Jimmy, he was smart, talented, respectful, funny and charming. He was like George in some ways just like how he was before Fred had died. Jimmy and I went and had our lunch breaks together and spent a lot of time helping him with spells.

Over the weeks I began to fall in love with him. He was amazing in every possible way and helped me the best he could with being depressed but, he knew some scars never healed and accepted it. We talked about George sometimes and he thought talking about it would make me feel better, it in a way did but, no matter what we did I couldn't erase any of the pain.

On the first day of February he and I were sitting in the Leaky cauldron drinking some Butter beers and chatting about work and about heaps of random things like friends do. I caught him looking at me a few times and I wanted him to say something because he was making me laugh. When he was nervous he didn't stop moving the whole time. I was waiting because eventually he was going to spit it out.

'Hermione.' He said softly as he looked into my eyes and I felt him put his arm around my shoulder, it made me freeze and my heart was pounding. 'Yes Jimmy?' I asked hanging onto every word and movement he was making 'Do you want to go to dinner with me tomorrow night?' he asked with a jolt in his throat that sounded like he wouldn't want me to say no.

'Of course, why yes I will.' I said and he kissed me on the cheek 'You've got no idea how much you mean to me Hermione…you really have no idea and I wish I could tell you but, there's way too much to say and some of it you may feel like it's a lie but, it's not but I feel head over heels for you.' He said looking me in the eyes with such love and emotion.

I wrapped my arms around his neck and hugged him 'Thank you Jimmy…You've turned my life around…' as I put my head on his shoulder I imagined I was holding George and stopped and looked at Jimmy.

'Is something wrong?' he asked. 'No everything, is perfect.' I said kissing him on the cheek and he smiled. Maybe life was going to take a turn for the better…


	8. To Know One Is To Not Know Another

**Okay chapter 8, in this chapter it just continues on from the last...as chapters do :), review if you want, hope you like it, if you don't you don't that's fine, if you do that's find also. Hope you guys are liking the story so far, trying to make it interesting so tell me what you think. Thanks :)**

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Since that February day, I had barely felt alone again, we started off slow, only seeing each other a few days a week and giving only a kiss on the cheek, we didn't see the point in rushing, why rush something? Love takes time.

I slowly began to fall in love with Jimmy more and more as time progressed, he was everything I wanted in a man and he would tell me he was everything he wanted from a girl as previous relationships hadn't been that good.

He was so easy to talk to, I felt my heart melting each time we spoke and I thought I had found the best love in the whole world. Over the months we got closer, going from a kiss on the cheek to snogging, he was my best friend and I hoped nothing would ever change, after all life had finally taken a turn for the better, at last.

'You're beautiful Hermione…' he'd say when I'd kiss him good night and I'd tell him how much he meant to me which made him stay longer and hold me till I went to sleep. He was so warm, I could stay in his arms forever, I'd roll over and hold him and he'd end up falling asleep beside me and then leaving during the night when I had rolled over again.

It was now summer and we were seeing each other every day, we were thick as thieves and trusted telling each other with everything, each kiss meant forever, each hold meant I'll never let you go.

We had been going out since February but, it felt like it had been so much more and the Weasley's believed I had made a very good choice, Mrs Weasley treated me like a second daughter, helping me get ready for dates and giving me advice on how to know if he is the one, I still wasn't certain but I think I was getting close. She explained it as like a bolt of lightning striking you, like you could never feel any better at any other time and it wouldn't matter that your hair had probably set a light in the process.

One night chilly July night Jimmy came over and we were sitting on my bed, listening to the rain as it pelted the roof and the entire Burrow, it was romantic and I fell in love more and more with Jimmy. He looked into my eyes with his bright blue eyes and I lost myself in them, I felt so calm with him and I couldn't imagine what I'd do without him.

We were looking at different spells books trying to find new recipes for joke products and laughing over some stupid ideas like acid and weed but we knew as mostly kids were there it wouldn't be a good look. He was like a child immature, but had the heart of a man, he slipped his hand into mine and I felt like I never wanted to let go.

'Jimmy…' I began to say as I looked deep into his blue eyes, my hands fiddling with his and feeling how warm it was, it gave me a weird fuzzy feeling on the inside.

'Yes Hermione?' he asked looking at me with a soft smile on his face, Jimmy was always happy around me, he was like a guiding light for me and I felt safe with him. He and I would help each other no matter what problem we had and would try our best not to stop talking about it till it was over. I thought he was the best thing to happen to the both of us I just hoped life got better and continued getting better.

'I know we've only been going out for a few months…but do you ever think we could be more…?' I asked, trying to word it in a way that wouldn't make him feel uncomfortable. He sort of looked and I gave him a smile back trying to make it seem like I was more comfortable than I really was.

In actual fact I was nervous 'What are you doing Hermione asking him this? You seem so fucking desperate to walk down the aisle…even though you love him, more than you've ever loved anyone.'

He looked at me, resting his hand behind his head so his head didn't hit the hard wood of the bed rest because after a while that thing could get really fucking annoying on your head.

'You mean like getting married?' he asked somewhat distantly and somewhat like he wanted to, yet somewhat like he wasn't sure. Basically it was like he was in a severe state of confusion at this point. He turned his blue eyes away from me and I knew he felt uncomfortable.

I nodded, twisting one of my curls tightly in nervousness 'I mean like…I really love you Jimmy…' he looked at me and then looked away again, his wavy hair covering the side of his face I was looking at. I knew I wasn't dumb book smart wise but, when it came to real life I was really fucking confused but, to what I saw his signals weren't telling me much.

'Is there something wrong Jimmy?' I asked, he looked away, still not giving me any eye contact at all and my heart began beating in nervousness… my hand went cold, his hand slipped out of mine uncomfortably, so uncomfortably that he had to shake it loose.

He put his hands in between us and sat on the end of my bed, he didn't look at me and it worried me a lot. 'Jimmy, are you okay?' I asked putting my hand on his shoulder, he shrugged it off.

'Um I gotta go Hermione, sorry…' he got up, his jacket was hanging off his shoulder, he adjusted it bringing it over his shoulders and walked out of my room without saying goodbye, not even an 'I love you' or a 'Goodbye'.

'Jimmy?' I called out and he closed me door and apparated. I looked at my closed door, I knew he was gone there was no point confirming something I already knew. Just as someone had left my life, another walked in, and they were gone again.

'What'd I do…?' I thought to myself. 'Did I hurt his feelings? Did I rush him? What'd I do wrong?' I asked myself so many questions tossing and turning on my bed. I didn't want to hassle him at this time of night, it wasn't worth it.

'Maybe he doesn't love you as much as you think he did Hermione…' I thought to myself as my eyes edged with tears. It had been a while since they did so naturally once I started I wasn't going to stop, I felt like my soul was being sucked out by a Dementor, only this Dementor was called life…

I went to sleep that night wondering looking up at the ceiling and just wondering 'What the fuck did I do?' I thought for a moment 'Maybe he never loved you…' my mind was shooting negativity like a fucking sawn off shot gun. 'Why don't I just lay down and die…?'

Why Jimmy had just left so oddly, how he didn't even care to take one look at me, not a word, nothing, not even an eye staring glance and it made me feel even worse just nothing about it, it made me feel like I meant fucking nothing…

I tried going to sleep so many times and kept waking myself up with horrible thoughts. I didn't want it be over even though by now I had pretty much conceded that it was already over… I had a bad feeling and as much as I wanted to be wrong, I knew I could just tell that I was going to be right…

I thought I'd see him tomorrow, surprise visit him and apologise and ask him about tonight I thought staring at the ceiling at 3am. I felt so cold; I pulled my doona over me and wrapped it around me like a cocoon.

So I drifted off to sleep for what felt like the 70th time. Only this time I began dreaming and saw George sitting on the end of my bed 'Forget about him Hermione…' I woke up sweating, I hadn't dreamt about George in at least three months. Sweat dripped off my hair and I felt a cold tingle going down my neck. 'It was just a dream Hermione…' but, deep in the back of my mind I wished it wasn't…

I fell back asleep and saw him again, he was lying on the floor, and his eyes opened 'Hermione.' He called reaching out his hands; the image was haunting it sent so many chills down my spine 'Take my hand…' he said reaching out to me. I was so terrified that I woke up instantly. 'I don't want to live in a world without love…' I thought as I woke up briefly, a tear slid down my cheek and hit my pillow leaving a small puddle.

I woke up the next morning and didn't want to get out of bed; I didn't see why… why should I get out of bed? When all that I would awake to would just be more disappointment, I felt like the last few months had been a waste of time, I spent so much time trying to be happier that in the end it just made me so angry that I had even bothered.

I decided to go to George's grave to visit, I felt bad that I had basically forgotten him till now, all those months I spent trying to get over his death not once did I ever come back here. I got up, had a shower, put my jeans, sandals, a blouse and a cardigan on and brushed my hair.

I apparated to St. George's Church, the irony of it all was just too much, the trees blew gently in the wind, I walked to his grave, through the lawn and gardens lying in the corner under some trees were two headstones, that of Fred and George Weasley.

I wanted to do something special for them both; I pulled out my wand and made a bunch of roses on George's grave and a bunch of sunflowers on Fred's. I wished they were still alive, together cracking jokes and I wished I was with George more than anything. I couldn't understand how I could be with Jimmy for so long and still prefer George…there was just something about him…I just wanted him back…

'Hi George…it's been awhile…' I said as a tear rolled down my cheek, staining it with a small stream down my neck. I sat in front of his grave, twisting the soft lush grass in my hands, there more life in that then what lied below the grass. I sat there for a while and then made the sign of the cross 'Look after him Freddie.' I said and I exited the church ground. I walked up the road, along the bakery, the corner store and a few small boutiques, at the end of the street was the funeral parlour George was taken to the night he died.

'I wonder if they…' I didn't know why but, my brain stopped at the idea of whatever I was trailing onto. I instinctively felt like going to the funeral parlour, I had a suspicion that there was something I needed to know, something that hadn't been known before.

I walked in, and all the walls were white, it didn't look like a morbid place, but, it sure as hell felt like it 'Hello Miss can I help you?' said the receptionist 'My friend George Weasley was from this parlour a few months ago…I just wanted to know if his gold watch was ever taken back here, his father said they took it off…' I was lying so that it seemed like I had a reason to be there.

The lady went through her files. 'George Weasley?' she said puzzled, I never put in anyone's files for George Weasley…' she said flipping through her files under W and then G to see if it was misplaced.

'What?' I said shocked 'That's weird…' she looked up over her thick black rimmed glasses 'Are you sure it was this funeral parlour?' she asked 'Yes, that's what I was told and that's what I believe…' I said 'I'd be so stupid if I got the wrong parlour…'

'I'll go check for you… hang on…' she said puzzled and more confused than ever and walked through the curtains behind her and I heard muffled voices in the background from behind the curtains for about five minutes then a man with a balding head and a black suit walked into the room, his hands gloved.

'Miss, please come see me…' he said motioning his hand towards himself and then pointing in another direction. I followed him around the desk to an office door that read 'Mr Dodd'; he opened the door, it was a cream room, with two large brown wooden chairs in front and put his gloves on the table.

'Please sit down.' He said motioning to his desk in a nervous tone. I sat down at the chair in front of his desk.

'What's going on?' I asked 'Miss there was a backroom deal so to speak, basically…George Weasley's body was ushered out of here after his father had left. A young man gave my co-worker five thousand galleons, to put a dummy in it and let him take off with the body. That young man as I understand it now owns a joke shop in Diagon alley.' He said giving me his full attention the entire time; he was stern and very serious. 'How come no one told me?' I said to myself.

'Wait…what? George was never or isn't in that grave? George was never put into the system? Some young guy who owns the shop now…' I said as my brain clicked and so many questions needed to be answered. My heart was beating 'Did Jimmy kill George?' I thought to myself.

'Sir was his name Jimmy, Jimmy Crafty, the man with the bribe I mean?' my heart pounding hoping to god it wasn't him… the man took a while to think about it 'Why now you mention it I think it was…' he said going through his diary to see if there was a specific date. 'He owns it now…?' he said checking with me and I nodded.

'Sir I have to go…' I said standing up from the chair, shaking his hand and walking out of the office door and walking outside the funeral parlour.

I didn't know what I had to do or what I was going to do but, I figured the best thing to do was confront Jimmy. If anyone knew anything it was him, I then apparated to Jimmy's house, I arrived on his front doorstep in Surrey where he lived, his two story house standing out above the rest of the one story homes that occupied the area.

I was shocked to find that neither Jimmy nor any of his belongings were there. The cream walls in the hallway were bare, normally there were framed pictures on both sides, I walked into his room everything was gone, the kitchen scrapped, no notes no nothing. 'Why had he left?' I asked myself finding it rather odd the events of today and yesterday was rather odd.

What? I thought to myself, one day he's here and he just disappears without a trace? It was weird beyond weird, it was fucking insane most of all I thought why me? Why could nothing good at all happen to me, it was fucking depressing. I felt like all my life would ever be was one a trail of broken heartedness and disappointment.

I looked around all his rooms, dining room everywhere 'Jimmy!' my heart was pounding… 'Not again…you lost another one again…' I leant against a wall as my heart was pumping so hard I just wanted to break down and cry, and as much as I wanted to I held back, I was sick of crying, it's all I ever felt I did.

I couldn't be fucked with it so I decided to leave his place and apparated to Harry and Ginny's house in Godric's Hollow.

I ended up in their kitchen and walked towards their lounge room, framed pictures of Harry's parents, their wedding photos, photos from school and of course them on their first date.

'Yeah Harry c'mon baby!' I heard Ginny screaming at the top of her lungs from what appeared to be a fair way away 'Um…did I just walk in to them having fun…?' I asked myself, it was coming from downstairs in their bottom level room where they had a pool table.

'HARRY!' I called out and I heard them go dead silent 'Hermione's upstairs?' questioned Harry and I heard Ginny say 'That's embarrassing… HERMIONE WE WERE JUST PLAYING POOL!' I laughed to myself and went downstairs, playing pool or playing something else? I asked myself grinning.

'Don't worry we weren't doing anything…' said Ginny looking embarrassed, she didn't look like she had just been doing anything, she looked to damn tidy. 'Where's Jimmy?' asked Harry as he wrapped his arms around his wife's waist and Ginny gave a kissy face 'Maybe buying her a wedding ring…' said Ginny laughing.

My heart sank when she said that, my face fell in sadness… 'Actually I was wondering if you had seen him…' I said looking at the ground so if tears were coming to my eyes they couldn't see it.

'Hermione what's wrong?' asked Harry I sat down on the burgundy lounge chair near the pool table. 'I feel like shit… I asked him last night if he thought about marriage, he got up and left, I went to his place this morning and he was gone, everything was gone!' I shouted angrily and sure enough I started crying.

'Aw…don't worry I'm sure he has a reason…' said Ginny trying to help.

'Gin, I don't think Jimmy's coming back, if he does something like that to a human being… who just wants love and nothing else and he dumps her… sorry for being harsh but, I won't let Hermione play the fool again.' He said putting his arm around me 'I just wish George was alive… he had something to do with it…' they both looked at me like I was crazy.

'Seriously?' they said in unison like I really was fucking crazy.

'Look I went to the funeral parlour this morning, I don't know why, long story shortly after Mister Weasley dropped George's body off, Jimmy paid five thousand for the body and took him somewhere. I don't know if he was the one that killed George I'll never know I guess… I JUST WANT TO DIE!' they both looked at me stunned, stunned at my accusations and at the words coming out of my mouth, both with their jaws dropped.

'Look don't say anything to anyone else…' I said looking at my hands rubbing them to warm them up.

'Hermione this is important mum and dad would wanna know, but I won't I promise…just find that prick…' she said and Harry nodded. 'Sure…' truth was I didn't feel one bit like finding someone else, last time I tried to find someone I had feelings for they turned up dead.

I went home that afternoon and had a long nap, as I felt like never waking up…everyday started to turn into a struggle, just like last time. Weeks went by summer turned into Autumn, all I thought about was killing myself, all I ever saw was people together, I didn't move out of the Burrow because I felt safe there, like no one could hurt you here in the Burrow and I was glad.

I started drinking more and more, I couldn't come home without an urge to drink myself to sleep, sometimes I destroyed my room only to fix it up again the next day, other times I'd just lie on my bed and just stare into darkness and not move a muscle and stay awake all night. All I constantly thought about was death.

As the days went by, I just lost all interest in life completely, like one side of my life had been shut down entirely, seeing couples upset me and I just didn't want anything to do with life, or living. I promised myself a long time ago that I wouldn't kill myself for everyone else's sake, but I thought fuck them I'll do what I want, it's my life… I was sick of not being happy and this would put an end to it, the never ending disappointments and heart break of the past year was enough to make anyone feel like throwing themselves off a tall building but I thought it was a reasonable thing to do.

It was a Friday night mid-August, I had closed up shop for the week, I apparated myself back home and got into the Jack Daniels I had under my bed. 'May as well drink myself to death…' I said as I lied on my bed, sprawled out, feeling the doona under my back made me feel like I was on a cloud.

I began tossing thoughts in my head. 'Why don't I kill myself…?' I tried to think of a good place and I finally thought of the best place. I apparated to the cliff walk at a beach where I liked to go with George when he was alive. We'd walk up there when we were down and just watch the ocean's waves crash on the rocks.

I walked up the path, this time alone it was dark almost completely except for the moonlight which gave everything a silvery glow.

I held out my wand, noticing my hand quivering 'Lumos.' I said as the tip of my wand lit the way, I could see the glow reflecting off my jeans and my black skivvy; I was still holding the Jim Beam and drank it as I walked up the hill to the top of the cliffs. Tripping on rocks occasionally and losing my balance.

I was getting tipsy and stumbled, falling to my knees and sliding my arms out across the rock to the cliffs edge and felt my knees scrape. 'Fuck!' I called out and it echoed off the walls of the cliffs only to be broken by the crashing of waves against the rocks on the foot of the cliffs.

The rocks were smooth and wet, it must've been raining or the sea spray had reached up here 'Do you want this Hermione? Do you really want this?' I thought to myself as a tear rolled down my cheeks and with a small sound hit the rocks near my hands.

I felt the smooth rock under my hands and looked down at the ocean, it was tempting…'Hermione…' the wind howled. 'George, I'll be with you soon…' I stood up and looked down over the cliff, I went to take a foot forward to get closer to the edge, the wind whipped my cheeks, I felt the chill going down my spine, I wanted it to carry me off.

Out of the corner of my ear as I took a step out over the cliff I heard someone call my name 'Hermione!' they yelled and I turned around and saw Jimmy. He was standing at the top of the hill across from where I was standing.

'J-Jimmy wh-what are you doing here?' I stuttered out dropping the bottle on the ground in shock as my hands began shaking nervously. 'I have to talk to you, look I'm sorry I walked out on you, we've got to talk…' he grabbed my hand and apparated us down to the beach in a split second.

I stumbled across the sand as he held my hand and tried to find somewhere suitable to sit on the beach eventually sat me down with him.

'Here take this…' He gave me some lolly must've been from the joke shop, because five minutes later I was sober, it tasted like off fruit. 'Oh good God what the fuck was that?' I said coughing trying to get the taste out of my mouth.

'Sobering up lolly.' He said with a small smile, I looked at him and couldn't help but give a smile in return 'You saved my life…' 'I couldn't let you kill yourself.' He said looking sad but, still looking me in the eyes.

'So can you do me a favour?' I said slightly angry, glaring at him because I felt like he just didn't care about me and turns up when he feels like it. 'What?' Tell me what the fuck has been going on?' he went quiet and stared at the sand, putting a fist in and letting it fall to the sandy floor.

'I know you know something I don't, I know about the money you gave to the funeral parlour! Tell me right now!' I said yelling, tears ran down my cheeks, weeks and weeks of nothing and he thinks everything is fine? What was wrong with him? Why did he turn up now?

'Hermione… how'd you…?' he trailed off, his mouth gaped open like he couldn't believe I had found out something. 'WHAT'D YOU DO TO GEORGE!' I yelled angrily. 'You weren't supposed to find out…' he said in shock.

'FIND OUT WHAT TELL ME RIGHT NOW JIMMY, REVEAL TO ME EVERYTHING, WHY YOU LEFT, DID YOU LIE TO ME THIS ENTIRE TIME? TELL ME WHO YOU REALLY ARE JIMMY!' I yelled in frustration, I wanted to cry but, I held back.

He looked at me calmly, he was twitching and couldn't stop moving his hands, he was deep in thought, my chest was heaving from all the yelling and I wanted to know the truth. I wanted to know it there and then and I needed to know what all of this had to do with George. I hated being lied to and right now I felt like I couldn't trust anyone…

'I'll tell you… but not here…wait I just need to go…' he stood up and apparated, I sat there alone on the beach, listening to the waves crashing, looking out on the distant horizon, listening to the wind howling and staring up at the stars wishing I was up there with George. I looked down at my lap and realised I had sand all over my jeans and I stood up and brushed it off.

After ten minutes Jimmy came back 'I'm going to take you somewhere, but it's a secret, close your eyes and take my hand…' I looked into his eyes and for some reason trusted him, my hand was shaking and I reluctantly took it.

When I opened my eyes again we were outside a big iron gate in front of an old dark mansion 'Don't be scared…' he whispered as I looked at the stone gargoyles perched on the pylons holding up the gate. 'Was he going to kill me too?' I asked myself before walking closer to the fence.

Jimmy ran his wand down the middle of the gate; gold light followed it and swirled around the locks and the gates pushed open, we walked across the gravel path to the front door, the doors were big and black, candles were in lanterns on either side of the door.

This place looked scary, like out of the Adams family or something, we approached the door, my heart was pounding 'Am I a sacrifice for something?' I thought as I walked behind Jimmy, I wanted to find his hand but, I was reluctant to do so…I was looking at the hedges around the fences, the clean lawns and the water fountain. 'What is this place?' I asked Jimmy 'Only in good time…' he said slowly and stared at the door. He seemed nervous… why was he nervous?

We approached the door and Jimmy knocked using the massive metal door knocked 'When the door opens turn right, go up the stairs and go to the first room on the left, the man to tell you everything is there, I had nothing to do with this Hermione… I'm sorry…Well I sort of did but…oh don't worry, I really am sorry.' He said as he put his arms around me and hugged me, but not like he usually did more in a friendly way like Harry.

My heart was pounding 'Was there dark forces leading me here? Was this a trap?' it was too late now…there was no turning back… 'I wish I hadn't turned around when Jimmy called…' I thought and then, as we stood in the entry way on the veranda, I saw the big black doors creaked open slowly…


	9. Not Waited For So Long

**I didn't like how chapter 9 and 10 were going so I redid them, sorry :)**

**Hope you enjoy thanks for reading rate and review if you wish it'd be much appreciated**

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**_My heart was pounding 'Was there dark forces leading me here? Was this a trap?' it was too late now…there was no turning back… 'I wish I hadn't turned around when Jimmy called…' I thought and then, as we stood in the entry way on the veranda, I saw the big black doors creaked open slowly… _**

I stared at the mansion doors, wondering at that point if I was ever going to walk out of there alive…judging by the looks of it only, it appeared I wouldn't be.

The mansion opened up to us, the door coming to a halt echoing off the walls as they stopped against the walls, I looked around the entry, the floors were chequered like a chess board in marble, marble pylons held up the ceiling on either side of the stair case that was covered in a velvet red rug with gold trim on the outer line, the chandelier hung in the entry way only lighting up the entry way and the foot of the stairs.

I turned towards Jimmy, he was standing there with his arms folded and a very serious and concerned look on his face, his lips were pursed and his eyes were staring upwards at the ceiling 'Go.' He said motioning his eyes towards the stair case.

I turned back around and faced the stairs, slowly walking over to the stairs and looked up 'Okay Hermione…first room on the left…' I said to myself. I took a step forward and began climbing the staircase to the top where I'd meet the man who owned this strange place.

As I walked up the stairs the stairway lit itself up, it looked pretty, but it couldn't stop the uneasy feeling I had in the pit of my stomach, the rose coloured walls had nothing on them, not a single picture, there was at least twenty steps, the rug felt soft beneath my shoes, I continued up the stairs hesitantly and came to a long hallway, each with 3 doors on each side, behind me was down the hallway on the other side was a massive dining room with a fire burning.

I saw two closed doors on the right side of the hallway 'First on the left…' I whispered to myself I approached the large wooden door, I knocked on the door quietly. There was silence, my heart was beating louder in my ear, I was shaking all over from so much nerves.

I lifted up my hand closer to the door, right in the centre of the dark wood and knocked three more times. I heard something in the room 'Come in.' said a muffled man's voice. I hesitantly grasped the door handle and twisted it, I walked through the doorway and saw a desk at the opposite side of the room; a royal blue rug that looked like a serpent its tail at the entry and its head at the table.

I couldn't see anyone at the large desk; it was so dark in there. A fire was crackling in the corner where some photo frames sat on the ledge, the floor was wooden, there was a few windows with lace curtains drawn back to look at the moon and stars. It looked beautiful, but the darkness gave the room an eerie ad mysterious feel.

'Hello?' I said hoarsely, the taste of Jim Beam still in my mouth and a knot in my stomach didn't make me feel any better. 'Sit down.' Said the voice again, this time deeper and more demanding, I couldn't pick out anyone I could possibly relate his voice to, there was a leather chair at the front of the table and in front of me the chair was facing the window, turned away from me completely, so much so that I couldn't see any of the person that was apparently in the chair, the window looked like an arch way the reflection of the tree behind it shone through and danced on the wall as it swayed in the breeze.

I pulled the chair back towards me and sat down, trying to relax myself into its softness, it was spongy and made me feel comfortable. I looked at the desk; there were books, calculators, stacks of papers, a diary and quills with many different ink, parchment, note books and lots of other stationary.

'You must be wondering why I bought you hear _Hermione…'_ the way he said my name made me chill, my heart skipped a beat. 'How do you…?' I saw the hand on the arm of the chair move upwards and the room lit up with a brilliant chandelier, decorated with many crystals.

'I…' he stopped, I couldn't see his head over the back of the chair, the back of the chair was long and a deep red colour, and it was leather like mine, he must've been very wealthy because everything in this mansion was in no way cheap.

'S-Sir…?' I stuttered out, fidgeting with my hands and my skivvy sleeves 'I don't know why I bought you hear Miss…just you know too much…' he said trailing off. 'So are you…are you going to kill me…?' I said nervously, almost choking on my words, I was scared in a place I've never been, with someone I thought I knew who had bought me here and now I was in this place alone.

'No…that wouldn't be suitable…' he said softly, he made a small noise; I could sense a smirk but, I tried to stay calm. 'Who are you?' I demanded starting to get more desperate to find who I was talking to. The fact I couldn't see his face bothered me a lot.

'You _know_ who I am…don't pretend you don't…' he scolded, he moved his arm off the arm rest and the chair moved slightly. I stared blankly, 'I better go…' I said lifting myself up a bit from the chair, he lifted his hand, this time with a wand in it and the door slammed shut and locked. My heart jumped and I felt my heart begin to pump harder 'You're not going anywhere…' he said harshly. 'Please Sir…don't hurt me…' I pleaded, I didn't want to sound scared but, it was impossible not to, I was terrified.

'If I reveal to you who I am, don't say a word until I ask you to, understood?' I went dead silent; did I really want to know who it was? What if he turned around and used the killing curse on me? 'O-Okay…' I said clenching my fists in fear.

The chair began to move slowly, I heard shoes shuffling and when it had fully revolved I sat there in shock… 'George…' the name escaped my mouth, my heart felt warm but, I was still nervous… What if it wasn't him…?

He looked at me, his blue eyes looking directly into mine, his red/orange mane resting on his shoulders; his facial expression was serious, like he hadn't smiled in years. My mouth gaped open in shock and disbelief that I was basically looking at a dead man.

'You were dead…I saw you, you were in my arms dead!' I shouted in some astonishment as well as total shock that George was in front of me. 'I asked you not to speak until you were spoken to.' He said sternly and I shut myself up.

'Hermione…I just don't know what to say…I mean, I remember being in your arms, I remember you telling me how much you loved me…' he said raising an eyebrow and giving a cheeky smile, I bit my lip, only he and I would've known I said that…it was definitely George…

My mind filled up with so many questions 'George what's happened to you? Why'd you do what you did?' he was taken aback… he rolled his eyes mockingly like he couldn't be fucked listening to what I had to say.

'I don't feel I should tell you explicit details of my plan.' He said seriously and looking at the whiskey on his side table. 'I want to know… I've got to know George…I've been so fucked up over you and you do this to me?' 'To you? What about everything I went through…it was hard for the both of us I'll admit but, it's not all about you…' he shot back. He was right how could I be so selfish, I knew he had been through a lot more shit than I had and I felt bad about it.

He shrugged 'You're better off without me…you don't need me…I tried to show you that by setting you up with Jimmy…' he said cruelly, he knew exactly what he was doing and he didn't give a fuck.

'George…I thought I could trust you!' I said, tears edging my eyes, my cheeks feeling hot from all the anger. 'I wanted Jimmy to be there for you, everything I wasn't and can never be to you… just he didn't want to marry you and I felt the same…I don't want anyone to have you Hermione…' he said not breaking eye contact, 'Call me what you want but, I can't help myself…'

'I just don't even think I could have you…' he said staring at the table then looked up at me, his face reading all over that he was sad. 'I planned this from the start…Hermione I do love you, deeply and truly, just I know we can never be…I don't deserve you…' he said looking at the ground. 'THEN WHY DID YOU LEAVE ME?' I shouted back, I wished at this point I had jumped off the cliff tonight, would've saved a world of pain.

He shook his head 'Complicated…Hermione if I told you everything what good is a story…?' he said trying to confuse me and he did a good job, it didn't make much sense… 'But, you wanted to be dead…' I said slowly. I watched his eyes fill with anger. His moods changed continuously I knew he had definitely snapped now and it made me feel frightened even though I wanted to help him.

'I was Hermione…but, at the last minute I thought why not fake it so I could leave everyone in my life alone and they could all feel like I was gone and not have to worry about me, I didn't see the point of being at home, fucking depressing shit hole…I couldn't stand them not being able to get over Fred, they didn't need me…' he said angrily. 'George, they love you…' I began to say but, he cut me off…I shut up and just listened, I didn't want him to yell at me anymore.

'Love me? HA! Sure they could say nice things but, no one cared to find me, Freddie was the better twin, if I died life would be better…I don't deserve death so I faked it, I fucking faked it Hermione because I'm a sick mother fucker. I wanted everyone to forget about me, I wanted you to get on with your fucking life so I had to set you up but, the idea of you in someone else's hands made me angry…no matter how much I wanted your life to be better… Hermione I'm better off pretending to be dead, I don't want anything to do with anyone, and I just want to live my life in solitary…' he said getting more and more angry, he stood up and walked over to his Whisky bottle, untwisted the bottle and skulled it. 'Why kill yourself when you can live like you're dead?' he murmured. I looked at him stunned and I felt sorry for him 'Don't pity me…' he said quietly but, loud enough for me to hear.

'George…you…' he cut me off again 'DON'T BOTHER CONVINCING ME TO GO BACK, I'M STILL A SUCCESS, STILL RUNNING MY STORE, STILL BEING ME JUST WITH NO STRINGS OR ATTACHMENTS TO ANYONE ELSE! I'M SO SICK OF PEOPLE I'M SO HAPPY LIVING IN THIS PLACE! LIVING IN DARKNESS, FEELING THE COLD, LIVING ON MY OWN IN SOLITARY! I WANT NOTHING TO DO WITH ANYONE! DON'T YOU GET IT? I DIDN'T HAVE TO KILL MYSELF TO BE DEAD I'M STILL DEAD, I DON'T FEEL ANYTHING AND NOTHING CAN MAKE ME FEEL ALIVE! NOTHING DO YOU UNDERSTAND?' he was throwing stuff across the room in a rage 'George…' I began to say…

'GEORGE…' he mocked in a girly tone 'SHUT UP! YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE ME; YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE TO BE FUCKING INSANE! YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE SO HURT IT'S LIKE YOU'RE NOT LIVING! NIGHT AND DAY, DAY AND NIGHT I JUST WANT TO FORGET ABOUT THE WORLD AND LIVE OFF MY RICHES IN PEACE! BUT NO YOU HAD TO GO ATTEMPT SUICIDE AND YOU HAD TO SUCK ME BACK INTO LIFE! I DON'T WANT TO SEE ANYONE!' he looked so angry, his hair was messy from his hands pulling at his head when he was shouting and he looked washed out of energy.

_My heart was pounding, my veins rushing blood around my body in an alcohol fuelled rage and in front of me sitting in the chair quivering was the only girl I ever really loved. I felt an urge to yell at her more; instead I walked across the wooden floor to her chair, leaning down my face inches from hers. Her eyes widened in fear 'You're so beautiful…' I said pushing my lips to hers, feeling their softness, I couldn't control myself around her I felt like a monster, I pulled back._

_'GET OUT HERMIONE! JUST GO!' she looked at me, she was gasping, her eyes widened by what had just happened and she was like a deer in head lights. Her fear turned to anger and she began yelling 'GEORGE YOU ANIMAL! WHAT THE FUCK HAS HAPPENED TO YOU? YOU'RE FUCKING INSANE!' she yelled tears rolling down her cheeks. She stood up, her chest heaving against her skivvy, her knees trembling, her feet planted to the ground. 'YOU LIED TO ME YOU ASS HOLE! YOU LIED TO ME, I FUCKING HATE YOU GEORGE WEASLEY! I FUCKING HATE YOU!' she repeated, her words tearing at my soul…I just did what I thought was right…I guess I was wrong…_

I felt so angry, so much pain, my heart was aching, and my lip was quivering, my knees and the rest of me shaking in fear of what was going to happen next. 'JUST GO AWAY!' I stood up, he looked at me shocked and his face turned to sadness, I didn't give a fuck… I walked towards the door and apparated back to my room. I locked my door and ran to my bed and collapsed onto it crying. 'WHY WOULD HE DO THAT?' I yelled balling my eyes out and squeezing my pillow. All the lies, the set up…I just wished he was honest with me…but at the same time I wished I said something when he couldn't.

I had been tricked and toyed with and for what? There was no fucking point at all to any of it and it made me more and more angry and convinced that he was just a prankster jerk and always would be. At one point a year ago I thought he was the sweetest guy I could ever have the joy of knowing…I was so wrong…

After about an hour of crying I just lied there on my bed with my head in my pillow cursing. I felt a warm hand rest on my shoulder and I jumped. I turned around and saw George sitting on the bed beside me 'Look Hermione I'm sorry…' he said looking at the ground.

'A bit fucking late now.' I said 'All the lies, your death, Jimmy what's next George huh? You weren't even my best friend…' I trailed off and started to cry again I was so angry at him, I felt like I actually wanted him dead so I could get him off of my mind…but at the same time I was glad he was alive it was just a shame how everything worked out…

'Hermione I'm sorry…But I have something to tell you about Jimmy,..you'd probably hate me even more for what I'm going to tell you…'' he said looking into my eyes 'I didn't think…I didn't think I meant that much to you, I didn't think I could ever mean anything to you, I didn't think you'd ever be happy so I set you up… I did it all for you…' his eyes were slowly letting one tear fall after another, his face was red and his hands were shaking. 'I was the Jimmy you knew and loved…I wanted to make you move on but, I got so caught up with you, I was drinking so much Polyjuice potion I had to stop myself, so when you asked me about getting married I knew I couldn't keep it going before Jimmy got caught up in it more than he already was…I know it seems like an insane amount of horse shit and it's insane and totally wrong but, I did this for you.' I looked at him and felt myself getting more confused and filled with anger. 'YOU FUCKING DID THAT FOR ME TO MOVE ON? WHY DIDN'T YOU JUST STAY AWAY FROM ME MAYBE YOU SHOULD'VE DIED!'

_I felt so bad…I had my reasons just I didn't know how to say it to her…I didn't know what to do…my heart was sinking lower and lower with each tear that fell down her cheek. 'Hermione I need you…' I said softly, trying to be as meaningful as I could possibly be, she shot me back a stare and I knew at that moment she didn't care…_

_'Need me? HA! If you needed me George you wouldn't have done what you did, nothing can make me feel like loving you, you had your chance, and I spent so much time on you for what? Absolutely fucking nothing, only to be treated like absolute shit… how can you live with yourself… just get the fuck out I don't want to see you again… by the way I'm telling your parents in the morning everything…' she said sternly, I knew she was serious, in all the time I had known her, even after Ron had dumped her I had never seen her so angry…_

I apparated out of their and into my room at the Weasley's. I felt so much angrier, he had the hide to show up and do that to me? What a fucking prick. I wanted to lay down and die, but I thought I'd probably fail at that like I failed at love. I eventually passed out from tiredness and began to dream about George and woke up. 'GET OUT OF MY LIFE!' I shouted as I flung myself off my pillow and sat up and then slammed my face into my pillow and continued crying myself to sleep.

I woke up the next morning, I had a head ache and I wished that the night that had just been was all a terrible night mare. I stretched myself out and heard the familiar crinkle noise made by parchment.

It was under my pillow near my hand; I grabbed it and slipped it out from under my pillow. I held it in front of me and began reading _'If you need me… I'm at the mansion; you know where to find me…I'm sorry I fucked up I should've just let you be and stopped toying with you as if I was someone else, I'm so sorry for Jimmy as well and I told him his pay can be raised…I'm sorry I lied, I'm sorry I was ever put on this planet… on the back of this is the ripped section that was on the note I left a year ago…From George…'_

I flipped over the page and saw stuck on was the ripped segment from his letter '_I've got absolutely nothing in my life I want…except…Hermione…' _it made me feel sad he hadn't kept that part of the letter earlier…but, nothing could heal the hurt I felt and I'm sure that he now felt the same way too…

I got out of bed and put the note back under my pillow; I put my dressing gown over me and walked out of my bedroom and walked down to the ground level of the Burrow met the Weasley parents downstairs.

'Hi…' I said quietly and they smiled 'Hi Hermione.' I sat at the table after receiving breakfast from Mrs Weasley, she looked happy this morning and as much as I didn't want to say anything I knew I had to.

'I got something to tell you guys…' I said trying to be as calm about it as possible. 'Yes Hermione dear?' said Mrs Weasley as she cooked breakfast for her husband. 'I saw George last night, he's alive…' I managed to say quickly and waited for them to respond… and they just stared at my blankly. 'Who?' they asked 'George, you're son, Fred's twin…?' I said confused and they looked more puzzled than I did. 'Hermione, must've had some weird dreams last night because, Fred never had a brother…' and Mister Weasley nodded 'Yeah, look Hermione maybe you need more of a rest.' He said cheerfully. Had they gone insane or were they really serious?

I sat there in stunned silence and ate my toast, I then went back upstairs. 'What?' I asked myself 'How can he have…' it suddenly hit me; he had wiped their memories 'That bastard!' I yelled kicking my bed side table, forgetting I had no shoes on this proved to be quite painful. I sat on my bed thinking and realised I had no one to talk to about my problems…no one…

I decided to go over to his mansion and talk to him again. I had a shower, got dressed and apparated myself back to his mansion. I was at the foot of the stairs; the sun's rays were beginning to disappear as dark clouds rolled in promising rain. 'George?' I called out but, no one responded.

I climbed to the top of the stairs and felt my nervousness take hold of me. I opened his office door, he was nowhere to be found, his chair sat there empty and I saw the rain outside beginning to fall hitting the glass lightly before falling down like tears.

I opened the door on the right hand side of the hallway across from his office and saw that it was his bedroom, he had a draw set in the far corner near the window, a fire place facing the foot of his bed only he wasn't in it, and he was nowhere to be seen.

I walked in and out of rooms looking for him, walked outside in the gardens which were well maintained, many flowers, hedges and sandstone as well as fruits and ingredients needed for the shop, and finally looked into the lounge room. I sat on the couch and stared out the window watching the rain fall from the sky pelting the ground like bullets.

I lied on the couch and waited for him to return, but as I waited I got more and more tired and I drifted off into sleep…

_I arrived home that evening at around five, walked in the door and put my stuff down before walking into the lounge room through the entry way and saw Hermione lying on the couch asleep. She looked so beautiful and peaceful, I went to put a blanket over her but, she woke up. 'George.' She said quickly as my name leaped out of her mouth, she looked so cute…but of course I couldn't say anything. 'Why are you here?' she stood up…staring at me intensely, she looked sexy and Godric did it send chills down my spine._

_'I FUCKING WONDER! YOU WIPED YOUR PARENTS MEMORIES!' I looked at her somewhat calmly, so what if I had I didn't care 'And every other member in my family, everyone's memory except for yours!' I yelled back knowing she'd be shocked by this._

'YOU'RE FUCKING INSANE! YOU REALLY ARE! WHY WOULD YOU DO SOMETHING LIKE THAT, DO IT TO ME PLEASE! WIPE EVERY MEMORY OF YOU FROM MY MEMORY!' I demanded in anger, he gave a cruel laugh 'Hermione, Hermione, Hermione, I just want you to feel as cut off as I do…' he said smiling like he was somewhat proud of it, his prank like personality was certainly responsible.

He could be so kind but then he could be so fucking cruel and unusual 'GEORGE WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME?' I asked concerned and scared, he was the George I had somewhat known but, he was cruel and more insane now…the madness was evident in his eyes every time he spoke.

'I DON'T HAVE TO EXPLAIN!' he gritted his teeth in anger, put both hands on my shoulders and pushed me into the chair lying me flat on my back forcing his weight on me 'OW! GEORGE YOU'RE HURTING ME!' I looked into his eyes, his eyes were dilated, his face screaming he was insane and he didn't care, I struggled against him, he was so strong 'THIS IS THE REAL GEORGE!' he said pushing me down harder, he was really scaring me now… it was if the more time he had spent alone, the worse he had become…

I pushed him off using my knees 'GET AWAY FROM ME!' I screamed getting a safe distance from him 'DON'T LEAVE ME HERMIONE! SAVE ME FROM MYSELF!' he pleaded on his knees as tears came down his cheeks. I didn't recognise him anymore; the George in front of me was an animal, a crazy reckless animal he was scaring me…the George I knew deep down never scared me.

'JUST TELL ME WHY; JUST TELL ME EVERYTHING YOU PRICK!' I yelled in anger as he sat on the floor like a wounded animal sobbing, and cursing at the same time. He leant his head on the chair burying his face in yelling then looked up at me 'I'M NOT GOING TO TELL YOU!' he yelled back in anger. 'WHY NOT?' 'BECAUSE YOU WON'T UNDERSTAND! FUCKING NO ONE EVER WILL THAT'S FUCKING WHY! NOW GET OUT OF MY FUCKING HOUSE BEFORE I HURT YOU!' he threatened and although his face was red, no tears were coming down his cheeks.

'George…please just calmly and slowly, tell me what fucking happened…' I said sitting on the lounge chair. 'Fuck this…!' he yelled and he stood up and walked out of the lounge room. 'JUST STAY AWAY FROM ME!' he yelled as he left the room and I curled up in a ball on the lounge.

I hated yelling at him and I felt so bad, I just wanted everything to be how it was before, when we could actually talk like normal people, I missed the old George I knew and loved. I began in fear and in sadness, feeling myself shaking all over for I knew George would never be the same again…he was utterly, completely and very noticeably insane.


	10. Cliffs Higher Than Angels Fly

**I re-did chapter 10 thanks for reading guys, please rate and review if you wish in this chapter Hermione attempts to help George, don't wanna give too much away but yeah hope you enjoy :)**

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I sat on the lounge for a while and then decided to lie down, I put my feet up on the arm rest and stared up at the ceiling, and I pulled my coat together to wrap it around myself and just lied there thinking about life. Thinking about what the fuck happened to George, thinking about what the past year had been and wondering why everything had happened… I was angry at myself for not helping George earlier, somewhat angry at myself for what had happened with George after the wedding when he tried to kill himself and wished I never had saved him but, I was most angry because someone I was in love with was George all along.

That was a year ago now and my life had so much changed since then, I thought I found the love of my life, it was a setup and it was still George. I thought George was dead he turned out to be alive but, just barely and his soul was eating him apart, the fact he basically became someone else in front of me and beneath all that was a reckless soul that was gonna kill itself if it didn't stop. I had to save him.

I had been to his funeral, cried over him, had terrifying dreams had to live a life where George wasn't a part of it anymore. He wasn't even part of himself anymore; he had changed so dramatically it wasn't even recognisably George. I knew getting him back on track wouldn't be easy but, I'd rather die trying than not trying at all.

I waited at least an hour before gaining my courage to go speak to him; 'Hermione he needs you.' I said to myself quietly and got off the lounge and walked through the hallway, into the entry way and up the marble steps and went into George's office to find he wasn't there.

Everything was as it was whiskey bottles on the side table, a fire burning, stuff all over his desk and the blinds drawn closed. It was dark now and it was cloudy outside, autumn was coming back again, well not quite the last week over summer was disappearing and it was noticeable. The last week of August was always cold and met England with a cold harsh breathe and a chilling power.

I went across the hallway from the door office door and knocked on his bedroom door. 'George.' I called out hoarsely, waiting patiently for a response. 'Duh fuck do you want?' he yelled back in anger.

'George…please talk to me…' I pleaded, putting my ear against the door 'Alright!' he said annoyed and I slowly opened the door, he was lying in bed. His back turned away from me, he looked a lot smaller than he was, I assumed he was curled up in a ball 'George…please tell me why you left…why did you do what you did…' I said softly. Slowly approaching the side of the bed, my jean legs rubbed against each other because I didn't take as bigger steps as I normally would, I was walking slowly. 'That noise is annoying.' He remarked and I walked normally, but still slowly, I felt frozen and stiff I just wanted to help him.

'You wanna know Hermione, you really wanna fuckin' know…?' he asked harshly I walked over to his desk on the other side from his bed, unlike his office desk this one was covered in whiskey bottles, papers and was a complete mess. There wasn't any glasses which I think meant he drank it from the bottle.

I picked up the chair from under his table and put it next to his bed. 'Yes, I want to know why.' I said annoyed, putting my hair behind my shoulders so that it didn't get in my eyes. I was sitting behind him and he wasn't looking at me.

He pushed his blanket covers back, he took his jumper off and he had a work shirt on underneath. He walked over to his draw set, grabbed a bottle of Jim Beam, which I had no idea existed because it wasn't on the table, twisted the cap off, tossed it on the floor, walked back to his bed and fixed his pillows so he could lean against them as he sat up and began drinking. It was a sad sight, but at the same time with all the stress I felt like popping the cap off and drinking too.

He patted the mattress beside him 'Sit.' He demanded not even looking at me, just looking at the label on the bottle, my heart was thumping in my throat 'Is he gonna do something?' I said under my breath and climbed on the bed hesitantly and sat next to him, he lifted his arm and put it over my shoulder and played with my hair. I liked it but, it didn't make me feel any less nervous, I moved my neck back and liked the feeling of his arm supporting it. But, I wasn't there to day dream about him, I was there to help him.

_She was so pretty, I didn't want to be angry but, I couldn't help it, I wanted to make love to her but, I knew she'd leave immediately if I tried to do anything and I wouldn't blame her…the feel of her head resting on my arm was relaxing and I didn't feel as angry, I just loved her but I had no idea how to show it, I felt like a lunatic looking for a victim to get…and she was the unlucky victim._

_I felt her soft locks against my hand and arm, I twisted them around and scrunched them, it was so soft, I looked down at her and tilted my head to look at her face, and she had her head down like she was thinking._

_She was quiet and still like one of those Deer's you see in those movies when the hunter watches them and they are totally unaware of the hunter's intentions. I had bad intentions maybe…I'm not sure if they were bad or good…I didn't want to hurt her but, I had this horrible feeling I was driving her away with my insanity…when I was Jimmy it was fine because I was someone else, I could forget about being George but at the end of the day it just wasn't right and I knew Jimmy didn't want me to keep pretending either or to keep cutting his hair for Polyjuice potion, he was worried that if something happened that people would think he was crazy when in fact I was the mad one._

_'Please tell me what the fuck happened to you…' she demanded I sighed and looked at her…'Alright…' I coughed to clear my throat because it was getting a bit hoarse, for some reason this house made everyone's voices husky, I figured it was from the ash from all the fire places but, at least it was warm, warm enough to make me feel alive, because I could feel the warmth but, other than that my body couldn't feel anything._

He looked down at me and then stared me right in the eyes, his blue eyes sparkled, they went from the usual pale blue to a bright blue and they were something I could easily get lost in, 'Where do you want me to start?' he asked shrugging.

'From the night I found you dead.' I replied calmly 'Alright…' he took a skull of the bottle, I heard it run down his throat 'I called the funeral parlour that night about an hour before you came on Christmas eve and told them a body was going to come in called…the name was going to be George Weasley and to give the body to a man named Jimmy Crafty. I told them a payment would be made and it was a decoy plan and for them not to say anything to which the man agreed. I then slit my wrists…' he trailed off and looked somewhat distant.

He paused and put his free hand beside him where I couldn't see it, and held the bottle of Jim Beam against his leg and took his arm off my shoulder and pulled his sleeve down on his shirt so it covered his palms. 'I slit my wrists then I drank a potion that would allow me to live long enough but to give all the signs of being dead, the coldness, the stiffness, no heart beat the lot, it let blood come out but, I was still able to have enough to live. I lied there and felt everything, every single bit of it, I felt my heart beating become less noticeable and I felt myself go under the covers as being dead. But, I could feel and hear everything just not able to move.' He said taking another scull of the bottle and looking at me with his big blue eyes, his face looked full of shame and disappointment and I wanted to cry, he looked so distant it's like I wasn't even within a five mile radius.

'Then you found me, I was still conscious, I had left my tears beside me so it would seem that I was gone and that was the last you had ever seen of me, that I could give you some sort of insight as to why I did it for. Then I had the perfect scene to look like I was dead, it was the perfect plan for a deathly ending…I heard you crying, I felt your tears falling on me, I felt you holding me close to you and I felt loved, but it was too late there was no way to tell you.' He said turning a bit away from me, his eyes down cast, I saw a tear roll off his cheek and onto his collar.

'Then dad took me to the funeral parlour, they put me in a body bag and Jimmy arrived, he gave the man the five thousand and told him to put a few bags of cement in the coffin so it didn't feel empty. But I think they ended up using a dummy for it. He then took me back to his place, gave me the anti-dote I had organised with him the week before and I was a dead man.' He looked at me with all seriousness and didn't even crack a smile, a joke or anything like I semi expected him to do.

'How did you know I was coming?' I asked curiously, 'Polyjuice potion, I was the man that told you I was dead after the lady that told you where the cottage was spoke to you. I saw you walk out and I took the chance and chased after you.' 'How much Polyjuice potion have you had over the last few months? Well year…' 'A fucking lot.'

I was shocked, he had thought this plan out so well, I was amazed but, I felt even more cheated then I did earlier. 'George…how'd you know I'd be there?' I said looking at him like he had been stalking me for months.

'I went to the book store, you're a book worm, I put two and two together…all those times you heard off people I was dead, I was fuelling those rumours.' He said taking another massive skull from the bottle.

I clenched my fist around his blanket and felt sorry for him, but I was so fucking angry 'Why did you do it George, you could've come back…You could've just stopped thinking about me and came up to me and said something…' I said looking at him, as tears made my eyes go glassy and I had to blink to see.

'I did, I just came back in a way you didn't expect me too…I knew you were devastated and alone and I toyed with your emotions like a heartless bastard. He turned away to have some more whiskey. 'I did it because I wanted to be dead without having to die, I don't deserve death… I gave Jimmy ten thousand to look after you and to get you to move on with life, I didn't want you to be alone, so I made it look like he ran the store when really I was running it the entire thing the whole time and he was a decoy, he was living my life and I lived his…Profits went up after I died, I had nothing to worry about, I got to spend my time in solitary and think about what to do next and got to spend time with you.' He took a scull of the bottle again and stared into the distance and realised the bottle was almost empty.

'How are you not dead drunk?' I asked and he looked at me and gave a little half arse attempt at a smile. 'Because I take a potion every day to contain heaps of alcohol...' I stared at him stunned, he was a fucking alcoholic. 'I'm joking, I'm just trained for alcohol.'

'I did it and I do these stupid things because I am fucking insane Hermione; you have to understand that, I set you up so I didn't feel guilty for leaving you…I couldn't stay away from you, when I just thought about you every day and waited to see you every afternoon and how much happier you were it was bringing me down. I thought she could never love me if I wasn't Jimmy. But after a while I started to get jealous.' 'Jealous! You were jealous of being Jimmy?' 'Yeah, because you liked this Jimmy guy more than you liked George. Everything in life was fine and I wanted the one thing I couldn't have, that the real George couldn't have which of course had to be you didn't it?' he scolded 'George, where is Jimmy, the real Jimmy? Does he know everything about your sick plan.' I asked slowly. He laughed 'Dead. No, I'm joking he's at his home doing whatever he does when he's not at work.' He said coldly as if he didn't care, he just looks after the store, he gets good money he doesn't really run it but, I pay him heaps to run it. Apparating is one of the greatest gifts to wizards.' He said drinking the rest of the bottle.

He shot me a look that sent chills down my spine 'I didn't see the point in going back, I don't want anyone to remember me…I wanted to wipe myself off the planet…but, I didn't see the point I was dead to everyone anyway. I was so fucking happy I didn't have to live under the shadow of Fred's death…even though I still do, but I don't have to see mum and dad getting upset over it and I didn't want to keep seeing his room every day. Fred dying was the worst thing to happen, if he was still alive, I'd still be normal…and you'd probably be with him…' he said putting his head in his hands, he bought his knees up to himself and sat there in the foetal position. 'George how can you think like that…Fred and you were totally different, sure Fred was more outgoing but, you've always been special, don't think different. I would've chosen you over Fred any day, you gotta know that.' I said desperately trying to persuade him of the truth.

'I wouldn't have George, Fred was a good friend but, I always knew you were better, that and Fred had someone so why would I make him cheat?' he turned his head and leant it on his knee 'I didn't want to keep looking at you every day knowing I could never have you. Basically I left for my own selfish reasons and I'm an ass hole and a bloody insane one!' he was getting worked up now, his alcohol was affecting him. 'I need another fucking bottle!' he began to raise his voice more angrily and threw the empty bottle across the room and it crashed into thousands of little pieces near the fire place.

'George, calm down.' I said putting my hand on his shoulder and quickly removed it. 'DO YOU KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE HEMIONE TO HAVE TO LEAVE THE HOUSE AS A DIFFERENT PERSON? UNDER A NEW NAME?' he yelled 'No…' I said quietly, my heart beating faster fearing for what he was going to do next.

He ran his hands through his hair and pulled at it, his face getting redder, the shadow reflecting on the walls 'WHY DO I DO THESE THINGS TO MYSELF HERMIONE? WHY DO I CUT MYSELF OFF?' he asked getting frustrated. 'George you're saying the same stuff over and over again…You're working yourself up…'

'I don't know George but maybe you should stop drinking…' he laughed 'Stop drinking huh? What are you my mother?' he said annoyed 'George, I think you're crazy and should go back to your family. They love you, they need you.' I tried to convince him, but I don't think he bought it.

He laughed again but, this time cruelly, like this was all one sick joke 'Love me, hell Hermione, they don't even know me anymore why would anything need changing, they didn't even bother coming to look for me, they didn't care, it's almost as if they never wanted me in the first place.' He was breathing faster and erratically I thought he was going to have a heart attack.

'Nothing fucking does need changing, we'll keep life the way it is…I'm not going back, I don't care what you say or what you do.' He said a bit calmer and looking over at the bottles on his desk, he walked over and came back with another bottle, pulled the cap off and threw it across the floor carelessly.

_She looked at me with her beautiful light brown eyes 'George, you gotta go back, I mean you really had no reason to go…' now that set me over the edge, the way she said it as if she didn't give a fuck about me or anything or hadn't listened to the entire time. 'NO REASON TO GO? WHAT PART OF I'M FUCKING DEPRESSED DON'T YOU GET? I DID EVERYTHING I COULD TO MAKE YOU HAPPY AND YOU TREATED ME LIKE ABSOLUTE SHIT!' I yelled back, I took a scull from the bottle and slammed it down beside me, some of it spilling on the bed but, what the fuck did I care?_

_'Treated you like shit…when?' she asked looking at the mattress as if she really did know. 'I DON'T KNOW LETS THINK…OH YEAH AT THE WEDDING WHEN YOU FUCKING IGNORED ME THE ENTIRE TIME, THAT NIGHT YOU TALKED TO GINNY SAYING HOW FUCKING INSANE I WAS! SAYING HOW YOU THOUGHT I WAS GONNE KILL MYSELF! WELL YOU WERE RIGHT I AM FUCKING INSANE AND I WISHED I DID ACTUALLY KILL MYSELF SO I DIDN'T HAVE TO EXPLAIN THIS SHIT A THOUSAND TIMES LIKE A BROKEN RECORD! YOU THINK YOU KNOW ME HERMIONE, YOU GOT NO FUCKING IDEA!' I yelled, getting off the bed and standing up._

I looked at him horrified 'George…his red hair matching his red face and furry I only ignored you at the wedding because I didn't want to get depressed at a happy event, I didn't mean to ignore you, I wanted to dance with you but, I feel like such a fucking bitch and I'm sorry for my rant to Ginny, I really am…' I said as tears came down my eyes 'I didn't realise how bad it was then…I just didn't, I was more caught up with my selfishness not to care about you as much as you cared for me…' he looked at me from above me, I felt powerless to stop him from whatever he was going to do.

_'I LEFT TO GET AWAY FROM YOU THEN I THOUGHT HOW FUCKING SAD YOU WERE, SO I MADE THE DEAL WITH JIMMY TO USE YOU AS ME SO THAT YOU COULD FUCKING MOVE ON BUT, YOU COULDN'T! THEN YOU FUCKING ASK IF WE WANT TO GET MARRIED AND I COULDN'T GET MARRIED AS SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE I'M NOT JIMMY SO I HAD TO SHOW YOU THIS SHIT AND NOW WE'RE BOTH IN THIS SHIT TOGETHER! WE ALWAYS HAVE BEEN IN THIS SHIT TOGETHER FUCKING HELL WHY'D I GO BACK TO YOU I SHOULD'VE STAYED AWAY FROM YOU!' his fists wre clenched, his thick hair covering his face and I just wanted it all to end._

'You left because of me…?' I said as tears rolled down my cheeks and he didn't answer me…

_I walked over to my draw set and swiped everything of it in the midst of my rage, glass of the whiskey bottles smashed on the floor and glass went everywhere. I didn't care I had no shoes on it and I felt it cutting my feet, I didn't care…the blood went on the floor in tiny puddles, I was totally beyond caring no matter how much it hurt._

_'GEORGE STOP YOU'RE SCARING ME!' Hermione yelled from the bed 'SCARING YOU? SCARING YOU? YOU KNOW WHAT'S SCARY BEING ME!' I yelled back and walked back towards the bed 'WHY DID YOU HAVE TO GO TRY AND ATTEMPT SUICIDE! THAT TORE ME TO PIECES!' I said falling to my hands and knees onto the floor and broke down. I didn't want to lose you too, to be with someone that wasn't even dead…Hermione don't do that shit to yourself…that was the turning point, the point where I had to tell you the truth, I couldn't lie to you anymore and when I saw what that lie made you do I had to tell you the truth…' I said as tears rolled down my cheeks. 'I love you…I've always in one way another always loved you…' I said, I felt like pouring my heart out to her._

His hair was all messed up, he had little cuts on his hands from the glass and his face was all red, his socks were stained with blood as the cuts from the glass went thorough. I was considering the fact that he should go to a mental home.

I began crying I didn't like seeing him hurting himself. 'I WISH I WAS NEVER BORN SO I DIDN'T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT THIS SHIT!' he yelled, standing up again and stumbling and tipped his book shelf over, it crashed as it hit the floor, the books hit the ground like thunder, my heart was pounding.

'George..stop…' I said quietly, trying to get the words to come out louder was impossible I was in a stunned silence, I couldn't move from the bed I was frozen.. 'IS THAT ALL YOU CAN SAY? FUCK HERMIONE JUST LEAVE! IF YOU GOT NOTHING ELSE TO SAY FUCKING LEAVE!' he picked his wand out of his pocket and through it at me 'KILL ME HERMIONE, FUCKING KILL ME!' he demanded, standing in front of me with his arms out 'GEORGE I'M NOT GOING TO KILL YOU!' he stared at me desperately 'FUCKING DO IT! YOU KNOW THE KILLING CURSE! DO IT!' he demanded and I felt my hand go to his wand and pick it up, my hand shaking like crazy, 'George…don't make me do this…' my hand tremebled so much at the thought of it…I threw it on the floor and the sound of it echosed across the walls.

He stormed over to the bed, he put his shoes on and made sure I had my shoes on still and grabbed my arm I didn't know what he was planning to do or what was going to happen next but, judging by the firm grip and the feel of his fingers digging into my arms. 'THEN WE'LL GO TOGETHER!' before I could even react we apparated to the cliffs where I had been not long before. Only this time I wasn't alone 'George…what are you doing?' I choked looking down at the crashing waves below me.

'Hermione, we're gonna jump.' He said looking over the cliff, who was this insane person I was standing near? Was he really going to kill us both…? I wanted to live to help him…

_'This is what you wanted isn't it, why you came here the other night before bloody me, I had to save your fucking life!' she looked at me desperately 'GEORGE PLEASE STOP IT!' she yelled the wind was blowing my hair in front of my eyes I couldn't see a thing, her hair was all over her facem but I could see her dampened cheeks from her tears through her hair. I put out my hand to hers and she didn't take it and took a few steps back. She was cautious of my intentions, I wanted her to jump with me…the wind was howling it was a wonder it didn't blow us off the cliff._

_'Hermione it's just a jump, it'll be over in seconds, we can go together.' I said like I was sober but, I was totally out of my mind. My brain was thinking hundreds of things at once, I didn't know what I wanted but, I focused on this like my life depended on it, which it did…I knew Hermione was scared as all hell and I was provoking her fear. 'I'm insane…' I yelled out to the wind 'GEORGE DON'T DO IT!' I heard Hermione yell. 'HERMIONE I CAN'T KEEP LIVING LIKE THIS.' I said coming to my knees in the dirt, the rocks poking through my jeans. _

He was shaking, not moving and staring at me like he wouldn't jump unless he took me with him and it scared me. I wanted him to stop and just for everything to be okay but, it was far from okay it wasn't even fucking close. I took a step closer to him, I couldn't imagine what his brain was putting him through right now…I didn't want to jump off the cliff and I knew deep down her didn't want to either.

_I got up again and I put out my hand and moved towards her 'Hermione please…please come with me…together, we can do this I know we can, I just know we can.' I pleaded 'I'm not just an alcoholic…H-Hermione I-I love you…' I stuttered out and she looked at me, she fell to her knees and started crying. 'George…I just don't know what to say anymore.' She yelled and coughed due to crying simultaneously._

_'George, all of this time I wanted you back…now I just don't want it anymore, you're just too insane, I don't even know how you could hold a relationship together, you can't even hold your life together. You need to get your shit sorted out before you come to me…' she said harshly, I felt like that tore my soul apart._

_'If that's how you feel then I guess I'll never be good enough for you…I'll never be able to live with myself, I'll never be able to love you…I guess I'll just kill myself…' I conceded and she didn't even look at me, she sat there on the ground crying… I felt like I shouldn't have ever set her up now she won't trust anyone ever again, not even me…' in the background the waves were crashing against the rocks and my heart was beating, I could feel it jumping out of my throat. I wanted to take her with me, I didn't want her on this earth alone, but I knew it could never be._

_'Hermione…I'm sorry…' I stood on the edge of the cliff, looking down at the ocean crashing into the rocks below. 'George please stop! Get help do anything else but, don't jump!' she pleaded; I didn't even turn around 'I don't mean shit to you.' She said. I shuffled closer, a pebble under my foot fell off the cliff. 'That'll be me soon…' the cold air brushed against my cheeks and gave me a chill, it was like it was calling me to jump._

_'Forget me Hermione, move on with life, no tricks this time, I'll fucking kill myself before I do anything else.' I said looking into the black swirling darkness below me. I looked up at the starry night sky 'Am I gonna join just Fred…?' I thought to myself and I ignored Hermione that was behind me still, I could hear her sobbing._

_'George please…' 'Do you love me Hermione?' I asked and she didn't answer 'DO YOU FUCKING LOVE ME HERMIONE GRANGER! AND DON'T SAY YES BECAUSE YOU DON'T WANT ME TO KILL MYSELF OKAY!' I yelled and felt the rage going through my system, flying around my body with a heated burning feeling._

I didn't know what to do…he was there on that cliff edge and I was sitting on the ground frozen not knowing what to do. If I said I loved him he'd probably think I was lying and if I said no, either way his situation looked bleak. I picked myself up and looked at him.

'George…please…' I said quietly, I tried to yell but, my voice didn't raise. I walked up behind him and grabbed his soft hand; it was cold and felt lifeless. 'Answer me…' he demanded again coldly, I was shivering, I pulled him back but, he pulled me towards the edge of the cliff and looked into my eyes. His face was gleaming with tears in the moonlight, it was a full moon and it shone brilliantly on us like we were the only two people in the world, I swallowed clearing the lump in my throat 'I love you…' he froze where he was and I took the chance as he moved us along the cliff, I looked down at the swirling black hole that looked like it wanted to swallow us up and he was distracted so I immediately apparated us back to his room.

He walked over to his bed side 'What am I doing…?' he said throwing himself on his bed, the mattress retracted as his weight hit it with full force 'I don't know what I want, I don't know what I'm doing…I just OH FUCK!' he put his face into the doona and sobbed 'I JUST WANTED TO GET AWAY FROM IT ALL, I DIDN'T WANT TO DIE, DON'T WANT TO LIVE! I DON'T KNOW WHY I'M STILL HERE TORTURING MYSELF DAY IN AND DAY OUT! I'M FUCKING INSANE AND NO ONE WILL EVER WANT ME! NO ONE!' he choked on his tears and coughed 'JUST LEAVE!' he continued sobbing, his back was shaking and I was so scared for him.

I walked over to the side of his bed slowly, I sat beside him on the end of his bed 'George…I'll help you…' I said putting my hand on his shoulder 'Shh…its okay.' I said quietly enough for him to hear. 'Hermione please just leave me…leave me alone to die…' he said shrugging my hand off. He scrunched up the doona in his fists and kept crying. His pillow had a puddle on it the size of half his head, he was a broen man.

I was tired of him being like this, I wanted to help him, and I wanted him to find life again…I wanted him to be George again…

I put my hands through his soft thick hair 'Shh, calm down, things will get better…Everything will be fine' he was shaking violently 'I'm so cold Hermione…I can't feel a thing…' 'George…' I rubbed his back and leant down and kissed his head.

I took my coat off and put it on the bed post. 'C'mon Georgie, I'll put you to bed.' I stood up over him and pulled as much blanket as I could out so he could get in. 'I DON'T WANT TO SLEEP!' he yelled angrily and I knew he was just depressed and he couldn't help feeling like this.

_I didn't want to get up, she tried pulling me up but, I dropped my weight and glued myself to the bed. I was too heavy for her and I didn't think she realised how heavy I was till she fell back on the floor with a bang._

_'Fuckin' hell…' she said. I rolled over on my back and stared at the fire place, I felt lifeless, I put my right arm over my head and my left arm on my stomach and just lost myself in the flames, I didn't pay attention to Hermione standing near the bed with her head in her hands. Her curls covering her face, she was frustrated and annoyed. She was so beautiful it made me feel like I didn't deserve her even more._

_'George, c'mon get up…' I didn't feel like moving, there was no will to continue, no will to get up, I don't even know why I had the God given will to breathe. I was putting her through torment as well so it wasn't helping either of us…I was a wreck Hermione was trying to help me back on my feet, I swear she was a guardian angel._

I wiped my eyes with my skivvy sleeve and looked down at him, he stuck out his arm towards me, I reached my hands out and locked it with his hands and I pulled him up and he stood beside me. 'I'll get the glass out of your feet…' I got him to lied down and I used my wand to clean the glass out and wrapped a bandage around his feet. He flinched at the pain but, I think the amount of scotch he had consumed stopped him from feeling anything.

I helped him up and he didn't look at me and he was still tipsy as all hell. I pulled back the doona and held his arm as I helped him get into bed. I sat beside him and stroked his hair gently, running my hand across his head in a circular motion; he moved his head to the hand motion and lied on his back. He had his eyes closed, he was calm and relaxed finally he wasn't on a rage anymore. He looked like a sleeping angel, hi radiant hair, his peaceful look on his face I wasn't sure if he was sleeping or just calming down.

'You're an angel Hermione…' he slurred and turned his head towards me, staring right into my eyes, a tear slid down his cheek and passed his ear. It was funny how I was just thinking the same thing about him.

'I'm dead…' he said 'No you're not...' I replied back giving him a small smile 'Yet…' he said looking into my eyes not breaking contact, they looked lifeless and seeing him so depressed made me want to break down and cry, but I had to be strong for him. 'You'll be okay…' I reassured him and ran my hands through his hair. The fire reflected off the glass and glinted in all areas of the room around us.

'You'll be fine George, I know you will…' I said as tears came to my eyes, and landed on the edge of the mattress. 'It's been almost a year and half Hermione where does it fucking end? In ten years? When I die? I can't let it go I just can't! It haunts me every fucking day!' he said angrily, his face was red and full of hate; his eyes said he was broken. He was all broken and I wanted to put him back together again. 'Do you want me to lie beside you?' I asked soflty and he nodded slightly.

His hair spread around his head like a lions mane, I always thought of George as a lion for some reason, I just knew deep down was a man with a heart of gold and a will as strong as steel…just now he was depressed and all alone in the world and I knew I had to do something, anything, anything I possibly could in my power. If George did die, I definitely wanted nothing more than to go with him…I lied beside him and he rolled over to face me, I put my hand on his shoulder and looked into his eyes talking to him.

'I'm so cold…I've got no soul, no heart…nothing…' he said as a tear slid down his cheek and he wiped it off quickly with his hand. 'It's not beating, I don't feel like I'm breathing, I don't feel fucking anything!' he said running his hands wildly through his hair. 'Calm down…shh…' 'Hermione…I love you…' he said as more tears rolled down his cheeks 'I love you too George.' He put his hand on my face and moved my hair out of my eyes. 'You're so beautiful.' He said moving closer, I could feel my knees touching his legs.

'I'm such a bitch, I shouldn't cry like a fucking bitch but I do, I'm weak!' he yelled. Hearing this broke me…'YOU'RE NOT WEAK!' I snapped back 'You're a real man George, real men can cry, real men are like you, they feel things, you're human, it's what humans do!' I said squeezing his hand tightly 'I'm not giving up on you.' I said kissing his knuckles

'Hermione I don't need you to tell me this shit! Don't lie to me!' he argued back with disbelief. I felt tears edging my eyes again, letting them slowly fall and I sat up. 'I'm not gonna sit here and watch you die damn it George!' I collapsed onto his chest 'I can't!' I felt his hand lay gently on my back 'Hermione…' he whispered gently.

_I didn't want to see her cry, I didn't want to be the one that made her cry but as I looked at her now that she was lying across my chest crying I knew I meant a lot to her. I felt her heart beat against mine, her warmth, her body against mine in a helpless heap. I was tired; I didn't want to fight anymore… I didn't want to keep arguing with her…I just wanted to lie down and go to sleep, wake up and do it all tomorrow._

_'Look just lie down beside me…please.' I said gently, whilst running my hand through her thick ringlets. My hands getting caught in them and I traced my hand down her spine. Out of all the things I felt, I felt most alive when she was with me… 'Okay…' she said, she sat up and sat on the edge of her bed taking her shoes off, I pulled back the doona and she got into bed again and lied beside me, staring at me from her side of the bed._

_It broke me; just looking at her broke me…I felt so alone until that point and she made me appreciative of life for that short time, for life had bought us together now she was lying on the opposite side of the bed looking at me. I picked my wand off the bed side table and flicked it at the light switch and the light turned out. She watched me carefully, watching my every move with her eyes._

_'George, close your eyes and go to sleep…' she whispered. 'I can't sleep…' I said pulling the doona over my shoulders. 'George, just listen…' she said. Her eyes glinting in the flames of the fire._

_'I don't feel alive…' I said as my eyes went glassy 'I can't feel anything…' she reached out for my hand and moved closer, I looked at what she was doing. She lifted my hand and put it on the top of her chest 'Feel that?' I knew what she meant; underneath my hand was a heartbeat. 'You know yours is beating George just like mine.' She was so calm and said it so soothingly that I knew there was no way I'd be there beside her tonight if I had died…but where I was now felt like heaven._

_I took my hand back, I could feel myself blushing intensely, I was just glad she couldn't see it. 'Now Georgie, close your eyes…' I stared into her gentle eyes and felt the monster inside of me going to sleep. I closed my eyes and heard and felt the doona and the sheet as well as the mattress moving. I felt her against me; she had wrapped her arms around my waist tightly and rested her head between the crook in my neck. She nuzzled into it gently and sent chills down my spine._

_''Mione…' I whimpered as she pulled herself against me, I thought I was dreaming and didn't open my eyes. 'Shh George…' I slowly opened my eyes and saw I wasn't dreaming. I got my hand and bought it to her head and stroked her hair._

_I just couldn't hold it in anymore 'Oh fuck I love you.' I said quickly and wrapped my arms around her so tightly, bought her up to me and pushed my lips against hers and kissed her, claiming her lips as mine and wrapping my arms around her like I didn't ever want her to leave me. 'God George…I love you…' she said as I sucked and nibbled her lips lightly. She was warm; I never wanted to let her go. I put my legs around her so she was trapped willingly; I kissed from her forehead, down the side of her cheek, her chin, her neck and her lips, spending a few seconds on each kiss. 'George…don't leave me again…' she said running her hands through my hair and looking me right in the eyes._

_'Do you want me to stay?' I didn't want her to, I just wanted her to feel special and spoilt right now, and after what I put her through tonight I didn't want to experience anything enjoyable. 'No Hermione, you've done enough for me tonight…' she ignored my wished and sucked my bottom lip, kissing me all over my cheeks 'You're loved, you've gotta know that, I love you.' I felt totally 'My 'Mione…' I whispered, she kissed down my chin, around my neck and pulled me close to her chest, I held her tighter. The more she did so the more I was beginning to want her instead I gave her one last long kiss. 'George…' she whispered in my ear sending chills down my spine 'I want you to know I love you…' she kissed me on the cheek and I kissed her on the forehead. 'Goodnight Georgie,,,; she said running her hands through my hair._

_'Don't leave me…' I said pulling her closer in fear 'I won't…I promise.' She said yawning, she was dozing off to sleep and I could feel it as her hold relaxed around me and she buried her head against my chest listening to my heartbeat. I looked down on her 'Sweet dreams.'_

_As she fell asleep with her head against my chest I knew for the rest of the night not even for a second would I let her go._


	11. The Prodigal Son

**Second last chapter for this story I think, rate and review, things get a lot happier in this one so yey XD**

**Thanks for reading :)**

* * *

_I woke up the next morning and the sun was just beginning to come up slowly, the sky was a dark deep ocean blue, it had to be at least five in the morning, I got up and walked over to the blind and pulled it back and looked at the sky, Thinking last night was just one big dream, a nightmare even. I didn't feel too good, my knees were shaking. I hadn't fallen asleep till two in the morning, last night seemed like a blur but, I remembered it so clearly. I looked over at the bed and saw Hermione lying there, she looked so peaceful lying where I had left her, I was surprised she was still there I thought I would've scared her off after last night. Her curls covered the pillow in a heap and her eyes were closed, her lips pursed. _

_I walked back over to the bed and got in beside her and held her and she rolled over, I put my arms around her waist and pulled her against my chest. She made me feel calm, my eyes got heavy again and I drifted off to sleep._

I opened my eyes and saw the pillow on the other side of the bed, George was asleep beside me. He was so warm, his arms were wrapped around my waist, I rolled over and he moved his head upwards. His grip around me tightened and pulled my closer to him. He looked so peaceful; I had to go to the bathroom so I wriggled out and sat on the edge of the bed. And looked behind me and smiled at George as he slept.

'Hermione…?' I heard a very sleepy George say under a yawn 'Where are you going?' he asked wiping his eyes. 'Just going to the bathroom, I'll come back don't worry.' I said giving him a sleepy smile and he rolled on his back and closed his eyes again, then opened them and stared at the ceiling. I stood up and saw the glass on the floor and the mess that had been left from last night. Glass was everywhere, I couldn't stand it. I did a simple cleaning spell and left the room while everything put itself in its rightful place.

I came back a few minutes later 'Close the door.' He said and I turned around closed it. He opened the blanket so I could slip back into bed. 'It's cold…' I said even though the fire that seemed to be on all the time due to a spell George had put on it was still crackling. He wrapped his arms around me lovingly and pulled me to his body. He was so warm, his chest and stomach were so firm, and I could lie there all day if I wanted to. 'You feeling better?' I asked curiously 'A little…more the fact you're here than anything else.'

_I pulled her close, it was still pretty dark outside and I didn't want the morning to come. It was Sunday the last two days had gone by in a flash…I still felt angry with life but, being with Hermione right now made everything seem a little bit better. I looked deeply into her brown eyes. 'I love you…' I said softly and kissed her on the top of her head. 'I love you too…' she kissed under my chin and held my hand._

I pulled his hand near my face and put it towards the light; I examined the light pink skin that was a few millimetres thick over his veins. I kissed it softly 'You poor thing.' I said slowly, 'Why'd you do that to yourself?' I asked 'Because I'm sick Hermione…' I hugged him tightly 'Don't ever hurt yourself again…please…I don't like it when you hurt yourself…' I rolled over again to look out the window.

_She rolled over to face me, her eyes looking concerned and sad, I ran my hands through her hair, feeling the softness 'Don't hurt yourself anymore Georgie…I'm here for you…' she said and kissed my cheek, she made my heart pound against my ribs. 'I know…' I said giving her a small smile and I tilted her chin up 'I love you. You've got to know that.' I said holding her closer. She eventually drifted to sleep and I did to._

_Some hours later I woke up and she was sitting at my desk on the chair throwing bottles of scotch out. 'Hermione what are you doing?' I said getting up to see what she was doing more clearly. She spun around on the chair 'Helping you George, I'm gonna try hard this time okay?' she said staring at me with those caring eyes. 'Well, give it a shot…' I said doubtfully, I was still on a train wreck route that was for sure well I thought I was._

_I didn't want her to in case it didn't work out, but after last night I definitely wanted things to change, for better or for worse. I got up and had a shower and Hermione said we should go out for the day. 'But everyone thinks I'm dead.' I said and she grinned. 'We'll start off small.' She said and I smiled at her, for some reason she gave me hope._

_We went to the park not too far away, it was nice but Godric was it cold. I wanted to hold her all day, but instead we held hands and walked around the park, looked at the ducks in the pond and talked. It was nearing September; Ginny was going back to Hogwarts soon to finish up._

_We went back home and Hermione went and got some dinner which turned out just to be pizza cause that's about all we needed. We sat on the lounge, watched some muggle contraption called a television that Hermione was very fond of and I found it quite magical in its own right getting people to transport into a little box and being able to hear everything they said it was like seeing little midgets in a box performing for you._

_Weeks went by and she stuck by my side, all the crazy nights of yelling and self pity and drinking on some occasions, she was there, all the times I'd thought I'd wake up and she would've left me were not to be as she was always there. Sometimes she went back to the Burrow but, most nights she spent comforting me and trying to put me on the right track rather than travelling on desolation boulevard. _

_'So…how's mum and dad been?' I asked one mid-September evening 'Alright, I've been dropping in some nights saying I'm out with friends, they don't care. They don't care about much now, they're home alone most of the time, sometimes your brothers stop in. 'Is Ron married yet?' I asked out of curiosity._

_'I don't think so; him and Lavender are just living together.' She said and we laughed 'He better man up and ask the bitch…' she said slowly. 'Can't imagine who would.' I said laughing. I gave her a hug 'What if he gets married before I do…I'd be a laughing stock, my younger brother getting married before me…' I trailed off. Even though it wouldn't matter because none of them remembered me anyway,_

I looked at him and wanted to say something but instead I put my arms around him and kissed him on the lips, sucking his bottom lip gently. 'We've been together nearly a month…'Mione.' He said pulling away; he looked sad 'Can I call you 'Mione? It sounds like mine, because you're miney.' He said childishly 'Of course Georgie, I'll be yours forever or until you get sick of me…' I said trying not laugh because he looked too serious. 'I can't get sick of you…' he said nudging his head against mine and nuzzling into my neck.

'You seem better…' I said loving the feeling of his head between my neck 'You've helped me so much over the last few months…doesn't mean I don't get depressed…I don't drink but, I still find myself plunging into darkness even during work, Jimmy's been doing such a good job.' He said 'George, I'm always here for you, you know that baby.' 'Some nights you're not, some nights you're in your own bed not beside me, but alone, I hate the idea of being alone.' 'You're never alone.' I said kissing him on the cheek. 'I want to feel like I'm alive again 'Mione, but I can't…everyone thinks I'm dead, you're the only person I see besides Jimmy.' He conceded sadly and I held him. 'Maybe we should set your life right…' I said. 'What do you mean?' he said sitting up quickly to look at me 'You know, tell everyone you're alive, and tell them George Weasley is not a dead man.' I said trying to convince him. 'I'll sleep on it.' I shook my head but, what could I do it was his choice.

I looked at the clock, it was 7:30. 'I'm gonna go to sleep. I'll see you tomorrow or?' he trailed off. 'I'll come back later.' He leant in and kissed me goodnight and broke the kiss off just as quick as it had started and walked off shuffling his feet upstairs to his room. 'Bit early for sleep isn't it?' I asked 'What sleep do you get when your minds like mine?' he replied and I smiled 'I'll be back later.' I said again and he gave me a sleepy smile. 'Night Hermione.'

I apparated back to the Burrow to say hello to the Weasley's and to have some quiet reading, thinking whether or not to go back to George's; I knew if I stayed with George I'd enjoy it more. So what if we just held each other, I wanted to give myself only to him so I was waiting for that special opportunity. George didn't care he thought it was good but, I knew deep down he wanted me. I went from my room to my dresser and got out some satin pyjamas before apparating myself back to George's after reading Lord of the Rings.

_I was lying in bed, tossing and turning for what felt like hours, I would fall asleep only to be awakened by my own nightmares. As I woke up a sixth time I felt the sweat dripping down my forehead and my neck and jumped when I heard a light hand tapping on the door. 'Hermione?' I called out to check it was her 'George, it's just me…' she said before opening the door. She had her black satin flannel neck pyjamas on with white spots, I loved how it stuck to her and I loved the fact even more that within a few seconds she would be in my arms._

_She climbed into bed, sliding under the sheets and pulling herself against me to kiss my lips needingly. 'You're all sweaty…you okay/' she asked concerned and running her hand through my hair. 'Nightmares…' I said rolling on my back to stare at the ceiling. 'What about?' she asked and lied on my chest and listened to my heart beat. 'Just about Fred…and some about you being taken away in the same way he was and then having death eaters laughing maniacally at me as I cried and wept over your dead body…' she looked at me 'I'm not going anywhere Georgie…calm down..' her hair fell all around my face and covered it completely as she kissed me over and over. I wrapped my arms around her and embraced her for a while before settling back down. 'I love you…' I whispered 'I love you too.' I whispered back. _

The next morning we woke up talking about life and where we should go from here. I wanted him to go see his parents and he said no which made him tense, the only way to set this right would be to force him to go. We got ready to go out and walked outside the door, I apparated to get a dress from the Burrow and came back. 'Do you wanna go for a walk?' I asked and he nodded. He was paranoid about going out incase anyone saw him. We walked around and then we stopped in a field. 'Close your eyes George…' I said and he did 'What are you doing Hermione?' I grabbed his hand 'I'm sorry…' I apparated us to the Burrow to the Oak tree where we had been a year and a bit comforting each other.

George looked at me stunned 'What? No Hermione! I'm not going in there!' he protested pointing in the direction of his family home. 'George, you're going to walk in there with me and you're going to give them their memories back and I'm going to explain everything. 'Hermione! Are you bloody crazy? No I'm not…' look I'll be there with you step by step, it'll be fine I promise.' I said to reassure him and he was still hesititant.

'Hermione where have you…' she trailed off as she stared at George… 'My goodness…he looks a lot like Fred…' she said as thoughts came to her head that Fred never had died. 'Mum…' George mouthed and went to walk towards her but; stopped…she had no idea who he was… 'Hermione who is this?' I looked at George and held his hand.

'George, do the spell…' I whispered into his ear, George took his wand from his pocket and whispered the counter curse slowly and within ten seconds his mother realising everything went into shock. 'OH MY GOD! GEORGE! GEORGE YOU'RE ALIVE!' she said running towards him with her hands out towards him. He hugged his mother like she was a teddy bear; in comparison to George she was tiny. She was crying and laughing at the same time and I think he went into shock.

'You were dead…we went to your funeral! We saw you dead!' she said as tears streamed down her face. 'I faked it…' he admitted looking at the ground 'I'm insane mum…' I didn't know what to do other than stand next to him and hope his mother wouldn't make herself have another heart attack. 'If it weren't for Hermione I'd probably be dead…' he said looking at me briefly before looking at the ground.

'George…never leave us again! Please…' as she was crying and George was awkwardly hugging her Harry, Ginny and Mister Weasley walked outside and saw us all. 'Mrs Weasley…who are you hugging?' asked Harry, he had no recollection of George either, he did the counter curse on each of them and their confused faces turned to tears of happiness.

'Our son…' she said as she hugged George tighter, George looked at me and tears were coming to our eyes too. It was like a family reunion, all of us together. They all huddled up in a heap of tears and happiness. 'Thank you Hermione…you bought him home again…' said Mister Weasley and I gave him a smile 'Life's going to get much better.' I said looking at George and George for the first time in a while seemed a little more happier.

As the celebrations of the day, the owls that had gone out to tell everyone George was alive and his comeback to the real world was celebrated with countless drinks. After a lot of celebrations, cake and Mrs Weasley's home made chocolate ice cream, George and I were finally able to be alone as we sat near the Oak tree. 'Thank you Hermione…' he said putting his arm over my shoulder and twisting my hair with his fingers. 'It's okay…they needed to know…I couldn't stand them not knowing if I knew…' I said feeling somewhat bad for it, 'I wasn't sure if you were ready or not.' 'It's alright Hermione, it had to be done…I just needed a push.'

'I still feel like…well you know.' He said looking at the ground, I moved closer to him and wrapped my arms around him. 'George, I won't leave you… I won't do anything until you feel better, I'll always be here for you…I don't know why it had to take till the last few weeks for you to know that…' he put his arms around me and we sat there in silence.

'I didn't drink so much tonight…' he conceded. 'That's great!' I said looking up at him as the afternoon sun began to sink behind the ranges. 'I know just…I don't know what I want from life anymore…well I do but, I just…Well just forget it then.' He said frustrated. I tried to calm him down 'Talk to me…' he shook his head.

'Tell me.' I persisted and he looked at me and held my hand, squeezing it tightly 'Well…it mightn't be the best news or the most wanted of news or anything but…Hermione, I love you, I've loved you for so long and you are somewhat the reason why I'm still breathing beside you right now. Just you make me feel so alive and I'll never find anyone else that makes me feel like you do because there isn't…so what I'm trying to say is…do you…I mean would you…could…want to marry me?' he stuttered out. 'I can understand if you say no…' he looked at the ground like he was down and couldn't get any worse. 'I haven't found the right ring for you yet, but I will get you one, I promise, one that matches the wedding ring.' he said trying to impress me when none of that bothered me, the fact he asked was the best part.

I felt my heart melting, I had wanted this for so long and now the man I wanted to spend the rest of my life with had asked me the best question he ever could ask me. 'Yes George…I can't imagine anything better'. He looked into my eyes as I looked into his and kissed, I held him close 'Don't leave me again, things will get better.' he whispered in my ear and I held him closely. 'I won't I promise Georgie…Just don't leave me again…' we embraced under the oak tree as the sun went down that autumn afternoon and we could both feel between us our lives getting better as we aimed for a new start with life. Hopefully this would end George's self-torture but, the torture he went through had made us stronger and made our relationship better. We made a pact never to leave one another again.


	12. Forever, Always & Till Death

**Finally finished, please rate and review, this chapter isn't this long, I ran out of ideas and had to finish it. Thanks for reading my story and I hope you all enjoyed it. **

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After a while we separated and I slipped my hand into his and we began to walk around the property. 'Bloody hell Hermione you're a good kisser.' I smiled 'Not to bad yourself.' I said smiling at him, his hand tightened around mine. 'I gotta get you a ring…I'm such a bastard.' He said looking down and I stopped him 'George, ring or no ring it doesn't bother me, as long as I spend the rest of my life with you I'll be happy as all hell.' I said squeezing his hand. 'I'm glad you're not picky.' He said smiling and we continued walking around, when we walked hand in hand he didn't feel so much taller than I was even though he was, I guess it was because it didn't bother me too much. 'So you gonna tell your parents?' I asked. 'Not till I've got a ring, to make it official you know.' He made me laugh. 'You're getting better Georgie, I'm proud of you.' I said kissing him on the cheek which almost made me trip over from stretching to reach. 'I love you Hermione.' 'I love you too George.'

About a week later George apparated to my room whilst was I was reading 'Hey, Bookworm.' He said before jumping on my bed to tackle me with hugs and kisses 'You're in a good mood.' I said looking at him as he leaned over me with a grin on his face like the cat that just ate the mouse. 'What's up baby?' I asked closing the book and dropping it on the floor. 'I've got a present for you.' He said still smiling 'I've got a present for you too.' He sat beside me and pulled out a little box from his pocket. 'I present to you Hermione Granger the magical ring!' I swear he was on happy pills I hadn't seen him this happy in neon's. He opened the little red velvet box and revealed a ring encrusted with diamonds on the top part in a shape that looked like the bottom of a heart. On the plain gold band part was an engraving with 'I love you' on it. 'Aw, you're so sweet, thanks Georgie.' I wrapped my arms around him and gave him a kiss. 'I love you so much George thank you…Now for your present.' I said hopping off my bed and went and got a little package. 'Open it.' I said giving it to him and waiting.

'IS IT A BOMB?' he said with a massive smile on his face, his orange hair covering his face 'No it's not a bomb George.' Inside the brown paper bag was a little box, he opened it and it presented a gold pocket watch with an engraving on it with 'I love you George.' Written on the back 'I know you don't like jewellery all that much so I figured a pocket watch with a chain you could have on you all the time would do. I took it out of the box and put it over his neck for the time being and he took my left hand and put my ring on my fourth finger. We sat there for a while he was still smiling. 'George, I don't wanna bug you or anything…but, why are you so happy?' he looked at me for a bit and then reached into his pocket and took out some multi-coloured balls. 'I call these my happy pills, new addition to my shop, I figured I'd rather be happy more than sad…and you do make me happy but I wanna be even more happy.' He said offering me one but, I was already to happy 'I can understand that, I'm glad you're trying again.' 'I know, I know.' He said and looked at me with a serious look on his face 'I'll get there I know I can.' I nodded 'I know you can.'

We sat there for a while and then George got up for some reason and I followed him, he went down the stairs and entered a door, it was Fred's room. 'I haven't been in here since Harry and Ginny's wedding…at least I think it was…' he looked at their old photos, at his books, their recipe books and everything and then sat on his bed. I put my arm around his shoulder and leant against him. 'You alright?' I asked. 'Fine…I have to accept he's gone…he's not coming back…' he said looking away from Fred's made bed 'I know George I know…' I didn't know what else to do rather than comfort him. He hadn't mentioned Fred for a while now and I knew he wouldn't forget him I mean how could you forget someone you spent most of your life with till recently and was your twin.

'C'mon let's go tell your parents.' I said, we went down the stairs and told Mister and Mrs Weasley and they approved it immediately. George was nervous about telling my mum and dad so I decided to do it.

I informed my mum and dad about the wedding an hour later and they were excited. We booked our wedding date for the first of December. Sure enough that came in a flash… George and I wanted it in winter because it was our favourite season and was close to Christmas however, not a year earlier I thought I had lost George…

_From the moment I woke up till the time the wedding ended I felt like I was on an adrenaline rush, from the moment the priest said 'You may now kiss the bride' I knew Hermione felt the same way. She had the most beautiful wedding dress; it was like a princesses dress, with lace embroidery and layer upon layer._ _At about 1 in the morning the wedding reception ended, we left after everyone else so that we could say goodbye to everyone. We took down the tent with a few spells and then got into the Pegasus and carriage that we had organised to take us home. We hadn't talked as much as we would've liked tonight because we were so busy talking to everyone else. Hermione, my new bride was almost asleep beside me as it began to snow. I put my arm around her 'You looked so beautiful tonight Hermione, you made me so proud.' She smiled up at me 'You make me proud to be your wife George Weasley…' she said yawning 'You know I didn't think about Fred once tonight until now…' I conceded and looked out the window. 'We're taking off now.' Said the driver of the carriage and we felt the carriage lift off the ground in a flash. 'I'm sure Fred would've been very proud of you.' She said before drifting off to sleep, she wrapped her arms around my waist and huddled under my arm. 'I love you…' I whispered as I stroked her hair gently._

_Within one hour we were home, I gave her a little shake, her silky wedding down brushing against my fingers, it was so soft… 'We're home.' I said smiling at her and she smiled back sleepily. 'What time is it?' she asked 'Two thirty…' I said yawning. We got off the carriage, thanked the driver and I gave him 150 galleons, I gave him a hundred galleon tip because it was cold as all fuck and it was late. He thanked us for our kindness and left, the large iron gates opened themselves and we almost slept walked to the front door. 'Why are we walking…?' I said and Hermione looked at me giggling 'Cause we're either drunk or forgot we're from the Wizarding world.' I grabbed her little hand in mine and apparated to my room. We stood in the middle of the room looking at each other; I took her in my arms 'Mm I love your body…' I said looking down and admiring my beautiful wife 'You know what we have to do now…I've wanted to give myself to you and to you only for such a long time now I just wanted this night to be special…' she said almost shyly, I could sense her blushing._

_I put my hand under her chin and lifted it up 'It'll be fine Hermione trust me.' she stood on tip toes and kissed me on the cheek 'I trust you too…' I took her in my arms and started kissing her lightly on the lips, just gently sucking them over and over until she stopped me as I put my hands behind her back and traced my index finger down her zipper. 'Do you want me to slip into something less…gown like?' she said looking at her wedding dress, I didn't notice till now how heavy it looked and the fact she'd been dragging it around all day. 'Sure…I'll get us some champagne.' She went to her draw set and pulled out a paper bag and went to the bathroom and I went downstairs to go to the fridge. I came back upstairs and opened the door, Hermione was sitting on the bed looking so damn good, she had a red satin nighty that stuck to her curves and was made of satin for the top and then from under her breasts was a material I wasn't sure of but it was see through. I think she noticed that I basically froze up near the door way because she looked at me funny 'Are you okay?' she asked tilting her head a bit, her hair flowing over her shoulders, she looked like a temptress._

_'Uh…sure.' I closed the door behind me and put the champagne and two glasses on the bed side table and popped the cork. 'Just it's a bit hot in here that's all…' I poured her a glass and didn't realise my hand was shaking, I had no idea why I think I went into shock because she was all mine…or because I wasn't sure if I deserved her…_

_I took off my jacket, vest, shoes, socks and tie and finally sat on the bed beside her and finally got a real good look at her. Her hair was flowing around her shoulders and it was bouncy, probably from being tied up so tightly all day, thin straps held the nighty up and I noticed a black bra and panties underneath it. I had a sip of champagne and so did she. I put my hand on her thigh and stroked my hand over it up and down and then in between her legs and she looked at me with a sweet look in her eyes._

As good as I felt, my heart was pounding! His hands were so gentle as he ran his hand over my thigh. But at the same time George looked like a nervous puppy but, was happy about it and I sat there just sipping my glass slowly. I don't know why I was so nervous I loved George, I wasn't afraid of him or what would happen it was just nerve racking… After about five minutes George leaned over me and looked me in the eyes, I immediately lost myself in his blue eyes and dilated pupils… I knew that was a sound of arousal 'Hermione, baby, I promise tonight I'll be gentle as I can possibly be and I promise I'll make you feel like the most important person in the world because you are to me… I want you to know I'll be with you forever and always no matter what happens, I love you more than life itself and more than anything I can possibly describe. You're the most beautiful woman in the world and I want your first time to be more than just special, I want this night to be the night that you'll never ever forget and look back on years from now when we're old. I know we've spent many nights together holding each other but, this is going to be so much more, I wanted to wait till you were ready to make love to you so that you and I can become one. I love you Hermione Weasley…' he leant closer 'I love you George…you're my best friend baby, I wouldn't have life any other way…'

With that George leant in and ran his hands through my hair, as I ran my hands through his hair gently caressing each other. I unbuttoned his shirt and ran my hands down his chest, it was so firm and muscular I didn't knew he worked out or whatever it was but he felt good. My heart was pounding as I felt the straps on my nightie fall to my elbows and he moved me lower so he could lie me down as he straddled across me kissing me intensely. I removed his shirt and sat up to remove my nightie from over my head. 'Mione…' he moaned into my neck and I felt my breathing stop. It wasn't long before we were both between the covers, kissing, touching and stroking each other, his hands were so gentle and smooth, and he grabbed my thigh and held it against his hip, I could feel his hardness pressing against the side of my thigh and I knew we had to get it on soon.

I ran my hands down his spine and sucked his ear as he kissed down my neck. I was ready for him now, his mouth came up to my cheek and to my lips again and I found his tongue. I could feel him against my thigh even more noticeably and I knew he was way past ready too. 'Hermione…my…sexy wife…' he said between kissing down my chest 'Yes baby…you handsome son of a gun…Bloody hell George I want you…' I said moaning as he ran his hands up and down my thigh roughly. 'How much do you want me?' I grinded against him and moaned impatiently 'Please baby…' I said wrapping my legs around his hips 'Are you ready…?' he said still distracted with sucking the top of my breasts and kneading them with his hands which was driving me crazy, I ran my hands down his back scratching him by accident a few times as his hands ran down to on my thighs which made me thrust up toward his hips. 'Yes…'

I felt him enter me slowly 'Ah…' I groaned in a bit of pain, I could feel tears coming to my eyes as I adjusted to this new feeling, it felt like a burning sensation. As I got used to it I began to enjoy it more 'Sorry baby…Sorry…' he said putting his tongue in my mouth to take my mind off it while he went in further which by that point it didn't bother me anymore it turned to pure pleasure… I pulled him towards me, bucking my hips as he began thrusting slowly. 'George…uh…ohh…I-I love you…' I managed to moan out as I was overcome by extreme pleasure eventually, he picked up the pace and I tried to provoke him by wrapping my legs around him tighter. 'George…it's happening…' I said breathing faster 'I know…uhhh…' he groaned in my ear 'Georgie!' in that moment we both climaxed together and moaned each other's names repeatedly as we made love. I swear it lasted longer than I had heard from other people over the years, George went for what seemed like hours but, I'm sure it wasn't that long…we climaxed several times till we gave out. George kissed me one final time before rolling off me and holding me to him holding my left breast in his hand while his other hand was wrapped around my waist. My heart was pounding so much I couldn't calm down…

_It was over…it only seemed like a few minutes but, I knew it had been longer, I had my hand over Hermione's chest and could feel her heart pounding still and I could hear mine pounding in my ear. It was like a massive adrenalin rush, I had given Hermione everything I possibly could, it wasn't just sex it was way more than that, it was like joining our two souls into one. I was tired and felt totally drained of energy._

_Hermione after a few minutes of trying to calm down rolled over and looked into my eyes. 'Baby…that was the best…that was just incredible…I love you so much…I hope I was alright…' she said looking down at that point and I tilted her chin up. 'Hermione…you were really good baby, I loved every second of it…' we wrapped our arms and legs around each other and embraced a final time before finally retiring for bed at 5 to 5 in the morning. As we lay there side by side feeling each other's presence we both could sense that this was the start of the rest of our lives…_


End file.
